BUCKET LIST OR F*CK IT LIST

Warning: There will be several references to the two items in the title of this post. If you are easily offended by descriptive words, better stop reading now. But honestly, this concept is really enlightening, especially if you are entering the fourth quarter in life.

Way back when, seventeen years ago to be exact, a movie called “The Bucket List” was released. It starred Jack Nicholson & Morgan Freeman as two terminally ill men who set off on a journey to fulfill as many of the life wish list items they wanted to experience before they “kick the bucket”. It started a huge movement of everyone having a “bucket list”.

Personally, I’ve never embraced the idea of a bucket list. It always seemed a little morbid to think that if I accomplished everything on my list, then it was time to die. Or if my list was so huge that I could never finish it, that would be really sad since I would die with so much still to be done.

Of course, there are lots of things I’ve wanted to do & places I’ve wanted to see in my life but I never thought of them as “must do” items to make my life complete. I’m pretty sure when I’m on my death bed, I won’t be thinking, “Damn, I never did…whatever.”

Many times, I have used the phrase, “I don’t have a bucket list per se, but if I did it would include…whatever.” On that “per se bucket list” were things like visiting the Acropolis in Greece, seeing Tina Turner & Cher perform live, traveling to all 50 states, extensively traveling the world, living in a beautiful home with my loving partner, attending the NCAA Basketball Tournament, riding the world’s tallest roller coaster (at the time), going to a Super Bowl, seeing Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr (separately) in concerts & many more that don’t come to mind right now. I’ve been fortunate enough to have done all those!

A few items still left on that ever-changing “per se bucket list” are seeing Dolly Parton perform live, attending the Olympic Games, traveling to Bali & Tahiti, attending a World Series game & seeing even more of the world.

Many years ago, on a hike with Darrin, he mentioned a concept that his girlfriend, Patricia, had shared with him – that of a “Fuck It List”. Everyone has the “Bucket List” of must dos before exiting this life. But another just as meaningful concept is the “Fuck It List”, things that you can easily go to your grave never having done or accomplished & being perfectly fine with that.

Even though I skydived in my teens I am terrified of heights. Therefore, jumping off of anything high can certainly go on my “Fuck It List”. I’m not overly adventurous with food, so eating things like tripe, lamb brains or bull testicles (saw that in Hungary) – on the “Fuck It List”. Climbing Half Dome or Mt. Whitney, back in the day, maybe, but that ship has sailed & I can easily relegate it to the “Fuck It List”. I am discovering in my 70s that the “Fuck It List” is an extremely liberating concept. Thank you, Darrin & Patricia.

What brought all this to mind is that I recently read that the NBA All Star Game will be held in San Francisco in 2025. Since it was first created back in 1986 when Larry Bird won the first three years, I’ve loved the “Three Point Shootout” at the All-Star Saturday event. That would definitely be on my pseudo bucket list to attend in person someday. Wouldn’t tickets to the All-Star Saturday be a fantastic 75^th birthday gift? If you’re reading this Lou – hint, hint – wink, wink.

HE COULD.....GO.....ALL.....THE.....WAY!

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a sports fanatic! As long as I can remember sports have been a big part of my life. My dad was a huge sports fan and I’m sure I inherited it from him. Being his first born of two daughters I was “the boy”. We played catch outside most afternoons and couldn’t get enough of TV sports – baseball, football, basketball, etc. I’ve taken pride my entire life that I can hold my own with any man in a discussion regarding sports. 

A few weeks ago, Lou & I were in the car when “Werewolves of London”, the Warren Zevon song from the 1970s, came on the radio. It reminded me of sportscaster Chris “Boomer” Berman. Let me explain. Berman worked for ESPN since its inception in 1979 starting as an anchor of Sportscenter, a staple of the network. Along with hosting Sunday NFL Countdown, NFL Primetime and covering numerous sporting events over 40+ years, Berman is well known for his various catchphrases (hence the title of this post), quirky demeanor & nicknames for sports stars. His “BACK, BACK, BACK, BACK” homerun calls during the MLB Home Run Derby are legendary.

But I digress, there is a line in “Werewolves of London” that says – “I saw a werewolf drinkin' a piña colada at Trader Vic's, his hair was perfect”. One of my favorite nicknames that Berman was famous for creating during his broadcasting career was of an NFL defensive back, Steve “Werewolves of” London. Berman added in his fast-paced commentary – “his hair was perfect!”

I’m hoping that some of you will recall these nicknames & remember how clever Chris Berman was to knock these out week after week as he reported the highlights of the games. If you don’t have a clue what I’m talking about, just shake your head & consider me a wacky sports nut. Hopefully you’ll get a kick out of them anyway.

Here are a few of my favorites. These are all sports stars of varying fame. Some of them require a little bit of thought & maybe saying them out loud.

Bert “Be Home” Blyleven

Andre “Bad Moon” Rison

John “I Am Not A” Kruk 

Eddie “Eat Drink and Be” Murray

Sammy “Say it Ain’t” Sosa

Mike “Enough” Aldrete

Jim “Bela” Fregosi

Mike “Pepperoni” Piazza 

Jim “Washer and” Dwyer 

Todd “Which Hand Does He” Frohwith – (love this one!)

Mike “You’re in Good Hands With” Alstott 

Todd “Highway To” Helton 

Scott “Supercalifragilisticexpiali” Brocious – (this was #1 in fan voting) 

I’ve been debating whether to write this post for a couple weeks now since it may be a little obscure for general audiences but decided to go for it. Chris Berman really is a legend in the sports announcing world. A six-time honoree of the National Sports Media Association’s National Sportscaster of the Year award, Berman helped establish ESPN’s lasting popularity during its formative years.

NEVER HAVE I EVER - A RENTAL CAR FIASCO!

Okay, as promised here’s our crazy rental car story. I have had the good fortune to travel the world visiting 66 countries and all 50 states. Never have I ever experienced a fiasco like the one we encountered at Atlanta-Hartsfield airport’s Dollar Rental Car. Yes, we’ve had some problems in the past but this one was new to both of us. I had found a decent deal, far from cheap, but do-able with Dollar and booked it many weeks ago for our 8 day trip to Georgia and Alabama. Photos and trip report are on Travels Near & Far.

We arrived into Atlanta on time and took two trams/trains to get our luggage and find the Rental Car Center. It was 7:30 PM and the plan was to pick up the car, eat dinner on the way to the hotel then be well rested for the next day. We entered the line of about 6-8 people waiting for Dollar. A minute later, an agent yells out, “Just so you know, we have no cars available and the wait could be up to 6 hours.” WTF????  It didn’t matter that all these people (and many already waiting nearby) had reservations just like us. If you know me, you know that my French was spewing fluently from my mouth.

My son had shared some great advice from one of his teachers 25+ years ago. Spend 20% of your time on the problem (and bitching about it) and 80% of your time on the solution. We went into solution mode. They were still processing reservations in the hopes that cars would come filtering in. Lou waited in line to do that with the assurance that we could get a refund at any time if we were able to find an alternative. I walked around to all 10-12 car rental counters and politely asked if they had any cars available without a reservation. Not one of them did – except Avis. And they had about 20 people in line.

Lou went to wait in that line while I waited at Dollar. They had announced to the 30+ people waiting, not necessarily patiently, but waiting, that if you weren’t there when your name was called, your car would be given to the next customer. Lou returned about half an hour later saying that when he was 4-5 people from the counter they announced there were no more cars. Shit.

Back to waiting as the time clicked away. It was probably 9 PM by then. I called the hotel to explain the situation and tell them we would be late. We checked Uber prices and then Ubering back in the morning in the hopes of getting a car. That would have added well over $150 and wasted a lot of time. I talked with the Dollar agent (really nicely in hopes of getting a special “deal”, no luck) but I did learn that whether you make a reservation with the rental company, a third party or anywhere, on the phone or online, that does not guarantee a car. If there are no cars, there are no cars. According to the agent, this happens more often than he would like to say.

Just for something to do Lou went off to ask at the other rental car counters again. I struck up a conversation with a man next to me who had been waiting since 2 PM for a van for six people that he reserved months ago. He, his wife, kids and a couple friends had flown in from Italy! He was frustrated and I felt so bad for him. I empathized and told him I wanted to apologize for our country. We are usually more welcoming and don’t put tourists through all of this. In the middle of our conversation, they called his name! He jumped up and yelled! I clapped and cheered wishing him luck.

When Lou returned, I told him the story of the Italian visitors. We decided to wait until 11 PM and then re-evaluate the situation. It was beginning to look like sleeping on the floor of the Rental Car Center (for which I am way too old) might be our only option. This was probably around 10 PM by now. The people kept thinning out as they called a few names and others might have found a place to stay or friends came or something. We hadn’t eaten anything since lunch and neither of us were really hungry.

Low and behold, at 10:30 PM, the woman yelled out, “Padgug”! We grabbed the paperwork and headed out to the car – about 3 hours later than it should have been. Our little Kia Rio (we didn’t care what they gave us at this point, it was a car) had only half a tank of gas and still had soap suds on it from the semi-wash they gave it. We arrived at out hotel about 11:15 PM. Lou didn’t want anything but I had wine and half a bag of chips for dinner in our room. We always say, "It's all part of the adventure."

CONCERTS THEN AND NOW

Last week we went to the California State Fair in Sacramento. When we attend, we try to choose a night with a performer we both want to see – often old rockers. This time it was George Thorogood and the Destroyers. He did not disappoint. We had both seen him before at least 25-30 years ago.

George Thorogood is about a month older than me. He never complained about his age or made concessions for his 73 years like many of the old rockers do. It seemed to me that he still saw himself as a 40 year old sexy, bad boy. Actually, he was quite full of himself but it came off as kinda cute, not obnoxious. We both had a great time and he played all of his old songs – “I Drink Alone”, “Bad to the Bone”, “Who Do You Love” and “One Scotch, One Bourbon, One Beer”.

It got me thinking about my first concert and how different rock and roll performers were way back then. The very first group I saw live on stage was “Paul Revere and the Raiders”. Yep, I was madly in love with lead singer, Mark Lindsay. I’m not ashamed to admit that I had all four of my walls covered with photos of him from the teen magazines of that era. I was working on the ceiling when I finally got over that obsession.

Anyway, I was probably 15 (back in 1965) because I didn’t drive yet. A few of us got tickets for the show. We had a friend who was 17 who thought she was hot stuff because she drove us to the Oakland Auditorium (long gone now but near the site of the current Oakland Museum). I didn’t care how I got there but I was thrilled to see Paul Revere and the Raiders” or more specifically, Mark Lindsay. He had long, thick dark hair in a pony tail, long, lanky legs and was sexy as hell.

Back in the day, bands never started on time. They were a minimum half an hour late or longer taking the stage. There were no metal detectors or bag checks to enter. We had floor seats and everyone was allowed to walk up to the stage to take photos. Remember this was long before cell phones were even conceived so you had your little Brownie camera with the flash cube on top.

Once the concert started the entire audience stood up. Being 5’4” tall, I couldn’t see over anyone. I stood on my chair but soon everyone stood on their chairs. Same problem, couldn’t see anything. There was a cute guy in the row in front of me. Being emboldened to get glimpses of Mark Lindsay in person, I asked if I could stand on top of the back of his chair and hold onto him. He agreed. I was much more agile back then and watched most of the performance standing on the back of a chair holding onto a cute stranger.

All of these memories had me comparing the differences of concerts then and now. George Thorogood started right on time, not a minute late. People would stand up and dance at times but usually sat back down soon. Remember the average age of an old rocker concert is probably above 60 but occasionally you see younger people which warms my heart. Their parents raised them right.

There was one man in the audience who must have thought he was special or invisible because he stood up most of the show. The only person to be constantly standing and, of course, he blocked my view of the stage. Halfway through, I had to really bite my tongue to keep from yelling, “Sit the fuck down!”

They did an encore but the band members came back on the stage less than a minute later. In the old days, it would take forever of screaming, yelling and clapping for the band to grace you with their presence once again.

With all of my teenage years being in the 1960s, I have been and always will be rock and roll when it comes to music. I was 14 when the Beatles arrived in the U.S. Any girl of my era had a favorite Beatle, mine was Paul. I did go through what I refer to as “my country phase” in the early 70s for a few years but then all the 80s rock and roll grabbed me again. Thanks to my granddaughter and late night TV, I do know some current music. Taylor Swift and Lady Gaga are great and I do enjoy some Post Malone (Sunflower) and Imagine Dragons (Believer).

Maybe it is because I’m getting old – but much of today’s music all sounds the same. I just don’t believe that today’s kids will be getting out of their seats at the fair in 50 years and rockin’ out to “Driver’s License” by Olivia Rodrigo.

I totally agree with Bob Seger.

“Call me a relic, call me what you will.
Say I'm old-fashioned, say I'm over the hill.
Today's music ain't got the same soul.
I like that old time rock and roll.”

THE QUEEN OF RIDICULOUS INJURIES - RECAP

For the first time in a little over a year, I am relatively injury free! I figured I’d better write this quickly before something else happens. The old saying “getting old ain’t for sissies” is most definitely true. I seem to have recently become "the queen of ridiculous injuries".

Let me recap for you. In June of 2022, Lou and I went on a Caribbean cruise with Darrin (my son) and Charley (my granddaughter). On the way we sat down at a restaurant in the airport and I pushed a really heavy chair back to put my bag on it. Something in my right upper arm ripped, tore or popped and there was a searing pain for a few minutes.

Once the initial pain had lessened, it didn’t hurt but a 3-4” bright purple bruise formed just above my elbow over the next few days. I saw my doctor upon on my return but with ultrasounds and MRIs and referrals it was August when I finally had surgery to repair three tendons in my shoulder. Two were partially torn and the other completely ripped away from my rotator cuff. When I do things, I do them right!

I had a great orthopedic surgeon who specializes in shoulders and he did it arthroscopically with six small incisions. The rehab was a bitch. I slept in a recliner for over four weeks and had to do everything left-handed or with Lou’s help. I was in a sling for four months which included our move to Roseville. My sister and brother-in-law were a big help and somehow, we managed. After months of physical therapy, I was using my arm and shoulder pretty well.

Just about that time, I woke up one morning and my right foot hurt like hell. I have severe neuropathy but this was different and far worse. I could barely walk, and no way could I drive. Lou drove me to urgent care the next day. An x-ray showed that I had a fractured second metatarsal bone and I came home with a rigid boot up to my knee. The only explanation I could come up with was that I must have broken it getting out of my bathtub since I was still favoring my right arm and couldn’t push up with it??? I told you – the queen of ridiculous injuries.

My foot took its sweet time healing and suddenly the pain got way worse again. An x-ray showed the third metatarsal was now broken, also. I had just transitioned to the post op shoe but it was back to the boot. I am still at a complete loss as to how that bone broke. FYI: I had a bone scan that showed only minimal bone density loss.

After another three months in the boot or post op shoe, I finally saw the latest x-ray showing that both bones are healed! After almost eight months, I am now able to start walking in regular shoes but must “be careful”. I’m still digging through my closet looking for all my right shoes since I only wore the left ones since last December.

About a month and a half ago my right thumb started hurting – a lot. It was hard to do anything. I bought a thumb brace which helped some but it was really hampering me. I called my doctor (when the hell did my life start revolving around doctors?). She was pretty sure it was arthritis and recommended a cortisone shot. Oh, fun!

Cortisone wasn’t effective at all before my hip replacement five years ago so I wasn’t optimistic but decided I had to try something. The shot hurt like hell. She said it could take up to a week to see improvement which I thought was a little odd. After five days nothing was different and I was getting discouraged. On day six it felt a little better. Day seven and eight showed more improvement. It isn’t great but it is better for sure and I can do most daily activities with minimal pain. I’m calling that a victory for now.

So that is how, I am writing this the end of July with no pain in my close to 100% shoulder, two healed broken bones in my foot and a useable, basically pain-free right hand. Maybe, just maybe, I can make it through a few more years without any more torn or broken body parts. Here’s hoping the reign of the queen of ridiculous injuries is over! 

80 FOR BRADY

If you are looking for a way to spend a fun, carefree afternoon and walk around with a smile on your face, I highly recommend treating yourself to watching the new movie “80 for Brady”. It was delightfully entertaining and had the entire audience laughing at some of the craziness. It was Senior Discount Day and the theater was teeming with old people, but I do think that 40 or 50 year olds might get a kick out of it, too.

I have wanted to see the film since I first learned about it. How can you go wrong with four legendary actresses with loads of talent? Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin are two of my favorites. Their portrayal of “Grace and Frankie” on Netflix is priceless. Add Rita Moreno, the original Anita in West Side Story, and everyone’s favorite Gidget, Sally Field, to round out the “80 for Brady” stars.

To be honest, I was expecting a lot of silly and cheesy. And, yes, parts of it were silly and cheesy but these four remarkably talented icons of stage and screen pulled it off with flying colors. Throw in some great football players and a fun storyline to round out the box office success it has had. The film opened last Friday and was the second highest grossing movie of the weekend earning 14 million dollars! You go, girls!

I don’t want to give away too much of the plot so everyone can enjoy it. But “80 for Brady” follows four 80-something women friends who journeyed to Texas for Super Bowl LI because they loved quarterback Tom Brady and the Patriots. The movie is loosely based on a true story. The real life “Over 80 for Brady Club” was five widows named Elaine, Betty, Anita, Pat and Claire - best friends for years united in their love for the Patriots. The screenplay altered the number of friends and gave each of them different backstories to develop throughout the movie.

Somewhat surprisingly, the characters all came to life on the screen and did a great job of uplifting the audience making us all feel like we were traveling along with them through the twists and turns of the story line. Literally everyone left the theater smiling and feeling pretty good about aging after joining these stars of Hollywood in their adventures.

I watched a couple of talk shows with all four of these legends promoting their film together. Sally Field kept pointing out that she was only 76, not 80-something. And Rita Moreno coyly stated, “That’s true. We are not all in our 80s.” She is 91. Lily Tomlin is 83 and Jane Fonda is 85. On one of the talk shows they started discussing all their previous surgeries and Jane Fonda spoke up saying, “I have only one joint of my own left.” As everyone laughed, Sally Field announced, “And she’s going to smoke it tonight!”

This is one of the best feel good "chick flicks" I've seen in quite awhile. If anyone local wants to see it, I'll happily go with you, again. "80 for Brady" makes it cool to be an old lady and embraces the fact that life doesn't end at 70 or 80. Often times, the later years are the best years of our lives. Do yourselves a favor and head to the theater to watch this delightful movie!

THE JOYS OF HOLIDAY AIR TRAVEL

With much of the U.S. in the midst of an unprecedented storm, California is basically sunny but getting here from elsewhere has been quite the "adventure". We celebrated early Christmas in Albuquerque with Darrin and Charley. Lou returned on time, uneventfully last Sunday. From there it's been a downhill battle to get anywhere in the air.

I left on Wednesday, December 21, at the beginning of the nationwide storm and was met with an hour delay on my first flight out of Albuquerque. The connecting flight in Burbank was still on time. There is no way to fly from Albuquerque to Sacramento nonstop. Every route requires a connection and anywhere from 4 to 6 hours of time on a good day.

For those of you who don't know, I somehow broke my foot about 3 weeks ago and am in a walking boot. That qualified me for pre boarding and a wheelchair. Lou thanked me for breaking my foot since it got us on first and seats in the bulkhead.   - a nice thing for a 6'3" guy. 

I kept tracking my return flights and knew I'd only have about 10 minutes at best to get to my flight in Burbank. I decided to risk it even though it was the last flight of the day. Southwest is really good about holding late flights. I've waited on many fully boarded planes for 15 minutes or more for connecting passengers and luggage. I crossed my fingers I'd make it okay.

Sure enough, we landed with about 7 minutes to spare BUT there was no gate available. After about 15 minutes we pulled up to the gate. I was in row 2 with my pre board and I hightailed it (as fast as I could go in my boot) to the plane to Sacramento. Figuring I'd be in a middle seat in the back, I was surprised to see they saved me a seat in the first row since they knew I was a pre board. Hectic and stressful but I made it home only about 20 minutes late. However, it took half an hour to get my bag and took Lou another 20 minutes to maneuver through the airport traffic. I'm surprised there aren't 10 wrecks a day at busy airports during peak travel time.

Unfortunately, that was just a preview of what my son went through yesterday flying from Albuquerque to Oakland for Christmas with his girlfriend. He called me after taking his daughter to her mother's and heading to the airport where he found out his first flight was delayed an hour. The connection in Las Vegas was also delayed so he wasn't sweating it and commented, "I'll take delayed as long as it isn't cancelled." As the afternoon wore on the delays and cancellations increased. Weather in the southwest was fine but the storm was wreaking havoc with previous flights. The airports were packed full of people trying to rebook and get somewhere for the holidays.

Darrin made it to Las Vegas late in the evening and had another lengthy delay during which we chatted a few times. I stay up late anyway and he texted that he was boarding the aircraft at 12:30 am! I went to bed only to get a call an hour later. Turns out they boarded the entire plane only to find out there were no pilots available. WTF? The flight was cancelled and the travelers were stranded until the next day (Christmas eve). Every ticket counter had at least 40 tired and stressed passengers in line. Darrin was discussing options with me and decided to call the special Southwest frequent flyer number while waiting in line. About 2 am he texted that they got him on a flight at 7:30 am this morning. 

After a couple hours of sleep in Las Vegas International Airport and a Starbucks breakfast, he was finally on yet another delayed flight after two gate changes and ultimately landed in Oakland at 10:30 am! He was still laughing about the ordeal and doing his best to take it all in stride. We were thankful he wasn't flying from somewhere back east with Charley. He related families spending the night on the airport floor with babies and small children in tow. 

We are all where we plan to be for Christmas - finally! I can remember the good old, glamour days of air travel when it seemed so civilized. Now, it is a crowded, crazy-ass madhouse. I keep reminding myself that it's all part of the adventure.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good-night!

BROKEN FOOT UPDATE

Just got back from an appointment with the Sutter orthopedic podiatrist. I am wearing a new, rigid, state-of-the-art walking boot up to my knee. You'll recall I found out my foot was broken on Friday afternoon and I was referred to orthopedics. They called me at 8:45 am this Monday morning and said they could get me in today at 2:15 pm!

Sutter Orthopedics gets an A+ from me. The doctor was great. More on him later but first Sutter Urgent Care's "Gaga grade" has been lowered to a D-. First, that doctor said he thought it was a sprain but he would call me if it was broken. Still haven't received a call from them. I self-treated with ice, ibuprofen and an old boot from a stress fracture years ago after seeing the results online. AND their referral said it was the third metatarsal (it is the second) on the left foot (it is the right foot). What the HELL!!?!!?

This doctor showed me the X-rays and gave me four options. Option 1 - The fracture is displaced a noticeable amount but both ends of the bone are touching and it is raised up slightly. He said it will heal on its own and probably be fine for my activity level provided I stay totally off it until it is healed. Option 2 is put a pin down from the top of my toe to mid foot but the toe won't bend at all. Option 3 is open it up and put a plate with screws but the toes will bend. Option 4 is to bend my toes straight up during surgery and put a pin (which is removed after a month) into the bone beneath my toes that will stick out and I will be totally on crutches the whole healing time. I was definitely leaning towards Option 1.

After thinking about if for a minute I said, "Okay, here's my question...." He had a fun sense of humor and says, "Oh, no, you're going to ask me what I would do if it was me or my wife." I said, "Yep, what would you recommend your wife do?" He replied, "My ex-wife or my current wife who I love?" We both laughed out loud. He went on, "My current wife would hate her toe not bending and I know she couldn't be on crutches for a month. My ex-wife maybe I'd suggest go kick a curb with it." Lots more laughter.

After some serious discussion I suggested let's do the boot and let it heal then if it doesn't we can put the plate and screws in. He told me that was a smart decision. I will wear the boot religiously and go back for an X-ray and office visit in a month. Hopefully, I'll be well on the way to recovery. If not, it will be outpatient surgery with local anesthesia. Then maybe someday I'll be injury free for awhile. Sigh....I can only hope.

Laughing so much with the doctor today got me thinking how much like my father I'm becoming. Not just dealing with several health issues but the joking. My dad used humor every time he was in ER or at the doctor. My favorite example which I know I've shared previously was the time he was in ER for something pretty serious. The nurse was working on him and the doctor was assessing him. Noticing his partially amputated foot the doctor asked, "Why did you have your foot amputated?" My father's quick reply was, "For fun!" I giggled, the nurse laughed out loud and the doctor semi-glared at all of us like we were nuts. 

In closing, I never thought I'd have something in common with Jimmy Garoppolo but, alas, I do. In case you're not a fan, he's the 49er quarterback who is my favorite player and was having a great season. Yesterday he broke his foot and will have season ending surgery. 

QUEEN OF RIDICULOUS INJURIES

Here we go, again! It seems that I am becoming the "Queen of Ridiculous Injuries". My surgically repaired shoulder is finally getting close to performing normal activities after reattaching torn tendons (caused by pushing a chair) in August. That's the good news. The bad news is that I seem to have broken a bone in my right foot after doing something crazy like sleeping all night.

I woke up yesterday morning with a fairly sore foot. At first, I attributed it to my neuropathy acting up. As the morning went on it got worse and worse. By afternoon I could barely walk. The pain was excruciating with every step I took. It was approaching the number 8 range on the hospital pain scale of 1 - 10 with 10 being the worst pain in the world. I never went higher than 7 in my previous surgeries. My son and I have discussed this surmising that a 10 would be someone cutting off your leg with a dull knife. Not that bad but this was serious pain yesterday.

This morning it was just as bad with every step causing agony. And there was a fair amount of swelling across my toes and forefoot. The decision was made that Lou would drive me to Urgent Care. Fortunately, it wasn't crowded and I was called in after 5 minutes. From there it bogged down taking 45 minutes to see the doctor. He thought I had a metatarsal sprain but ordered an X-ray to be sure nothing was broken. I was to take ibuprofen, ice it, stay off it and use a cane when I did walk for the next week to 10 days.

A few hours later I received an email that my X-ray results were online. Yep, you guessed it, the first line read, "Comminuted, mildly displaced second metatarsal fracture." I learned a new word today, 'comminuted' means more than one fracture. Well, shit. It also showed several old injuries I wasn't aware of that I won't go into here as well as "mild degenerative changes".

I wracked my brain as to how I could have broken my foot by just going to bed and think I came up with a possibility after discussing it with my best friend. It requires a convoluted explanation but here goes. I love taking hot baths in the evening and have a beautiful new bathtub in our new house. I couldn't push myself up with my right arm due to the shoulder surgery so I would turn sideways on to my knees and stand up using mostly my left arm.....until the past 3 days.

My right arm is now able to push pretty hard so I discovered I could push up with both arms getting my feet underneath me and stand up quite easily. BUT most of my body weight was on my bent toes as I stood. We surmised that due to the neuropathy any pain felt minimal but the stress just might have snapped my 72 year old bones. I told you it was kind of convoluted and I do think the term "Queen of Ridiculous Injuries" applies. And I can't think of anything else that could have caused this.

I have been referred to an orthopedic doctor that I will contact early next week. It just seems like such a stupid occurrence that makes no sense. I've decided to give up trying to make sense of it all and go with the decision that "shit happens". And at least I know that I'm not a wimp who can't deal with pain since I was walking around with a broken bone in my foot. I'll keep you posted.

MOVING, A NEW COMPUTER AND WINDOWS 11

If there is one thing I’ve learned over that past couple of months it is that I am getting too old to move an entire household and adjust to a new computer at the same time while recovering from shoulder surgery. Lou and I have decided that one or both of us will die in this house. Believe me, that is a huge relief knowing that we will not have to go through this again.

We both have a shitload of stuff that has been accumulated over the decades. The better part of the last few months has been spent packing up 41 years worth of Lou’s stuff and 20 years worth of my stuff. Neither of us can believe how we managed to fit all that stuff into a 1300 square foot house. The unbelievable part is that even with getting rid of a lot, we are barely fitting it all into our new 2400 square foot house!

The really difficult part is how much we have both struggled through this move, physically, emotionally and mentally. It seems that endless boxes have been packed and unpacked. Every time I emptied several boxes and put things away, several more miraculously appeared. We’ve been here a week and three more boxes have shown up on the counter today. Thank goodness we only moved four miles away and didn’t have to be totally out of our old house at a given time. We would be raving lunatics for sure if that was the case.

It's extra hard since I’m still limited physically with my shoulder healing from surgery two months ago. That makes poor Lou the muscle when I need to move anything even a little heavy. Another difficult element is that mentally our brains are both having a hard time keeping up with the nine thousand things we have to do and remember. Suffice it to say that I am feeling my age and I’m pretty sure Lou is, too. But we are muddling through and the place is starting to take shape. My goal is to have most everything in its place and organized by the end of the year. Knowing where it is all kept is another story.

So far, we are surviving our major move even if it is just barely. Taking a hot bath in our big, beautiful bathtub has been sheer heaven at the end of a long day. Once we are more settled and decorated, I’ll post some photos along with more details.

Now, on to buying a new computer a couple months ago. I’d like to think I’m fairly tech saavy for a 72 year old woman but it has been a challenge to get a new computer up and running. I was using Windows 7 and had to upgrade to Windows 11 which meant that my 2003 Microsoft Office CD would no longer function on my new computer. Not to mention that my new HP desktop doesn’t even have a CD drive.

Plus, I have a bone to pick with the computer geeks who design these new systems. What I used to be able to do in one or two clicks now takes three or four. For example, copy and paste used to be highlight, click to copy, click to paste. Now, it is highlight, click, select “options”, then select copy, click, select “options”, then click paste. Why??? In my humble opinion, they should leave well enough alone and not fix something that isn’t broken.

Both of us still prefer a desktop even though we are fast becoming dinosaurs in the computer age. This one has one terabyte of storage space and tons of memory to accommodate anything I’ll ever want to store for as long as I live (and am able to still work a computer).

I put off buying a new MS Office suite until after our move because I was afraid doing both concurrently may put my mind over the edge. I sucked it up and purchased a one time downloadable one. I’ve been arguing with my computer to NOT store every file I have on the “cloud” or One Drive as it is called. After an online search I finally figured out how to unlink One Drive completely. At 11:30 PM last night, I began typing this in my new Word Document and it is being stored on my own computer. Hallelujah! There is quite a sense of accomplishment in that for an old lady.

When we first hooked up my printer at the new house, it wouldn’t print. For whatever reason my printer didn’t want to talk to my computer. Maybe they had a fight in transit, who knows. At that point I really didn’t care. Anyway, that was yet another project. I decided to restart my computer when I was trying to get rid of One Drive. Low and behold, my printer started spewing out all the pages I had tried to print a few days ago. For the time being I’m happy being able to finally type a Word Doc and print it! That’s enough for one day in my book.

THEY'RE RUINING BASEBALL

For years prior to his passing my dad always bitched that "they" were ruining baseball. For him, it started with pitch counts. Suddenly a starter couldn't throw more than 80 or 90 pitches before being replaced by a reliever. Old time pitchers threw complete games routinely and didn't even know how many pitches they threw. My dad hated that they had 12 or 13 pitchers on the roster and no one to pinch hit. I'd always smile and say, "That's just how they play the game now."

Well, four years after he died, I wish I could tell him he was absolutely right - they are ruining baseball. Now I hate the new trends in the age-old game as much as he did. Here are a few of the current issues that would have my dad turning over in his grave (if he was in a grave instead of scattered over Sea Ranch in northern California with my mom):

Designated hitters - the American League has had them for years but it has been adopted throughout Major League Baseball this year. It takes a lot of strategy out of the game. Pitchers are players, too, and need to have the occasional opportunity to shine at the plate. I'll bet Madison Bumgarner (a great power hitting pitcher) is really pissed off.

Defensive Shifts - it has become common for teams to study "analytics" and put 3 infielders on one side of the field if a batter rarely hits to the other side. Or move an infielder back as a shallow outfielder. It screws up scorekeepers and potential double plays when players are out of position. And it's just not right.

Bullpen games - for some reason even with an abundance of pitchers, most teams sometimes don't have enough starters so it becomes a bullpen game. They use one pitcher every inning or two regardless of how well they pitch. It stands to reason if you play 6 or 8 pitchers one or two of them will have a bad day. it's rare that a reliever pitches more than one inning in any situation anymore.

Extra innings - they now put a runner on second base at the beginning of each half inning in a tie game after the ninth to speed up the games. It's unfair to the pitchers who didn't give up a hit to put themselves that situation. The occasional marathon game loved by true fans is a thing of the past.

Pitch com - to prevent sign stealing an electronic device (pitch communicator) is strapped to the catcher's leg and he punches in the type of pitch to throw which is transmitted to the pitcher and middle infielders through a receiver in their caps which can be set to English or Spanish. In my opinion the jury is still out on this one. Might be a helpful tool if it works right.

Position players pitching - the current trend when a game is out of hand in late innings is to put in an outfielder or catcher or whoever wants to give it a shot to pitch. They lob it up there often giving up hits, homeruns, etc. I absolutely hate this one. It is especially egregious because it makes a mockery of America's Pastime. 

Stats and Analytics - baseball has always been notorious for too many statistics and it has only gotten worse. Who cares how fast the ball left the bat or how high the homerun was? A hit is a hit and a homerun is a homerun. Managers play the numbers without taking into consideration that human beings play the games.

In closing my dad was right, they are ruining baseball with all the above changes and many others. But there is hope on the horizon since MLB just voted to make the current shifts illegal next year. A team must have two infielders on each side of second base and all infielders must have at least one foot on the infield dirt. I'm one hundred percent in favor of that rule. 

They are also adding a pitch clock giving a pitcher so many seconds to start their wind up. Another good idea which will definitely speed up the games. Both are a step in the right direction but I'm afraid baseball as all of us old folks knew and loved it is gone forever. Thank goodness we have our memories of the good old days.

SURGERY AND REHAB

 Okay, I am 14 days post shoulder surgery now. This post might not be as long as most because, as you might expect, I am one finger typing this with my left hand AND using my mouse left-handed, too. I am right-handed and not at all ambidextrous. Before I get into what I can and can't do very well at all, let me give you a quick rundown on the actual surgery.

Everything went well at my 7:30 am surgery time on August 22, thank God! I have six little incisions, the longest about 1/2", across the front, top and back of my right shoulder. My surgeon said the damage was worse than the MRI indicated but he was able "to repair it routinely". 

I was out like a light and woke up in recovery about two hours later to a busy room with lots of people running around and a special needs kid yelling loudly. My first thought was 'what the hell am I dreaming about' only to realize shortly that it wasn't a dream at all. After some water and juice, I promptly threw up before being ushered out the door with a towel and vomit bag and into my car that Lou was driving to pick me up. We arrived home around 11 am. The Vicodin knocked me out for the first two days and I slept great in my recliner nest at the end of the couch surrounded by every pillow we owned in the house.

The pain hasn't been bad at all and I was off the Vicodin on day four. Now for the fun part. Have you ever had to do 'everything', let me repeat, 'everything', with only your nondominant hand? Use your imagination when I say 'everything'. It ain’t easy. Lou has been great about helping me with 'everything'. But who wants to have your partner dressing and undressing you and washing you (under these circumstances anyway)? Plus, it feels like I've accomplished a lot by doing these things myself.

Disclaimer: Some people seem to have taken my previous posts regarding the surgery as being really upset and depressed. Not at all. I am thrilled to have it repaired with minimal pain. However, I will admit to some good-natured, tongue-in-cheek complaining regarding my numerous limitations.

There are two things that I literally cannot do AND no one I’ve asked has come up with a solution. They are pulling my hair up with a scrunchi or clip and tying athletic shoes. Both are two handed jobs. If you have any suggestions, please let me know. One friend with really long hair said she twisted and twisted it over her shoulder then held it in her teeth to grab it with a clip and sort of pull it up. Mine wasn’t long enough for that. Lou can tie my shoes fine but he struggles with scrunchis. 

I have learned to eat fairly well left-handed, can cook simple meals only having to call for help occasionally and can do a basic job on showering and grooming after two weeks of practice. I have been skipping makeup since that is a real challenge. Still need help with hair washing but I’m planning to tackle that by myself tomorrow. Any writing looks like a toddler did it so I’m foregoing that until my right arm is functional. 

By far the worst is trying to sleep. Ideally, they want me in a reclined position on my back wearing my sling and my arm supported by pillows. I have never slept comfortably on my back and still don't. I've tried to graduate to sleeping in our bed a few times but usually end up kicking my pillows down the stairs (while I have a left-handed death grip in the banister) and getting a few hours of rest in my recliner nest. I will be really glad when I can get out of the sling and sleep on my side again.

I started PT a few days ago and have three simple exercises to do a few times a day. The complete rehab will be 4 to 6 months. Only 3-1/2 to 5-1/2 months to go! YAY!

Hmmm, seems that this isn't any shorter since I discovered how helpful autocorrect on my iPad has been in writing.

THE SAGA CONTINUES

 As expected, I need shoulder surgery. It is scheduled for August 22, just 11 days from now. My gynecologist (of all people) who I respect and trust recommended an orthopedic surgeon who she says is the "best in the Sacramento area" and he specializes in shoulder injuries. He is a team doctor for the Sacramento River Cats minor league baseball team as well. I was immediately onboard.

I had a Zoom appointment with Dr. Hirahara yesterday. He asked me what is going on with my shoulder. I replied, "From what I've heard it is pretty messed up." He answered, "I would totally agree with your assessment." The surgery will be done arthroscopically as an outpatient but will require several small incisions to reach all the tears. The doctor went on to shoot down my thought of waiting until after we move in October saying that it needs to be done sooner rather than later. Since the tendon is totally detached from the rotator cuff it needs to be done before it becomes too difficult to stretch and repair.

Today was a bit of a madhouse since it went from 'okay I need surgery" to full speed ahead with preparation for doing it in a week and a half! This afternoon I had an appointment with my primary care doctor to do an EKG and exam to clear me for surgery. I have a pre-op appointment with Dr. Hirahara tomorrow afternoon then blood work in a few days. Finally I need a Covid test 3 days prior.

AND my computer decided that it was on its last legs so I bought a new one this morning. In its defense my Dell was 7-1/2 years old and running Windows 7. It started making a whirring noise that would not stop for two days and I was afraid it would crap out on me. I am typing this on my brand new state-or-the-art HP with Windows 11. There is still a ton to learn and do but all my photos and documents are downloaded along with access to most websites I use often.

What I am still pondering and wondering how the hell I am going to manage this is the recovery and rehab. I woefully under estimated how involved that would be. I will be in a sling for four weeks and am not supposed to move my shoulder or upper arm away from my body. Physical therapy will start after one week with one of the doctors preferred PTs. I will be assessed each week for months by the PT and told what to do that next week. Then there will be NO LIFTING for 4 -6 months. 

You may recall that we are moving the middle of October - two months away. Packing and moving boxes will be pretty much not allowed. I'm going to have to recruit a couple friends and relatives to help me with that. Lou will have a ton of his own packing to do. At least by then the sling will be gone.

Throughout the day numerous questions have come to mind regarding NO use of my right arm beyond moving the fingers a bit. I am right handed in case you didn't know that. My dominate hand/arm will be useless. Some questions that popped into my head.

How will I wash/shower? Baths will be out of the question.

How will I cook or eat? Lou will be helping a lot.

How will I comb my hair? Or wash my hair? 

How will I get dressed? Or undressed?  

How will I type? Or write my blogs? Or use a mouse?

How will I open wine? May need screw tops.

How will I even do the simplest things with no use of my right arm? My left arm will get strong and likely be exhausted. But how many things can you do with one arm? Let alone your nondominate arm?

There are a ton of other "how will I's" and I think of new ones constantly. I guess it will be a real learning curve. I don't want to cheat and use the arm when I shouldn't be. If I am going through all the surgery, I will damn well do what they tell me since I don't want to go through all this again. 

Everyone, including me and my doctor, are amazed that such a simple thing as pushing back a chair could do this much damage. It still boggles my mind. And the pain and limitations are still fairly minimal. 

I'll keep you posted as my shoulder saga continues. Crazy and pretty unbelievable.

MRI RESULTS

As promised here are the results of my MRI last week. There is good news and bad news.

The good news:

I am in no real pain if I'm careful and am only somewhat limited in normal day to day activities. I'm grateful for that but surprised after reading the results.

The bad news:

According to the report I have a "Full-thickness tear of the supraspinatus tendon". This is the tendon that attaches to the rotator cuff on the top of the shoulder. Full-thickness tear means complete tear.

It also shows a "Superior labral tear" which means your labrum (cartilage) is torn at the top in both the front (anterior) and back (posterior) of where it attaches to the biceps tendon. 

And finally there is a "High-grade partial longitudinal tear of the long head biceps tendon with associated tenosynovitis (inflammation of the tendon)".

It finished with a few references to mild and moderate osteoarthritis in various parts of my arm and shoulder which I know about already.

Now, I'm no doctor but it doesn't take a rocket scientist (or even an orthopedic surgeon) to surmise the meaning of the results - my arm is fucked up. After a bit of internet research and an email to my regular doctor, my above diagnosis was confirmed. I have been referred to an orthopedic surgeon but couldn't get an appointment until August 19th. Delay must be supply chain issues due to covid???

I'm expecting to hear that surgery will be needed if I want to do anything more than keep my arm fairly still and call Lou every time I need to lift something or pull something or reach something.

So, that is your shoulder anatomy lesson for the day - and what can go wrong when you do something crazy like push a chair back from the table.