INGE

I've been trying to write this for days but I honestly don't know where to begin or what to say. So, I'm just going to send what I've got even though it doesn't do justice to this beautiful, amazing woman. Lou's oldest sister, and one of my best friends, Inge, died on January 27th from Covid-19. This is Lou's second sister to succumb to this horrible disease in the past six months. Inge had some health issues but nothing life threatening when she went to the hospital where she likely caught the virus. It has been a nightmare of a year to say the least. 

This post is not intended to be a recounting of Inge's death but rather a positive, uplifting recounting of her life and our friendship. Lou and I have been together almost twenty years. Inge and her husband, Ron, lived out of state when I first came into their family picture. Awhile later, I spoke to her on the phone and we clicked instantly. You know how certain people just seem to connect on some higher level? Well, Inge and I had that from our first phone conversation.

We met in person a couple years later at a family gathering at our house. I was meeting Inge, Ron and Lou's two aunts from Southern California for the first time to celebrate Lou's dad's birthday. My job was to happily play hostess for our group of ten relatives. I enjoy dinner parties as long as I am prepared and prefer to do pretty much everything myself. I had two lasagnas in the oven (one meat and one veggie), the salad was made and I had declined any offers of help telling them all to visit with the "birthday boy".

As I slid one of the foil pans of lasagna from the oven, the damn thing flipped over onto the open oven door! Me being me, I loudly exclaimed, "Fuck!" The conversation in the living room stopped and I heard Inge immediately holler, "We didn't hear anything. But can I help you with something?" Fortunately, we scraped most of it off the oven door and back into the pan. It didn't look quite as attractive but still tasted okay. And Lou's family had their first in person impression of his girlfriend. Luckily they still seemed to like me and I became close friends with a few of them.

My other favorite story regarding Inge was many years later. Inge and Ron had moved back to California and were living in Lodi (about an hour away). Ron was doing an overnight sleep test through the VA in Sacramento. After dropping him off Inge spent the night at our house. She and I were enjoying a bottle of wine since neither of us had to drive. It turns out that we both watched American Idol and this was the year (2009) that Adam Lambert was on the show. I loved Adam Lambert and it turns out that Inge did, too.

He gave a stunning performance! We looked at each other and said, "We have to vote for him!" I don't think I'd ever voted on any of those shows before - or since. This was back in the days before you could vote via text. You had to call or vote online. We raced into our office and I sat down at my computer. Lou was at his computer across the room. Inge, being the big sister, told him to get up, she needed his computer to vote for Adam! Although I'm sure he thought we were a bit crazy, he relinquished his seat. After voting as many times as was allowed we both went back to our wine and the TV. Adam Lambert didn't win that year but it sure as hell wasn't our fault. 

Inge and Ron spent a few years in Montana with Ron's family before moving back to Stockton about 6 or 7 years ago. These past years she and I became even closer friends. We talked on the phone every week or two - often for an hour or more each time. We met for regular lunches which were a wonderful outlet for both of us to vent, whine, bitch - all those things that girlfriends are want to do. We always knew we could count on each other. 

Ron suffered from Lewy body dementia and Inge was such a trooper taking care of him the last couple years of his life. I was so thankful I could be there to listen and help when I could. I attended some of the meetings with her regarding Ron's condition and treatment. She could be a real pit bull when the situation warranted it.

A couple years prior to my hip replacement surgery, Inge went through the same operation. She chose to have the surgery at Stanford. I drove to Stockton, then drove her car (about 150 miles each way) with them to the hospital for all the preliminary appointments - and to babysit Ron since his condition was beginning to worsen. It was an all day ordeal but I was so grateful I could do that for her. I was honored that she asked for my help. Her surgery was a success and it was a prelude to what I would personally experience a few years later.

Ron passed away last April and although we had to curtail our in person lunches due to Covid-19, our phone calls increased this past year. I was looking forward to walking with her on the weekends she stayed with her dad but our first attempt was cancelled due to her hospitalization. I can't believe that my friend is no longer with us. I miss her tremendously and can't imagine life without her.