I HATE LA (TRAFFIC)

Earlier this week we took a four day road trip to Southern California. I figured it was a little over 80 hours total & I swear we spent at least 20 of those hours sitting in traffic! For as long as I can remember the traffic in Los Angeles has been horrendous. If you think it is bad in Sacramento, it is a piece of cake compared to SoCal. Even the Bay Area can't hold a candle to having constant gridlock on six, eight or ten freeways in the southland at any given time.

My first recollection of LA traffic was back when I was a kid & my family drove to Disneyland. Even then, it was the classic kid's whine, "Are we there yet?" Twenty-five years later my son improved on the traditional line of frustrated kids who have spent hours in the car when he huffed & sighed saying, "Why don't we just stop driving around & go there?"

Back about 48 years ago I married a man who was from Southern California & still had family residing around the Los Angeles area. We made monthly trips down south leaving after work on Fridays & returning Sunday afternoons. After years of doing this, I really learned to hate LA, which wasn't hard. The main factor was the traffic - I won't go into some of the other reasons - you can use your imagination. Not to mention that being a life long Bay Area sports fan, hating the Dodgers & the Lakers & the Rams is just in your DNA.

Lou has taken a few trips to LA by himself to visit things that didn't interest me. After his last one about a year ago, he told me that the traffic was so bad, he swore there was no way he would drive down there again. But yet here we were sitting in god awful traffic for hours on end. It's one of those things that is like having a baby - you have to forget how truly bad it was before you are willing to do it again.

Honestly, I'm one of those people who believes that California should be divided into two states, North California & South California, just like North & South Dakota or North & South Carolina. There is no way that all the bullshit of southern California should be lumped in with our beautiful northern state.

In fairness, I can sort of see the appeal of the mild weather, the beaches & the entertainment industry. BUT just a few hours in the interminable traffic puts a real damper on the nicer things. On this trip we had tickets to a Jeopardy taping which was lots of fun. After watching a young man named Ryan win over $60,000 on three "days", all in about 2-1/2 hours with several costume changes, we drove over to the coast to Santa Monica.

It was beautiful with lovely weather. After a late lunch back in Culver City, we decided to have ice cream for dinner along the Third Street Promenade area of Santa Monica. We hopped in the car about 5:30 PM to drive the 8 miles back to our hotel. Our GPS told us that the trip would take 16 minutes. Yeah, right. We knew that wouldn't happen as we entered the gridlock of the 110 on our way to the 405. Why do southern Californians call their freeways "the 405" or "the 110"? We don't say get on "the 80" or take "the 5". That just sounds stupid.

Anyway, back on "the 110", Lou made the comment with a hint of sarcasm in his voice that we should make it back to the hotel to watch Jeopardy by 7 PM. Turns out he was wrong. It literally took us two hours to drive 8 miles during rush hour. Well, lets say it took 1-1/2 hours since I really had to pee after an hour & we spent half an hour just getting off the freeway to head into a mall where we could find a bathroom. Los Angeles is not restroom friendly unless you buy something.

We arrived back at our hotel just as Jeopardy ended. I immediately poured a glass of wine & plopped on the bed to relax. I have no idea how people do this every single day commuting to work AND then if you want to do something fun on the weekend it is the same damn thing - traffic, traffic & more traffic!

The next morning as we left for home we had to do it all again. The 405 was stop & go for miles - uh, what else is new? As the traffic began to thin through the San Fernando Valley, I sighed in relief. In another few hours we would be out of the crazy ass traffic in SoCal - & none too soon. Did I mention that I hate LA traffic???

SHERRY STRONG

Most of you know that I am a huge sports fan which includes NASCAR. Years ago Lou commented that the song, "She Don't Love Me More Than NASCAR", was perfect for me! Nah, I love him a little more. For twenty plus years my favorite driver was Jeff Gordon. Jeff retired a couple years ago so I switched my allegiance to Carl Edwards. I liked Tony Stewart, too. At the end of that year, both Tony & Carl retired. What the hell?

I had a hard time getting into NASCAR early this year. All of my favorite drivers were gone. The new rules like stage racing & time limits on repairs seemed contrived & unnecessary. I had always liked Martin Truex, Jr., who drove for one of the lesser teams that didn't stand much chance of winning consistently. But I went ahead & settled on Martin as my current favorite. He is a really good guy, a great driver & seemed to be an upstanding citizen which is more than I can say for many of the current leading drivers. There are a bunch of really young drivers who could all be my grandsons but none grabbed my fancy as a new fave.

As I learned more about Martin Truex, Jr. these past couple of years, I discovered his long time girlfriend, Sherry Pollex, & her incredible story. Three years ago, at age 35, Sherry was diagnosed with stage three ovarian cancer. Her prognosis was grim. She underwent hours of extensive surgery followed by 17 months of exhausting chemotherapy. Here is an excerpt from her website - SherryStrong.org

"But as family and friends know, Pollex has a stubborn streak and doesn’t take kindly to being told she can’t do something. With Truex Jr. and family by her side, she fought for her life, and chose a doctor who would fight alongside her. Within days, she underwent a radical hysterectomy and debulking surgery expected to last four hours that instead lasted seven grueling hours as her surgeon painstakingly removed every trace of cancer he could see with the human eye.

"During the 17 months of treatment that followed, supporters cheered her on by using #SherryStrong via social media. Each message reminded her to fight and inspired a new reason to live."

I have watched Sherry, a truly beautiful woman inside & out, these past couple of years at NASCAR races. She has been there to support Martin with her two inch blonde hair & brilliant smile every step of the way. In 2017 Martin has had a storybook year in NASCAR winning seven races (a series high) & is the front runner to win the overall championship in a few weeks.

Sherry knew that her chances weren't good but she refuses to "live by the numbers".  The rate of recurrence for ovarian cancer is 85% in the first three years. Sherry made it one year & four months before the cancer returned this past September. At home recovering from surgery when Martin won race number six, Sherry tweeted her congratulations with a photo. When talking about Sherry in the post race interview, Martin became emotional & teary at the strength & support he receives from her.

Once again following surgery, Sherry is undergoing chemo but she was present for Martin's seventh win two weeks ago. The smile of this gorgeous, courageous woman is infectious. Her bravery is inspirational. Sherry & Martin have a foundation to educate & promote cancer research. I urge you all to take a look at her website: SherryStrong.org.

My love of NASCAR has been revitalized due to Martin & Sherry. Yes, I'm cheering big time for Martin Truex, Jr. to win the NASCAR championship this year. But I'm rooting even harder for Sherry Pollex to win her fight against ovarian cancer & be there at Martin's side for years & years to come. They are an amazing, heartwarming couple who are doing great things in the fight again this horrible disease.

This is exactly why I love sports! There is so much more to sporting events than the final score or number of wins. The stories behind the competitors & their families make them the real winners - not of the race, the game or the event, but of life!

If you want to read more, here is Martin's story: https://www.theplayerstribune.com/martin-truex-jr-nascar-cancer/

MOSQUITOES - THE LITTLE SUCKERS

I do not like mosquitoes but they sure as hell like me! For as long as I can remember I have been prime meat for mosquitoes to sink their little proboscises into & draw out a little droplet of my blood. I suppose it has something to do with my skin being fair or easy to pierce or I'm just really susceptible to them. Our unusually hot fall has the little buggers out in force.

The damn little things seem to land on me & bite me without my even noticing. I rarely feel anything when they do their damage. BUT shortly thereafter, the god awful itching will drive me almost insane. I'm guessing I'm a little more allergic to them to most people because the first couple of days I form half inch welts where each bite was made. Hell, that's way bigger than the little suckers that do the biting!

Okay, this description of what happens when a mosquito bites you kind of freaked me out. I had no idea it was this creepy. Here is what I found online: "The mosquito truly is a blood-sucking machine. The thin tube the insect injects into the skin, what's called the proboscis, is actually comprised of six different needles that all work in tandem to extract blood from the body. The first two needles act a bit like teeth. The have tiny ridges at the end that help the mosquito puncture through the skin. A second pair of needles act like clamps during the blood draw, holding the skin's tissues apart to allow the last set of needles to do their work. Among these is a needle that acts like a homing beacon; it finds our blood vessels by detecting the chemicals they give off, and then slurps up the tasty blood inside. The last needle is the real jerk: it injects chemicals into our vessels to stimulate blood flow. But it's also what makes those itchy bumps appear after the mosquito gets its fill and leaves. All of these needles are shielded by a flexible sheath called the labium."  EEEEWWWW!!!!

Now, I know why my mosquito bites itch so damn bad, but I'd sure like to know how to relieve that incessant itching. Years ago I had a tube of ointment called Caladryl that seemed to help ease the itching but I can't find it anymore. It was pink & I'm assuming it was a combination of calamine lotion & Benadryl. I dug around in the cupboard until I finally found the tube. Unfortunately, the little bit that remained was hard as a rock.

Normal hydrocortisone cream only gives minimal relief at best. I bought some liquid Benadryl specifically for insect bites which advertised instant relief from itching - NOT. It turns out that my mom's old remedy of a baking soda & water paste is still the best relief. It doesn't last long but you can keep putting it on as often as needed.

I just looked up "home remedies for mosquito bites" & found lots of things to try:

Oatmeal - it contains potent antioxidants, known as avenanthremides, which reduce inflammation and may calm itch.

Ice cubes - the brain can only process one sensation at a time, hold an ice cube on the bite & the itching will stop as you feel the intense cold.

Yogurt - a great inflammation reducer & the probiotics have skin calming properties.

Aloe vera - squeeze the gel from the leaf onto the bite for its anti-inflammatory benefits.

Honey - apply it directly to the bite for its anti-inflammatory & anti-microbial properties.

Aspirin - dissolve it in water & apply the paste to the bite to calm the itching.

I found our bottle of honey & put a dab on the bite on the top of my foot. It seemed to help slightly but then I accidently rested my opposite foot on top of that one getting honey on the bottom of it. When I walked into the bathroom to wipe it off my foot was sticking to the floor. And I certainly couldn't go to bed with honey on my foot.

The ice cube thing did work temporarily. We'll see how long it lasts. I have an aspirin waiting to be soaked in water & dissolved as the next attempt to stop the fricking itching. It amazes me how a stupid, little flying insect can disrupt your life for a few days!

Does anyone else have something that will ease the crazy-ass itching?

LORNA & BILL

Over the past 40+ years as I've traveled on tours & cruises around the world, fellow travelers would exchange contact information during the trip vowing to keep in touch. In reality I've learned that very rarely happens. So much so that our last few trips I haven't even asked for or shared my email & phone number. On our recent Iceland, Greenland & Norway cruise Lou handed out his cards to our table mates. He hasn't heard from anyone yet.

There are two notable exceptions to this in my estimated sixty or so trips. One was a Carnival Caribbean cruise in March of 2016. We booked the cruise fairly late & the anytime dining choice was sold out. Lou & I normally take this option since we can often get a table for two & like to say that we prefer each others company rather than strangers. But maybe it's just because our kindergarten report cards had the "Doesn't play well with others" box checked.

We were seated at a table for eight on this cruise. It happened that Lou & I sat opposite a delightful woman named Helen & her husband, Weldon on the first evening. Helen & I hit if off like old friends, enjoyed each other's company & talked nonstop. Some of our other table mates thought we were traveling together. We did exchange info & regularly comment on each others Facebook pages but I wouldn't say that we "keep in touch" closely. Although I would love cruising with them again sometime!

The traveling companion who is still my regular correspondent after 7 & 1/2 years is Lorna. We met Lorna & her husband, Bill, from Michigan, on a Danube River Cruise for my 60th birthday. The river boat was small, I think around 200-300 cruisers. Dinner was always open seating & less than halfway through we started gravitating toward finding each other at the same table.

Lou & I were impressed that Bill was just a few months shy of his 90th birthday & here he was on a two week river cruise in Europe! If my math is correct, Lorna was about 12 or 13 years younger than him. They told us that this would likely be their last big trip. Wow, that's fantastic! I hope I'm still traveling the world at 89 years old!

A couple of things about Bill are etched in my mind. At one port in Bulgaria, the tour included a hike up to the top of a beautiful mountain. It wasn't super strenuous but it had me huffing & puffing a few times until we reached the top for the gorgeous views. As we took it all in, we turned around & there was Bill at the top! He had his little device that doubled as a cane & a three-legged seat when you unfolded it & he was enjoying the scenery as well You go, Bill!

As we conversed over dinners, Lorna pointed out that Bill had a shunt in his head to drain fluid for Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus just like my dad does. His had been caught early & really helped to reverse some of his symptoms allowing him to still enjoy traveling. Wine was included with dinner &, of course, we indulged regularly. Also regularly, Bill would knock his glass of wine over! The waiters would run over, wipe it up & pour him another one. It really endeared me to him.

But the real jewel of that trip was Lorna. She has emailed me regularly for 7 plus years, always complimenting me on my blog posts. Numerous times, she has thanked me for allowing her to travel along with us over the years or related her stories of their trip to the same places in the past. 

Sadly, Bill passed away this past February at the age of 96. Lorna has since moved to Texas to be closer to her children & grandchildren. She still keeps in touch, just recently emailing to make sure we weren't affected by the terrible wildfires in Northern California. We have really become friends over the years & I look forward to hearing from her.

I am always heartened to see an email from Lorna each time I include her in my blog post emails. It often says "sent from my iPad". How cool is that to be 80-something & sending emails from your iPad? She has told me if she stops writing it is likely because she is incapacitated or dead.

Lou & I are planning a trip to Texas next May to take in a Giants-Astros game & do some sightseeing that will take us through the town where Lorna is living. I asked her if she would like us to stop by for a visit. She was thrilled & so am I!. It's one of the things I'm really looking forward to on that trip.

GUN VIOLENCE

It is time to resurrect this post from December 2015 - almost two years have passed & nothing has changed, except perhaps that now each mass murdering lunatic feels the need to upstage the previous one. According to the FBI statistics almost 16,000 people each year are killed by gun violence in our country. When will we say "Stop"?

 

This is what I wrote two years ago:

 

Yesterday, two people armed with assault weapons killed 14 people & injured 17 more in yet another senseless mass shooting. This is happening at alarming rates in this country of ours. At some point those of us rational, appalled & disgusted citizens need to step up & say, "Enough is enough."

At this point, I'm not really sure what has to happen to stop this massacre of innocent people. If the killing of 20 elementary school children & 6 teachers in Sandy Hook, Connecticut, didn't bring the huge majority of Americans to unite & stop these horrific murders, I don't know what will. As a grandmother I just want to wrap my Charley in my arms & protect her from this evil. But I can't.

On July 4, 1983, my 81 year old Grandpa Frank & my grandmother, who we called Nannie, left my parent's house at 9:30 PM to drive home to Oakland. We spent the evening eating dinner then setting off fireworks out front. I was 33 years old with a 7 year old son who laughed along with Grandpa Frank as a ground flower "chased" his father after lighting it.

With my son in bed after a fun day of family visiting, I took the call around 10 PM from my mother that Grandpa Frank had been shot & my parents were driving to the hospital to be with Nannie. About an hour later the second call from my mother told me that Grandpa Frank was dead. He had been shot in the head at point blank range as he sat in his car outside of their house.

We could only speculate on what had happened. As always, Grandpa Frank dropped Nannie off in front of the house to go in the front door. He would then drive the car to the detached garage in the back. Nannie would unlock the back door for him. When he didn't come in after several minutes she went back to the front to find him slumped in the car covered in blood - killed seconds after she entered the house. She hurried back into the house to call 9-1-1 but we learned later that he was already dead.

Again, we all had our theories on who committed this senseless murder of an 81 year old man. My father believed it was a robbery gone bad. He still had the $80 in his wallet. My grandfather was a man who called a spade a spade & didn't take any crap from anyone. I believe that someone in the predominantly black neighborhood who he offended decided the Fourth of July was the perfect time to kill him. Whatever the reason, Grandpa Frank was dead & Nannie was a widow.

We were all scared of our own shadows for weeks. Their neighbors were terrified as to who would murder an old man & wondered if they were next. My 7 year old son couldn't comprehend that someone would kill his Grandpa Frank & to be honest, neither could I. It was a horrific time as we packed up Nannie's things. My mother wouldn't let her spend one more night in that house.

So, even though it has been more than 32 years since that traumatic night, it comes back to me every time there is another senseless killing. Only the multiple murders are reported in the news now days. The individual killings, like my Grandpa Frank, don't even warrant a few seconds on TV since they are too numerous. His killer was never found & we've done our best to move on as a family.

My thoughts are that we need to outlaw assault weapons & high powered guns - period. No one needs them. If you want a rifle to hunt, fine. If you want a handgun to protect you, fine - hell, I know how to shoot a gun & I owned one for years. BUT no one, I repeat NO ONE, needs high powered assault weapons.

It is too easy to buy guns & far too easy to take them into schools & other places to kill innocent people. Those of us who believe this is unacceptable need to stand up & say, "Enough is enough!" Write your representative & senator telling them this needs to stop now! Don't vote for the politicians who won't support gun control!

And if any of you reading this disagree & want to tell me why my views are wrong & we should all have AK-47s in our closet, please don't bother. You will never convince me & I won't listen. And maybe, just maybe, if your grandfather is killed by senseless gun violence, you won't either.

Next day note: The newspaper this morning had one line that says it all, "Yes, 14 people were killed in a horrible tragedy yesterday but there were likely also 40 other people killed by gun violence in this country." These killings barely get a mention in the local paper. This has got to stop!

MATT CAIN

Unless you are a Northern California resident or a Giants baseball fan, you probably won't completely understand this post but I'll do my best to describe it to you. Our San Francisco Giants won three World Series Championships in five years - 2010, 2012, & 2014. It was magical to be a Giants fan during that time. It still is - because the organization, the players & the fans are amazingly special. Even though our team was terrible record-wise & were working to NOT lose 100 games (which they managed to do!) these last few games were incredibly moving & emotional.

That is because one of our starting pitchers, Matt Cain, a 13 year veteran, retired at the end of this season. Yesterday he was given his final start on the mound even though he hadn't pitched in about a month. This organization does a great job of honoring its players. Matt began his Giant career as a 20 year old & played only for the Giants. It is a rarity for a player to be with one team for his entire career as a Major League ball player.

Matt was on all three World Series winning teams. His post season record was one of the best. He had some huge wins for us. Matt was always an all-around good guy. I recall a photo of him posing holding his baby daughter who is now about seven years old. Yesterday he said in an interview he wants to be "dad mom" to his two daughters & commented that if their hair doesn't look right, he did it.

Back in June 2012, Matt Cain pitched the only perfect game in Giants history. A perfect game is extremely rare. That is when a pitcher faces only 27 batters, the minimum, no one gets on base at all - no hits, no walks, no errors, no one on base. There are only 23 perfect games ever in the history of the game. My entire life I wanted to be able to witness a perfect game. 

I vividly recall watching that game on TV. As the innings wore on & still no one reached base, I called my son, my sister, my father & asked if they were all watching. They were. It is considered a superstition to never mention a no-hitter while it is in progress. We didn't know if that applied to a perfect game as well, but we all just said, "Are you watching this?" It took a few great defensive plays & unbelievable pitching from Matt to complete the first perfect game in Giants history. It is a moment I will never forget. Thanks, Matt!

Yesterday, when Matt pitched the final game in his career, even though it was a terrible season, there was an incredible amount of emotion rolling around the ball park. He completed five innings giving up only 2 hits & no runs scored by the other team when the manager took him out of the game. The crowd gave him a standing ovation when he took the mound, at the end of each inning & when he was finally finished. The moment was one of the most emotional I've seen in baseball.

Of course, I cried but that's not a good indicator since I cry at coffee & beer commercials. But Matt was teary, the announcers were wiping their eyes & most fans & players needed a tissue or two. There were hugs for Matt from every coach & player when he left the game. There was a strong, heartfelt embrace between Matt & our best pitcher, Madison Bumgarner, that lingered for many seconds which moved everyone. "There wasn't a dry eye in the stadium," our announcers commented on their hug adding, "These aren't touchy, feely guys." But for a few seconds they were.

When talking with my sister, who said she, too, was in tears for the whole thing, I wondered why this particular retirement was so emotional. I believe it is because this signals the end of the three championship era for the Giants. Maybe there will be more or maybe there won't. But this was such an unbelievable accomplishment & to have one of the icons of the Giants reign retire moved every fan to tears. His genuine love for the game, the organization & the fans came through loud & clear. Yes, winning is good, but there is so much more to the game than that. We witnessed that yesterday & today with the celebration of Matt Cain.

OUR ROCK STAR

Today I was in Hayward helping Darrin clean his old apartment & take the final couple of car loads to his new duplex - close by, smaller, quieter & much less expensive! While looking through some of Charley's toys & hanging up her princess dresses, I was reminded of a fun time we shared this past summer.

My granddaughter has quite the imagination. I spent the afternoon with her at our house in Sacramento while her dad was at a meeting & Lou was volunteering at the airport. Charley decided that she wanted to have "a rock star party" when everyone returned home.

I quizzed her on what we needed to do to have this rock star party. She told me that she would sing a song & we had to make a stage. Our house has a staircase to the upstairs bedroom that goes up 7 steps to a landing before making a 180 degree turn to continue another 6 steps up to our bedroom. The landing was to be the stage.

We spent close to an hour figuring it all out. I had made her a long princess dress that she would wear for her performance. We tied her lighted snowflake wand from "Frozen on Ice" to the banister so that it shined on the landing with sparkling, multi-colored lights. A green tablecloth was stretched across the landing to make a curtain that would be dropped when the rock star appeared. Beads, leis, flowers & any number of other decorations were strewn up & down the stairs.

Charley wanted Lou to sit at the bottom of the stairs & play his "kitar" while Charley sang. I love how she always calls a guitar, a "kitar". There were lots of words that Darrin mispronounced as a child but Charley rarely does.

When Lou arrived home first, Charley briefed him on his part & they did a quick rehearsal. Charley said, "We need a microphone." Lou replied, "I have a microphone." I had no idea we had a microphone. Turns out, it was a relic - a microphone with a cord! But it was a microphone never the less & did the job just fine.

When Daddy arrived home, it was SHOWTIME! Stagehand, lighting director & announcer, AKA Gaga, & Charley went up the stairs then stretched the curtain/tablecloth across the stairway. Lou took his position at the bottom of the stairs with his "kitar". Charley stepped into position behind the curtain. Gaga turned on the flashing lights of the wand & announced, "Ladies & gentlemen, we are proud to have one of the biggest rock stars in the country with us tonight. So without further delay, I present to you CHARLEY ELLEN!"

I dropped the corner of the curtain to reveal Charley in her princess gown holding her microphone. The crowd went wild with applause & yelling. To my total surprise Charley sang a song that she made up about stars in the sky. She went on & on singing a few different lines that all talked about the night sky with all the stars. It was just beautiful! We were all blown away!

When the performance ended, everyone clapped & cheered loudly. Darrin said, "Wow, Charley! Did you make that song up all by yourself?" Both Charley & I answered, "Yes." Darrin looked at Lou & said, "When she is a famous singer & songwriter, you can say you accompanied her in her debut on your stairs back in 2017!"

It was such a joy to remember this special time with my beautiful granddaughter today. These sorts of things are my favorite times with my Charley. When we make up something totally out of our heads & then follow it through, I love it. I can only imagine that as she gets older the shows will get better & better. Can't wait to make more memories with the light of my life!