Wednesday, April 25, 2018

HALF A WORLD AWAY

It is really difficult to remain calm & positive when you learn that your only child is in surgery in Oakland after an injury in the Dominican Republic & you are in Thailand, half a world away - literally. Yes, my "child" is 42 years old, but as every mom & dad knows, they are your "babies" as long as you live.

We had left on a 21 day vacation to Singapore, Thailand, Sri Lanka, India, Oman & Dubai just a few days before Darrin's accident. He & Patricia, were on a week long getaway to Punta Cana, DR, that overlapped our trip by a few days. Due to our father's advanced ages & health issues, I had changed my phone service to include international phone calls at 20 cents a minute & free texts so we could keep in touch. BUT it would only work on land, not on the ship.

After a day at sea, we were on a tour in Phuket, Thailand, when my phone beeped with the notification that I had a text. It was to both Allen (Darrin's dad) & me that had been sent the night before. It read in part:

"Hi Allen & Kathy. This is Patricia. Darrin is safe & fine now, but I wanted to update you on his condition. While on vacation, Darrin had an unfortunate fall that further injured his hip. (He was on crutches from a stress fracture in his upper thigh that occurred while training for a half marathon.)

"We were able to get medical care there, which included an x-ray that showed the top of the femur was broken. The doctors in the DR & Oakland agreed that surgery was needed. Weighing all the options & risks, we decided to return home ASAP for the surgery at Kaiser Oakland."

It was a lengthy text that gave us all the pertinent details. I barely skimmed the last couple of paragraphs before sitting down on a low wall & calling Patricia from the top of a mountain in Phuket. The sights on our tour were suddenly of no interest to me. Patricia answered immediately & told me Darrin was taken into surgery about half an hour ago. Allen had driven down to Oakland & they were waiting for word of the "open reduction surgery" results which entails putting a metal plate & pins or screws into the bone to stabilize it.

After talking extensively with both Patricia & Allen, I was soon able to breathe somewhat normally. They both said they would remain in contact with me almost as if I was sitting there with them - & they did. About an hour later I received this text, "Good news. Out of surgery with a plate & screw. Doctor very pleased. He is in recovery now. Will text when we can see him in about an hour." Sitting outside the Seashell Museum, I was immediately in tears. Knowing he was through the surgery was such a relief. Plus most of you know that I cry at those Folgers coffee commercials & pretty much every movie so this was not unexpected.

Our tour was wrapping up & I still hadn't heard that they had seen him yet. As we prepared to board the tender, I was getting antsy with no news, especially knowing that we would be at sea with no affordable communication for two days. This text arrived a short while later, "Heading up to see him now. Nurse said he's doing fantastic. He may be able to go home tomorrow." I took some deep breaths & boarded the tender thinking that it would be okay & I could enjoy the rest of our trip. 

Halfway back to the ship as the tender bounced slowly across the sea, my phone rang. I frantically dug it out of my purse & answered. It was Darrin! An hour out of surgery he wanted to reassure me that he was doing okay & I shouldn't worry - yeah, right. I fought the tears again as I was incredibly moved that my son was making sure that I was alright after he went through such an ordeal.

And maybe a little part of it was that he just wanted to hear his mom's voice. We talked for several minutes before hanging up with many "love you lots" & promises to call in every port. As I hung up, that's when the waterworks started again - right there in the middle of the tender with 200 other passengers. I didn't even bother to explain, just sniffled & wiped my tears. It really is unbelievably hard to be half a world away when you want to be there holding his hand with love & support. Thank God for the cheap international calls.

Follow up: He did leave the hospital the next day & his dad took him up to his place in Sonora where he & Marilyn took good care of him for two weeks. Allen brought him home yesterday for a follow up appointment which showed all is healing well. After being up for almost 48 hours as Lou & I traveled from Delhi, India to San Francisco these past two days, I absolutely had to make a stop in Hayward on our way home to hug my kid & see for myself that he is indeed okay. He is!