GAGA LOGIC

There is this thing called "Girl Logic" or "Female Logic" or "Woman Logic". Whichever way you refer to it, the basic concept is that it really isn't logical at all but makes sense to her. For example: If a woman has had a salad for lunch & saved 300 calories over what she would normally eat, then she can have a chocolate chip cookie & still have saved 150 calories - therefore a cookie is healthy! Or if a girl found a blouse for half price then she can buy two & she is ecstatic even though she spent the same amount of money.

In my online research trying to explain "Girl Logic" I also found countless examples that seem to drive men crazy. I won't even go into those explanations since most women know how easy it is to confuse a man & drive him nuts without even trying.

A few days ago while shopping with my five year old granddaughter, Charley, I applied the concepts of "Gaga Logic" & it all made perfect sense to me. If you know me or have read these blog posts, you are aware that Gaga is a total pushover when it comes to Charley. I am quite frugal in my "real" life but where Charley is concerned, I will spend money I would never spend elsewhere.

I was watching Charley while her daddy went in to work. It was a windy, rainy day so we were cooped up inside. After watching some TV, eating breakfast & playing dominoes we were planning to see "Beauty & the Beast" at the movies. After checking it out online many sites felt it might be too scary & intense for young children. Charley & I watched a couple of trailers online & she agreed it looked too scary so we scrapped that idea.

I suggested that we go to the mall instead (with a bit of an ulterior motive). Last month we came across some "Monster High" figures at a store. Charley excitedly pointed & knew exactly who they were but I had no clue. We came home, searched on Netflix & watched a "Monster High" show. It was pretty cool.

The characters are typical teen-agers with monster characteristics & names like "Frankie Stein" & "Draculaura" & "Clawdean Wolf" & "Lagoona Blue". Good Lord, I just looked it up & there are 67 characters listed - I'll never remember all of those. The students at "Monster High" get into all sorts of predicaments, but ultimately it works out fine & there is a positive message that is shared. Charley knows lots of songs from the shows & really loves the characters.

My hope was to buy her one or two of the figures. Unfortunately that store in the mall didn't have them anymore so we went to Ross where I ended up buying her a Barbie that she really loved. She has one already & decided to name the new one Rosie who would be Barbie's older sister since she was taller. They each had two or three outfits & could share them.

Gaga was slightly disappointed that we couldn't find the "Monster High" figures so I suggested we head to Toys R Us. It was deja vu all over again for me since I had visited that same store hundreds of times with her daddy when he was on his Star Wars & G.I.Joe quests around thirty years ago.

Of course they had a whole aisle of "Monster High" stuff - who knew? She had to have the "Frankie Stein" figure AND the "Draculaura" with 30 different hair accessories (extensions, clips, headbands, etc). I'd already spent $12 on Rosie & her clothes. These two totaled another $35. This is where the "Gaga Logic" kicked in.

If we had gone to the movie, I would have spent $12 on the tickets & another $12 on popcorn & a drink. That was $24 right there. I have a fairly substantial stash of Christmas & birthday money left to spend. Isn't gift money supposed to be spent on something that you really want that makes you happy? Well, seeing the joy on my sweetie's face when I said, "Sure, Gaga can buy you both of them", made me deliriously happy & I really wanted it. So, I took a $20 from my birthday money & it was just about a wash - "Gaga Logic" - voila!

Charley had the best time playing with Barbie, Rosie, Frankie & Draculaura all afternoon. Any amount spent would have been a bargain. Besides, I only had a boy to interact with & I knew all about trains, Star Wars, & airplanes. I totally loved it. But I never got to change clothes on dolls, put on belts or shoes, comb hair, choose accessories or do any of this cool girl stuff. This is fun!

GAGA, THE SPORTS GEEK

There was never much doubt, but it's official now, Gaga is a sports geek. Several months ago when we learned that the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament was coming to Sacramento, I asked Lou to get us tickets for my birthday. He wasn't too hot on the idea but it is something that I've always wanted to do so he bought the tickets.

Our brand new, state of the art arena, Golden 1 Center, in downtown Sacramento hosted the first & second rounds of what is lovingly called "March Madness". It is a big deal to be chosen as a venue since the tournament brings a lot of visitors & money into the city. By all accounts it was a stunning success for our city & they have put in bids for future NCAA Tournaments.

On Friday there were four basketball games scheduled in two sessions. It was over eight hours of actual basketball plus 30 minutes between games. We left the house at 9:45 AM & returned home at 9:45 PM. On Sunday afternoon the four winners played each other (five more hours) to send two teams to the "Sweet Sixteen" round. What started as 64 teams in 8 different venues is whittled down to 16 after the first week.

I just don't have the time to devote to watching college sports anymore but back in the day, like 30 - 35 years ago, I was a huge college basketball fan. I knew all the teams, the best players, the coaches & could hold my own in a discussion with any man. One year, in the early 80s, I happened to be in Nevada during the first rounds of the tournament. There are 32 games the first two days! Being quite knowledgeable, I sat in the sports bar literally all day making $5 bets & winning the majority of them. All the old men loved the crazy sports lady & the bartender bought me drinks all day!

I don't have an official "Bucket List", but if I did attending an NCAA Basketball Tournament would be on it, especially the "Final Four" which I hope to someday accomplish as well. The funny thing was that those players who I watched 30 years ago are the coaches now!  And their sons are playing the games. It was a lot of fun for me even though it was a real marathon session. Lou was a real trooper since he has never been a college sports fan at all. He only fell asleep a couple of times.

Maybe it's because they intentionally gouge you on prices or maybe it's partly because I'm getting old, but the concession prices are outrageous! The jumbo hotdog was $10 (& it wasn't that big), the Carnitas Nachos were $13 (they were really good) & a 20 ounce bottle of soda or water was $5 (half that at a convenience store). Literally nothing was less than $5 & they didn't sell beer since it was a college event. Lord only knows what that would have cost??!!?

We ate both lunch & dinner at the arena on Friday at a cost of around $60 for not a lot of food. It is difficult to carry food & drinks up the steep stairs of the upper deck plus there are no cup holders, one of my pet peeves. I mean, come on, it is supposed to be state of the art & no cup holders on the upper level??? On Sunday we stopped at Mel's Diner for a late lunch & skipped dinner to avoid the cost & inconvenience. By halftime of the second game, I decided to splurge & buy some Red Vines (red licorice is what we called it) & a bottle of water for $10.

When I was a kid our family went to a local ballpark to watch softball games. Our treat was red licorice at a cost of a penny each. My mother let us buy five for a nickel. Once in awhile if it was a long evening, we could have ten for a dime. I did the math & my red licorice at the tournament cost 33-1/3 cents each. However, it did bring back memories of sporting events past & I enjoyed it immensely.

Years ago I told Lou not to buy me jewelry or expensive gifts for birthdays or Christmas, but take me to a sporting event, concert or on a trip instead. He's done that now for years & for me that is a sign of true love. Most people think I'm crazy for choosing 12 hours of basketball over a diamond - but, hey, that's me! I love it & I'm not apologizing for it.

So, here I sit typing away less than an hour before my 67th birthday, eating the last few of my three for a dollar Red Vines that used to cost one cent each, thinking I've got it pretty good. Plus I get to see the light of my life, Charley Ellen, in just about 36 hours. Happy Birthday to me. Life is good!

DIVINE INTERVENTION

These past few days I have been experiencing a Twilight Zone-ish thing that culminated this morning in a really good conclusion. But first let me give you a little background information as to how this all came about. I'm still shaking my head back & forth as I sit here writing about my little escapade with what can only be described as divine intervention.

Many of you know that we returned from an eleven day southern Caribbean cruise  a week & a half ago. It was a wonderful cruise except for one minor happenstance. On the second day of the cruise I bit into my tasty cheese roll at dinner to feel something extremely hard. Oh, shit, I murmured as I realized it was a tooth or a piece of one! I pulled it out of my mouth & was just starting to examine it as the waiter arrived to take our order.

I shoved the tooth in my pocket & hoped that it wasn't from somewhere that showed when I talked or smiled. After ordering some absolutely delicious salmon, I realized that it was a few teeth from the back on the upper left. And fortunately, it didn't hurt at all. Thank goodness for small favors.

When we returned to our cabin, I quickly zipped it into a small baggie & placed it in the cupboard - this much I know for sure. We were in a hurry to get to the show & I didn't know if it was a crown or a tooth that had broken off. Over the next few days I kind of forgot about the tooth but have vague remembrances of putting it in either my purse or my carry on bag (somewhere safe) to bring home & take to the dentist.

Today was my dental appointment. I started looking a few days ago for the tooth. Low & behold, I couldn't find the frickin' thing anywhere. I looked in my purse & checked every pocket in my carry on more than once but no tooth. As time went on I was really thinking that it was a crown for a number of reasons that aren't necessary to the story - & you don't need details of my mouth I'm sure.

I brought Lou into the search a day or two ago & he looked in all of his stuff to no avail. Now, I was getting pissed off since I figured it would be way cheaper to glue it back on then to make a new one. We pulled down the suitcases & carry ons to search one more time - nothing. Damn it, where could it be? Both of us had checked every cabinet in our stateroom several times before departure & were sure we would have noticed the baggie if it was still there.

I kept repeating my mantra, "If all it takes is time or money to fix something, it isn't that big of a problem." But I sure didn't want to spend hundreds of dollars if I didn't need to. I had resolved myself to that being the case, telling myself, "It's only money."

I love my dentist who is in Pleasanton (100 miles from Sacramento) so I had to get up early to make my 10:30 AM appointment. I brought my grooming things downstairs so as not to disturb Lou. After breakfast, make up & hair fixing, I decided to pull my travel toothbrush & toothpaste out of my quart bag for liquids that was still in my purse from our flights & just brush my teeth downstairs.

There is a small opening in part of the toothbrush & I noticed something weird was wedged in it. Muttering "What the hell?" (actually something much more descriptive), I was flabbergasted to find my tooth! My first thought was "Thank you, God, for looking out for me" once I comprehended that it was indeed the wayward tooth.

Literally 10 minutes before I was ready to leave it turned up in the strangest place - no baggie, just the tooth. I have absolutely no recollection of putting it in the quart bag with my liquids but I must have. I guess that was my "safe place". Maybe senility really is kicking in. Or I'm just going nuts.

Arriving at the office, I asked the dentist if it was indeed a crown. She replied, "Yep & it looks in good shape. We should be able to glue it back on." It was quick, easy & no novocaine required. The best part is that it literally saved me at least $800!!! I am in awe of all the tiny unrelated details that had to come together this morning to find the stupid tooth. Can you imagine if I paid for a new one & found the damn thing next week? I am so thankful that God had my back through all this craziness!