MOVIE NIGHT

What type of movies do you enjoy? I like movies that either make me feel good or make me think or make me laugh. And if it is too violent for children, it’s too violent for me. I don’t mind bad language or a little sex in movies but I’m not a fan of anything scary, dark or intense. I much prefer to watch a movie for a little fun escapism from daily life.

The other day I wondered what would be my top five favorite movies? I didn’t put any genres on them, new or old, comedy or drama. Just write down the first five that came to mind. Surprisingly, it was remarkably easy. I do apparently have five favorite flicks. Oddly enough, they are all over the spectrum. So, in no particular order here are my top five favorite movies of all time. What are yours?

1. Bridges of Madison County

I know, I know. This is a real chick flick but, oh, how I love this movie. To me, it was so thought provoking on so many levels depending on where I was in my life. The love story of Francesca & Robert over three days that lasted a lifetime is enthralling. When Lou & I visited Iowa, I HAD to see the real Bridges of Madison County…..and I wasn’t alone. Other women there were wandering around in awe & the men were thinking, “What the hell is this about?”

2. The Big Chill

Being a product of the 60s, this movie talks to me. I love all the quirky characters. I can’t imagine “loaning” my husband to one of my best friends to conceive a child for her. But the camaraderie of friends with a history is appealing & this movie has a fantastic soundtrack! My favorite scene is when they are all putting food away after dinner, clearing the table & loading the dishwasher while dancing around the kitchen to “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg” by the Temptations.

3. Rainman

I’ve been a fan of Tom Cruise ever since he strutted & lip-synced to “Old Time Rock ‘n Roll” in his skivvies in Risky Business (although he has gotten a little weird lately). It was the offbeat storyline & the relationship that developed between autistic Charlie Babbit & his brother Raymond on a cross country trip that drew me into this feel good film.

4. Beverly Hills Cop

This has to be one of the best comedies in forever. It showcases the talents of Eddie Murphy perfectly! The supporting cast was wonderful, too – I loved Taggert & Rosewood. My son & I watched this movie many, many times. He had the entire thing memorized & would do every character flawlessly along with Axel Foley. The scene where Axel is getting the Beverly Hills Hotel clerk to give him a room is hysterical.

5. Sunset Boulevard

This old black & white film starring Gloria Swanson & William Holden is captivating. Who can forget the immortal line of fading silent movie star Norma Desmond saying, “I’m ready for my close up Mr. DeMille?” There are so many things that were ahead of its time – such as an older woman taking a younger lover. The over the top acting that was part of a bygone era really add to the overall effect of this classic.

A NEW PERSPECTIVE ON CHRISTMAS

Have you ever looked at a decorated Christmas tree, from underneath it, through the eyes of a three year old? Me, neither…until last week.

I arrived for my weekly Charley visit at their home near Auburn.  Due to a nasty cold that I did NOT want to pass on to anyone, I had missed the previous week’s visit. This was the first time I had seen their Christmas tree. As Charley & her mom greeted me at the door with hugs, I noticed the tree in the living room.

“Oh, wow!” I exclaimed, “There’s your Christmas tree!!”

“NO…NO…GAGA!!  STOP…NO!” Charley hollered at me holding out her arms to block my entrance into the room.

I immediately stopped, stepped back & said, “Okay, okay. What? What did I do?”

“Mommy, turn on the lights. Turn on the lights!” Charley didn’t want me to see the tree until the lights were on to get the full effect.

Mommy plugged in the lights & I was now free to gush over their beautifully decorated Christmas tree. Charley laid on her back & scooted under the tree which was about 15 inches above the floor. She then commanded me to join her, “Gaga, you do it, too. Lay down here.”

Gaga is usually game for most anything that Charley wants me to do although some things do require a little modification for Gaga’s limited flexibility & age limitations. J  But this was tame compared to some of Charley’s requests so I laid down on the ground & scooted up beside her under the tree.

You know what? It really was pretty cool looking up through the branches with the lights glowing & ornaments reflecting the lights. It was a totally new perspective on viewing a decorated tree that I had never experienced in my 64 years! And, I’ll be darned if my three year old granddaughter didn’t show it to me.

A couple weeks prior to that day I watched Charley at my dad’s house for several hours while her mom hosted a book party for her Barefoot Books business. Charley’s Auntie Masha is taking care of my dad (AKA Pop) & my sister, Karen (AKA Zizi), was coming to visit also. I had put up my dad’s little artificial tree & decorated it the day before but I saved the string of lights to put up around two walls of his house for everyone to help.

Charley helped me pull them from the box & untangle the strings. Auntie Masha was on the ladder draping them over the curtain rods & Zizi was on the back of the couch thumbtacking them to the wall. I looked over & Charley was also on the back of the couch holding the string for Zizi. What a great little helper!

The finished product was actually quite breathtaking. All of the lights & the tree were plugged into an extension cord in the outlet which is controlled by a wall switch. I showed Charley how to turn them all on & off with one flick of the switch…which she did many, many times. Now, it is her job to turn on Pop’s Christmas lights when she comes to visit.

Christmas through the eyes of a three year old is an enlightening experience. It has been more than 25 years since we’ve had a child to help us celebrate & it puts a whole new twist on the holiday. I love it!

SLEEPLESS IN SACRAMENTO

I can’t possibly be the only person with this problem, can I? It can be 10:30 PM, I’m watching a TV show that I really enjoy (Nashville, The Good Wife) & I’m falling asleep on the couch. I mean I literally can’t keep my eyes open. I go upstairs to bed, lay down & I am instantly wide awake. I don’t go to sleep for an hour or more. It’s crazy!

Or I know that I should get at least 7-8 hours sleep (even though I function perfectly well on 5-6 hours). So, I go to bed at 11:30 PM figuring I’ll get some good sleep since I’ve got a nasty cold right now only to still be wide awake at 1:00 AM. Damn it! That’s what happened tonight, which is exactly the reason that I am up writing this at nearly 1:30 AM.

Pretty much all of my adult life, I have had difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep. Apparently my grandmother suffered from the same thing years ago & my sister sometimes has similar sleep issues. We comment that we sleep well about every third night. It even seems that my Charley Ellen doesn’t fall asleep quickly or easily. Guess it is something that runs in the family. It kind of makes you want to just slap those people who are asleep two minutes after their heads hit the pillow.

I know that once I had Darrin my sleep patterns changed dramatically. Prior to his birth, I think someone could have torn down the house around me & I’d have slept through it. Since then, my child turning over & sighing would wake me up! Once that nurturing gene kicks in I don’t think a woman gets many nights of sound sleep again. It doesn’t seem to matter that Darrin will be 39 in a few months & has been out of the house for 18+ years!

The sleeplessness really began to surface 24 years ago when my mother was dying of cancer, my dad was in denial of what was happening & my 14 year old son was losing his beloved grandmother. I was doing my damndest to hold it all together. My sleep diminished to barely a few hours a night. I would toss & turn. I would tell myself I needed to sleep if I was going to handle this. Yet I would lay awake night after night. After her death the wide awake nights continued. Finally I simply gave myself permission to lay awake all night if that is what I needed to do. It didn’t change the fact that I needed more sleep but it sure was a powerful path to acceptance.

Lou & I watched part of a two hour show on PBS the other night called “Sleepless in America”. It tried to find answers as to why much of America doesn’t get the required sleep necessary to function efficiently. There was one relatively quick point that pretty much explained my predicament. The narrator said that there are some people whose brains simply don’t turn off at night allowing them to get the sleep they need.

That is exactly my problem! Although I’m not too upset about it because I often come up with amazing ideas & perfect solutions to problems or issues at 3 AM. My brain just kicks into gear & starts whirling around with all kinds of thoughts. I’d say that maybe twice a year I will sleep through the entire night without awakening to go to the bathroom. Sometimes I can go back to sleep fairly quickly but many times I lay back down &, bam, the thoughts start coming fast & furious. Yep, my brain just doesn’t turn off at night!

This isn’t something new, it has happened to me for 20+ years that I’m aware of….& I’ve come to think of it as a blessing rather than a curse. You wouldn’t believe the things that pop into my head in the middle of the night. Solutions just seem to materialize out of nowhere. And consequently, I’ve solved a shit-load of problems with my overactive brain.

So, please, how many of you have similar middle of the night, can’t sleep issues? I know there are a few of you because I see Facebook posts at 3:17 AM. As much as I’d love to get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep each night, that just ain’t in the cards for me. But I figure it’s served me pretty well so far. And now, here it is 1:54 AM.

Oh, well, there is an old Bon Jovi song titled, “I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead”. Sounds like a plan!

LET IT GO

There is an amazing phenomenon sweeping our nation – little girls are obsessed with the Disney animated movie “FROZEN”. Even though the movie was released a year ago, it is still going strong. Stores are overloaded with "FROZEN" merchandise. The Academy Award winning song “Let It Go” sung by Idina Menzel has little girls breaking into song at the drop of a hat.

The movie & the song are such powerful messages for young girls (& women of all ages). You are strong, you are capable & you are amazing just as you are. After trying to be the perfect girl hiding her powers of freezing things for years Elsa is finally letting it go & being herself. “It’s time to see what I can do. To test the limits & break through.” What an inspiration for girls everywhere. Even if you don’t have children, I highly recommend watching the movie.

My granddaughter, Charley, is one of "FROZEN'S" biggest fans. I’ve watched the DVD with her three times so far – she knows many of the lines & sings along with all of the songs. She just turned three years old & she literally knows all of the words to “Let It Go”. And it is not an easy song to learn. I downloaded it & listened to it at least 20 times on the ride into my dad’s a few months ago in order to learn the lyrics.

Charley will suddenly start singing out of the blue –

“The snow glows white on the mountain tonight.

Not a footprint to be seen.

A kingdom of isolation.

And it looks like I’m the queen.”

She’ll walk around the house & really get animated as she stomps her foot, spreads her arms wide & sings at the top of her lungs –

“Here I stand in the light of day.

Let the storm RAGE....O-N-N-N-N-N!

The cold never bothered me anyway.”

My Charley is not alone. The other day in the grocery store, I suddenly became aware of a little voice singing, “Let it go, let it go. Can’t hold it back anymore.” I looked around & there she was, about 4-5 years old sitting in the shopping cart just singing away while her daddy picked out tomatoes! There is a precious video making the rounds on social media of a dark-haired little girl in her car seat singing the entire song with her daddy joining in.

Last night I picked up Charley & her parents at the airport after spending Thanksgiving in New Mexico with Allison’s family. Charley requested “Let It Go” on the car CD player. She & I sang along with it in the back while the “adults” chatted in the front seat. Here’s a little secret for you – I can’t sing worth a damn & THE ONLY place I will even attempt to sing is with my little sweetie.

My son, Darrin, is a pilot & he loves flying. Nothing fazes him in the air & I think in his opinion the bumpier the ride, the better. He related the story that there was a lot of turbulence on the flight so the pilots had the flight attendants take their seats, too.

Charley was listening to “Let It Go” on the iPad with her little pink headphones on just belting out the song as the plane bounced all around the sky! She wasn’t the least bit scared & hit all the notes with gusto! Darrin said they received several comments (I’m pretty sure they were all positive) from other passengers once they were all safely on the ground. Darrin said, “I just thought, that’s my girl!” There’s something special about little girls, daddies & “Let It Go”.

AIN'T THAT THE WAY

During my dad’s year long ordeal with a partial foot amputation & many hospitalizations, there were lots of times when things had to be done quickly. He had numerous surgeries & procedures, both inpatient & outpatient at several different hospitals.

Since I am the “DIC” – my terminology for Daughter In Charge – most of the planning, implementing & overseeing fell to me. During this time I had to go to my dad’s safe deposit box at his bank to retrieve his Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care Wishes. About the third time of having to do this, I simply kept the papers at his house to make life a little easier for me. I noticed at the time that there was hardly anything left in the safe deposit box anymore & wondered if he should just get rid of it.

Time went on, the foot began slowly healing & suddenly my dad was totally on board with moving up here closer to us, Praise the Lord. The stress – physically, mentally & emotionally – was taking a toll on me but I knew there was an end in sight once the old house was sold, the new house purchased & he was moved.

A few weeks before the scheduled move I decided to go take everything out of the safe deposit box & close it out. I went into his bedroom where the keys are ALWAYS kept, hanging over the ear of a strange looking kangaroo figurine on his dresser. BUT they weren’t there. Both keys were on the same key ring with nothing else except the tag with the box number. I looked all over the top of the dresser, but no keys. Shit!

I knew I was the last one to use them when I took the Power of Attorney papers out sometime in the past six months. I pulled the dresser out, looked behind it – no keys. I was pretty sure that they were either in a purse I had used or the pocket of one of my jackets. I figured they had to turn up before long.

At home I pulled every old purse out of the closet & looked in each one with no luck finding the keys. Then I started checking jacket pockets – no keys. Shit, again! I knew it was totally my fault & told my dad that I would pay the cost of lost keys since I’m the one who didn’t put them back. In my defense, it was a crazy, hectic time….but still, my “bad” & no one else’s. My dad completey understood & said he would pay for it.

I went to the bank expecting maybe $25 per key, but was hit with an expensive surprise - $125 to drill out the lock (in mine & a bank employee’s presence)! I asked, “What if I don’t want anything left in the box?” All I could remember seeing was an expired passport & a couple of birth certificates which could easily be replaced if needed. Unfortunately, the only way to avoid the fee was to close all of his accounts, open new ones at another bank & just not pay the renewal fee. But that meant changing all kinds of automatic payments or deposits & getting new checks in the midst of the moving chaos. My dad said, “Just pay the damn money!”

The day before he moved I was at the bank to drill out the safe deposit box. It took all of about five minutes including some chit chat along the way. The pink slip for his car was about the only thing of value in the box & I’m betting that could have been replaced for a whole lot less than $125.

Anyway, it really irked me that they charged so much but my dad was okay & I had pretty much forgotten about it – until today. It was a chilly day so I grabbed a bright pink fleece jacket that I rarely wear but it matched the pink in my paisley top perfectly. As I put my hands in the pockets while walking into the store, guess what I found? Yep, the safe deposit box keys! Not sure how I missed checking that one, but I did. Shit!

LIKE GAGA, LIKE CHARLEY

My amazingly adorable three year old granddaughter, Charley, loves to line things up. It is almost like it is her job in life to make sure things are arranged in an orderly fashion. Anything & everything needs to be precisely placed in a line.

She will take every block out of the container & carefully set them in a long line on the carpet. This is always done one at a time. And she will walk all the way around the line of blocks to lay the next one in its proper place. It can take a fair amount of time to exactly place each item when the line is eight feet long.

I walked in their house the other day to find three rows of magazines, probably twenty in all, carefully lined up in perfect rows. If we do a puzzle, she will line up each piece as she removes it. Any toys with numerous parts will eventually be arranged in a straight line with careful precision.

She received a set of six small airplanes from the movie “Planes” for her birthday. The first thing she did was start lining them up on the couch. When I reached to straighten one a little, Charley said, “No, Gaga! Leave it!” She has her way of doing it & that is the way it is going to be. It is a cute little idiosyncrasy that we have all come to love & accept about her.

We just moved my dad up here closer to us a few weeks ago. Circumstances all came together which made Allison’s sister, Masha, available to care for my dad so she has moved in with him. Last week she purchased an exercise device. As she sat on the floor to assemble it, Masha took each part from the box setting it neatly on the floor, she looked at me & said, “I feel like Charley.”

The next day as I was organizing my dad’s kitchen cabinets, I suddenly realized something. I was carefully lining up his glasses in the cupboard. The small ones on the right, medium in the middle & large to the left – all in neat rows. Our cupboards at home are arranged exactly that way with everything in its place.

As I thought about it I discovered quite a few interesting facts about myself.

I had carefully placed the liquid hand soap, sanitizer & lotion in a line on the sink with the pumps all facing the same direction.

When I was eating a handful of pretzel sticks at my dad’s, I purposely placed them all in a line on the napkin.

Although I don’t mind a little clutter & many things (my desk, for instance) may appear disorganized & haphazard looking, I do know exactly where things are. But as I continued to observe my various little peculiarities regarding placement of things I found more examples.

I have a rack on the kitchen wall that holds nine coffee mugs. Each mug has its own hook according to size or color & I ALWAYS put them back the same way. When Lou empties the dishwasher & puts my mugs in the “wrong” place, I compulsively change them back.

When I was working at Stiles in Travel, there was always a jar of M & Ms available. If I took a handful, I invariable lined them up according to color then would proceed to eat them one at a time keeping the rows even.

What suddenly dawned on me a few days ago was – Oh…My…God…Charley must get this little quirk of precisely lining things up from me! And I don't mind one little bit. J

Like Gaga, Like Charley.

IT'S ALL PART OF THE ADVENTURE

You know how some times things just all come together for a great day? Things aren’t necessarily all easy or perfect but at the end of the day, you have a warm fuzzy feeling. Yesterday was one of those for me.

It began with me in at my dad’s. We had plans to bring him up to Sacramento for a family pool party at our house. He hadn’t seen Darrin, Allison or Charley in several months due to all his medical issues with the partial foot amputation. This was his first big social outing & his new caregiver, Nancy, rode along with us since it is not easy to maneuver him around.

This was also the first time most of the family would meet Darrin & Allison’s exchange student, Eva, here from Spain. And of course, the star of the show, our adorable little Charley Ellen, would be there. Charley has some new “floaties” that allow her to go all over the pool by herself. She has turned into a real little swimmer!

Lou had kept the cover on which made the pool a wonderfully warm 87 degrees & the weather was in the low 90s – perfect for swimming! My dad sat in the shade with a beer & watched while visiting with a couple of the non-swimmers. We had a hard time getting Charley out of the pool for lunch but she finally complied.

Awhile ago I had made brownies for dessert when Charley & family were over here. She loves her sweets, especially chocolate which made them a big hit. The next time they were over she finished her meal & looked at me exclaiming, “Brownie!” I had to explain that I didn’t make brownies this time & placated her with some ice cream. This time when she asked I had brownies for dessert!

Our sliding glass door to the backyard hasn’t worked properly for years but Lou & I know to only slide it to about ½” from fully closed since his family had been locked outside once a long time ago while we were on vacation. It is hard to move & when you slide it shut hard, the latch can move forward. Well, my sister didn’t know that & came back outside muscling the door closed. I’m sure you all know what is coming next – I went to go in the house & couldn’t budge the door. Uh, oh, locked out – & we were all outside.

Lou, Steve & Darrin tried to lift the heavy door out of the track to no avail. They all tried various ideas but nothing worked. Finally Darrin made an announcement, “The real problem here is that the beer is inside & we are all outside.” Leave it to my son to properly analyze the situation!

My father says, “We’re not really locked out, are we?” My sister replied, “Yes. We are.”

Fortunately, Lou had the lock off the gate so we could get to the front door BUT we had diligently locked it after everyone arrived. We had our backup plan to call his dad who has an opener for our garage. I did have my phone outside with his number in it since neither Lou nor I have it memorized. Finally, Lou was able to get the side window out of its track & climb in through that. Nova, our cat, was sleeping below the window & looked up at him like, “What the hell?” We now had access to the beer, bathrooms & a cool house for those tired of the heat.  It’s all part of the adventure! J

Meanwhile Charley was back in the pool with her mom but everyone was heading inside. I said, “Let’s go inside, Sweetie,” she replied, “Not right now.” Finally, I tried a new tactic, saying, “Charley, will you come in & play with me? I really want to play with the toys.” She immediately said, “Okay,” & started for the pool steps.

I drove my dad back to his house arriving about 5 PM. He was tired but had a wonderful day. I’m guessing that he thanked me at least five times for taking him up to Sacramento. I had driven him 100 miles up here, 100 miles back & decided to rest for 20 minutes then hop in my car & drive home – 100 miles, again! Fortunately, the Sunday traffic was all going the opposite way back to the Bay Area. After a stop at Mickey D’s, I was back home, yet again, by 7:30 PM.

These types of days are ones that just soothe my soul. Everyone had a great visit. I slept better than I’ve slept in ages. We have a fun story to tell about being locked out of the house. Plus I get to see my Charley two more times this week! It doesn’t get much better.