ON A MISSION

Do you ever get somewhat obsessed with a relatively small task that seems to snowball into something that absolutely HAS to be done & it has to be done NOW? I sure hope that a few of you do because otherwise I'm going to feel like a complete nutcase if I'm the only one who goes off the deep end trying to accomplish something that really isn't all that important in the overall scheme of things.

Basically, I've been on a mission these past 3 days to find something similar to the long forks that my parents had back when I was a kid. They were used to roast marshmallows or hot dogs over the barbecue or campfire. There was a red, wooden handle about 18" long with a metal fork, also about 18" long, that slid into the handle making a 3 foot long tool to safely roast the perfect marshmallow.

Over the years they were passed down & I ended up with a couple of these forks as an adult. Now, remember, I first recall using them when I was a kid. That would make them close to 60 years old. Even 20 years ago they were showing a lot of wear but they were family relics. My son roasted many marshmallows on those forks, too. Somehow, they have disappeared, or more likely my ex-husband got them in the divorce.

Darrin & Charley are coming up here for a long Fourth of July weekend to swim, play & shoot off fireworks which are legal here in Sacramento. We are all having a pool party on Sunday with my sister, her husband, my father & his caregiver. Charley has discovered that toasting marshmallows is fun & yummy. So, I decided to get the ingredients to make s'mores for dessert. We will roast them over the barbecue to enjoy a delicious all American treat.

BUT we didn't have any long forks like the old, worn out red ones from years past. I had stopped at a couple stores with no luck at all. I would ask the clerk for "a long fork to roast marshmallows so you don't burn yourself or catch something on fire." Everyone knew exactly what I was looking for but no one had them. I looked online but my searches didn't turn up anything close to what I was looking for.

Yesterday, I decided to make this a true mission & went to Home Depot, Target, Walmart, Lowe's & a few other stores with no luck. Last night I sat down at my computer determined to figure out where I could buy these damn long forks that everyone knew about but didn't carry. This was when it became an obsession!

Finally after at least an hour on the internet, I discovered what they are called - "marshmallow roasting sticks"! When you type "marshmallow roasting sticks" in the search bar, suddenly you find all kinds of amazing devices to roast marshmallows. They come in colors! They retract! They have some that can roast several at a time! They have ones with a small knob to rotate with your thumb for even browning! Who knew?

Now, my problem was that I could order any number of super cool marshmallow roasting sticks online but they wouldn't arrive in time for our pool party on Sunday since it was only two days away. I was more determined then ever to find a store at which to buy them. It wasn't like I didn't have at least ten things I needed to get done instead of traipsing all over Sacramento & Placer Counties looking for these things. But I didn't care, I HAD to have those damn sticks for my Charley to roast her marshmallows for s'mores!

After grocery shopping & lunch with a friend today, I decided to let "my fingers do the walking" - remember that ad campaign? This afternoon (Friday) I called REI - theirs were $12.95 each. I don't think so. Big 5 didn't have any. Bass Pro Shop connected me to the camping department where the woman told me they have several different types in stock that range from $4 each to $10 each. Hallelujah! I was on my way in five minutes.

I am now the proud owner of two state of the art marshmallow roasting sticks that have wooden handles, a retracting metal fork & the little knob that allows you to rotate the fork part with your thumb. I have a bag of marshmallows, a box of graham crackers & six Hershey bars at the ready for my entire family to make some kick ass s'mores on Sunday. Hmmm, maybe Charley & I will test them out tomorrow to make sure they taste good. I guess you can roast a marshmallow over an electric stove, right? I'll let you know.

Happy Fourth of July!

WARRIORS WIN!!!

Even though I have lived in Sacramento for 14 years, I still consider myself a born & raised Bay Area girl. The first 51 years of my life were spent in the East Bay. Those of you who know me are aware that I am a total sports fanatic. There is quite an array of local sports teams to cheer for in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Tonight our Golden State Warriors won their second NBA Championship in the past three years! And barring any major injuries, it sure looks like they have a great chance to win several more. Many experts are calling them a "super team" with more talent than any others in recent history. Time will tell on that one. But for now they are the best & they are fun to watch!

Last year I bought Charley & myself Warriors shirts to wear during the playoffs. Unfortunately, they were beaten in The Finals by the Cleveland Cavaliers (who they beat this year!) after posting the most wins in regular season history. That record lost its luster when they couldn't complete the championship victory. But this year they weren't going to lose having acquired yet another super star in Kevin Durant to compliment Steph Curry, Klay Thompson & Draymond Green.

My son, Darrin, wanted a four generation warrior photo wearing our shirts. He brought his extra large giveaway shirt from last year's playoff game that he attended for my dad to wear. We all watched the first finals game together. Lou was our photographer for what Darrin called the "Four Generation Dub Nation" collection.

Here we are before the first victory! Four generations of Warrior's fans - ages 5 to 88!

Darrin has been adding photos to Facebook this past couple of weeks. Those of you on Facebook have probably already seen these but I know many of you aren't & wanted to share them.

We were all optimistic that the Warriors would emerge victorious & took this photo before the first game. Tonight Darrin put it on Facebook as the Warriors won the NBA Championship & became "Number One!"

We have been so blessed to be sports fans in the San Francisco Bay Area. If my memory & Wikipedia are correct here are the various championships dating back to the early 70s. It's been quite a ride!

Oakland Athletics - I was a huge fan when the A's moved here in the late 60s. They won three World Series in 1972, 1973 & 1974, adding one more in 1989 when they beat the San Francisco Giants in the "Earthquake Series".

Oakland Raiders - This is the only Bay Area team that I really don't like (okay, I hate them!) It all stems from my dislike of their previous owner, Al Davis. And the fact that their fans tend to be thugs. But they still won Super Bowls in 1977 & 1981.

San Francisco 49ers - Their run of five Super Bowl victories in 1982, 1985, 1989, 1990 & 1995 was the highlight of my Bay Area sports fandom. After so many years of bad teams & tough losses those wins were pure heaven. I swore I would never complain again after what they did in the Bill Walsh/Joe Montana era. I haven't complained but I've had to bite my tongue a lot.

San Francisco Giants - I recall my dad taking me to Giants night games at Candlestick Park when it was freezing cold back in the early 60s. Lou was a huge Giants fan & since I met him 16 years ago, I've reverted back to the old days & am once again a total Giants fan. Their three World Series wins in 2010, 2012, & 2014 have been amazing. We try to plan a trip each year around seeing the Giants play in other cities. So far we are at 10 & counting.

Golden State Warriors - Now our Warriors have joined the cavalcade of Bay Area sports championship teams. We attended Warrior games when they were lousy even purchasing mini-season tickets back when Darrin was around 13. The current Warriors players & coaches are amazing. I can't wait to see what this Bay Area team accomplishes in the years to come! 

A fun thing to do: If you haven't seen it, go to YouTube & search "Steph Curry Carpool Karaoke". I defy anyone not to grin while watching Steph sing "Moana" & "Love is an Open Door" with James Corden.

PERSPECTIVES ON AGING

"I yam what I yam & that's all what I am, I'm Popeye the Sailor Man.

I'm strong to the finich, 'cause I eats my spinach, I'm Popeye the Sailor Man!"

Those of you who are around my age might remember the old "Popeye, the Sailor Man" cartoons from the 50s & 60s or earlier (if not, you can just go ahead & think I'm a little off my rocker - which I am). For some reason that old song that Popeye always sang after he ate his can of spinach & made short order of the bad guys has always stuck in my head. The whole thing was completely politically incorrect but most things were back then.

This evening it was the "I yam what I yam" part that had my mind spinning in regards to my "Thoughts on Aging" blog post last week. I heard from a lot of you - mostly women - in response to that blog who were feeling the same things. Apparently, there is quite a camaraderie between all of us old folks as we make our way through senior citizenship.

I so much want to be okay with the years adding up, with a few extra pounds & with some more wrinkles. I want to say to myself, "I am what I am", AND, here's the trick, really believe it. Our world is so geared to youth & vitality & wanting to look like a super model - not that I ever did but somewhere inside, I felt it. Years ago I recall Tyra Banks on a campaign to stop the unrealistic goals of young girls & women saying, "They think everyone should look like Tyra Banks. Hell, most of the time I don't even look like Tyra Banks."

My hope is that all of us "fourth quarter women" can truly say "I am what I am" & be proud of the fact that every ache, every pain, every wrinkle, every pound, every gray hair, every year was born of a lot of life well lived & a ton of people well loved.

My Charley doesn't care if Gaga has an extra roll or two around her middle when we snuggle up under a blanket to watch TV or read. She doesn't think twice if the selfie we take shows Gaga's wrinkles under her chin. She cares about the love & comfort & safety she feels with Gaga's arms around her.

My Darrin doesn't care that his mom has most definitely turned into a grandma over the years - at least I don't think he does. He cares that I am there for him unconditionally, always, for anything. He posted some wonderful Mother's Day thoughts & photos on my Facebook page which warmed my heart more than he knows, reinforced my beliefs & made me cry. If you haven't seen them, check out my Facebook. 

My Lou would love it if I wasn't turning into an old lady before his eyes but I hope that he, too, accepts that time does indeed take its toll on each one of us. He still gives me heartfelt cards for every occasion & tells me he loves me daily after almost 16 years together. Sharing a history with each other is what matters.

The point I want to make is that I believe each of these three most precious people in my life love me for who I am on the inside, not the outside. I can't control the outside or the passing of time, but I can control the caring & loving from the inside. As I've aged I think my capacity to love has increased tremendously. Grandchildren give you a perspective on unconditional love & aging that nothing else can.

As time ticks by, I will do my best to embrace every single sign of aging - wrinkles, aches, pounds, gray hair - because although it may all show on the exterior, on the inside I still feel young, vital & thrilled to be a part of this wonderful life. Somewhere inside there remains a fucking amazing super model that is grinning from ear to ear & thinking, "Eat your heart out Tyra Banks! You aint' got nothing on me, girl. I yam what I yam!"

THOUGHTS ON AGING

This was actually written three days ago but I will leave it as it was when I typed these words that evening.

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I am feeling old tonight & let me tell you, it is not a lot of fun. I am 67 years old. It seems that in the past I could always justify the fact that my current age wasn’t really that old. When you are 45, it’s easy to say, hell, I’m only halfway through this life. Or when you are 50, everything still seems to work okay & you can do most things - & you still look pretty damn good in a bathing suit. Even 55 doesn’t seem all that old. But, son of a bitch, there is no way to convince yourself that 67 isn’t THAT old. Shit, I’m already seven years older than my mother when she passed away.

Tonight's melancholy was brought on by the death of an old friend of forty plus years from my skydiving days. Dave & I had reconnected a little over a year ago via Facebook & email. Like me (& most people our age), Dave didn’t sleep worth a damn. Many nights we would exchange emails in the wee hours of the morning. Dave was in his early 70s & I knew he was battling cancer.

Lou & I took a road trip to Virginia City, Nevada, about two hours away, & spent the day with Dave & his wife last October. It was a great visit & brought back lots of good memories for me. While undergoing chemo, his emails got shorter & less frequent. Dave was always a happy-go-lucky guy so I suspected that things weren’t going well. I found out tonight that he passed away.

My dad always says that all his friends have died. I’ll be damned if that isn’t starting for me now. Dave is the fourth skydiving friend who has died this past year! And three of them were either my age or just a few years older.

As always my mind tends to have a mind of its own. Once the loop starts going around in my brain, I can’t stop it. Things like realizing that in 20 years I will be 87 make me head to the kitchen for another glass of wine! Twenty years is not very long. Charley will be 25 & Darrin will be 61. Those things just boggle my mind. And, of course, that is assuming that I make it well into my 80s. Time is running out. I've heard the analogy comparing a life time to the four quarters of a football game. I am definitely in the fourth quarter of the game.

Looking at my dad’s health at age 88 or Lou’s dad at age 92 & it really hits home at how limited I will likely be in 20 years. Seeing how much Bruni declined before her passing last December at age 89, makes me wonder how many “good” years I’ve got left. And that scares the shit out of me. Where did these 67 years go? I vividly recall the birth of my son 41 years ago when I was a mere 26 year old. Then I wake up one morning & I am 67 years old. How does that happen?

Lately I feel every bit of my age, too. My feet have hurt all the time for years. Chiropractors, acupuncturists, podiatrists & regular doctors haven’t helped. My shoulder has been really sore lately & I didn’t do anything to hurt it. Strange things grow on me. Weight will not go away without starving myself. If I turn my arm a certain way, there are a hundred little wrinkles. And when I look in the mirror, I see my grandmother.

On our recent trip to Washington, DC, we did a ton of walking. It’s been several days & I am still feeling the effects of really sore feet & legs. Even my “younger guy” (by five years) commented that he never used to be bothered by walking miles on a trip but now days that is not the case. Trading foot massages is now a normal part of our vacations. As long as we can still do it (& survive the long plane rides), we will keep on keeping on. But I know that someday, we just won’t be able to handle it anymore. 

In the meantime, I’ll do my best to keep up with Charley & hope that the ravages of time can be held at bay awhile longer. Charley is definitely the best antidote to aging. Lou & I plan to travel as much & as often as possible starting with our next journey to Iceland, Greenland & Norway in August.

The quote “Getting old ain’t for sissies!”, has been attributed to Bette Davis but I'm not sure it has been substantiated. Whoever said it was damn right! BUT it still beats the hell out of the alternative!

GRAMMAR SOAPBOX

My number one pet peeve when it comes to misuse of the English language is with the word "unique". Hardly a day goes by that I don't hear someone (usually on TV) say "very unique". I just heard it again from a scientist on Jimmy Fallon's Tonight Show. When describing her butterfly robot she said, "It is very unique technology." I wanted to scream....ARRGGGHHH!

There are no degrees of "unique"! Something is either "unique" or it isn't. Let me emphasize this again - THERE ARE NO DEGREES OF UNIQUE!!!

Okay, time to hop on my grammar soapbox for this blog post. I pulled out my copy of "The Elements of Style" by William Strunk, Jr. & E.B.White. Anyone who writes, for fun or for a living, will likely have a copy of "The Elements of Style". It is a skinny little book that addresses pretty much any question a writer may have regarding rules of usage, composition & misused words or expressions. It has stood the test of time - as far as I can tell from reading the title page & introduction, it dates back to 1919.

Here is what "The Elements of Style" says about the word "unique": "Means without like or equal. Hence, there can be no degrees of uniqueness."

Examples from the book:

"It was the most unique coffee maker available.", should be "It was a unique coffee maker."

"The balancing act was very unique.", should be "The balancing act was unique."

I hear intelligent, educated people say "very unique" all the time & I want to yell at them, "There are no degrees of unique! Unique doesn't need to be described." I am by no means a card carrying member of the grammar police but this one grates on me. I think we all have pet peeves that drive us just a tiny bit crazy. What are yours?

I decided to look up one of my lesser annoyances in "The Elements of Style" to see what their take was on one of my dad's favorite words. For as long as I can remember my father has used the word "irregardless". I always believed that it should just be "regardless". As I typed this, low & behold, my spell checker flagged "irregardless" as misspelled. I thought, "Yeah, because it's not a word."

Pulling my well used dictionary (next to my "The Elements of Style") from the shelf above my computer, I discovered that Webster's defines "irregardless" as "a substandard or humorous redundancy for regardless".

"The Elements of Style" says "Irregardless should be regardless. The error results from failure to see the negative in "less" & from a desire to get it in as a prefix". So, there you have it - "You're wrong, Dad!"

I should probably go back & read through the 95 pages of "The Elements of Style" again since I am guilty of many of the rules brought up by the authors. I have a tendency to use the word "so" too often (see above paragraph) when the book tells me to avoid it.

But I think the thing I need to work on most is number 17 in the "Principles of Composition" chapter - "Omit needless words". In the previous sentence I could leave out "But I think" & "most" making it "The thing I need to work on is number 17, etc. But I LIKE my needless words. They feel needed to me. The shortened sentence sounds awfully boring to me. I've always been a talker & tend to write that way, too. And don't even get me started on commas.

FIVE LEVELS OF SENIORHOOD

Those of us who left our forties behind quite some time ago know that there are various stages of "seniorhood". It is about a fifteen year process to make it from being termed "middle-aged" to being a legitimate "senior citizen". We all start out in childhood, progress to adulthood & end up in seniorhood. I don't even want to consider what comes next.

That term "senior citizen" always reminded me of my step father-in-law of many, many years ago. Grandpa Bob was a character &, if I'm being honest, a royal pain in the ass. BUT that has nothing to do with this post since my guess is that he was a pain in the ass long before he became a senior. What I was reminded of is that he always called himself a "senile citizen." One of the few things about the man that made me smile.

But I digress - back to my "Five Levels of Seniorhood".

Level One - 50 years: The first stage of becoming a senior is turning 50 years old, half a century of living. Yikes! Of course, if you still look fairly good & are in decent health then it's not so bad since people say, "You don't look fifty at all!" or "You look great for fifty!" Plus this is when you can join AARP & start getting a few discounts on hotels, rental cars, etc. In all honesty though with AAA membership you can get the same discounts. It is still easy to rationalize that fifty isn't really old. Just a thought - have you ever noticed that it is always about 15 years older than you are that you consider old?

Level Two - 55 years: When you reach your 55th birthday the discounts really begin to kick in. Many restaurants have a "senior menu" that says for those 55 & up (or if they are being cutesy, 55 & better). This is when you can really start cashing in on those discounts in earnest. I recall knowing about the senior drink at Taco Bell (free or highly discounted) & asked at what age you could get it. I was told by the teenage boy at the register that he was instructed to give it to anyone who asked for it - no specific age. Although I'm guessing anyone over 55 probably looked around 100 to the kids working there anyway.

Level Three - 60 years: Turning 60 opened the door to a few more discounts but wasn't anything special - just another decade. By now most of us are accustomed to checking the back page of the menu for senior pricing. Whenever we book a room or a cruise I always check for deals for seniors. Most admissions to movies, museums, galleries or attractions offer a senior discount that sometimes commences at 60 years old. 

Level Four - 62 years: Level four of seniorhood is a big one since you can now apply for Social Security!  Most people I know (especially those no longer working) collected it at this first opportunity. When you do the math by waiting until 66 (or your "retirement" age) it takes over 15 years until you are finally ahead of the game. I don't know about you but I want my money now when I can enjoy it rather than waiting until I'm 81 to start receiving it. Who knows how much I'll want to do or be able to do when I'm in my 80s - assuming I even make it that far. A really cool perk is that you are now eligible for your Senior National Parks Pass - for $10 you get a card that gives you access to all the National Park sites for life! My sweetie just attained this level of seniorhood a few days ago. He's more excited about his own Parks Pass than the Social Security.

Level Five - 65 years: The ultimate & final stage of seniorhood! You are now eligible for Medicare. Virtually every discount & perk for senior citizens is now at your disposal. I find that every meal, ticket or admission that we purchase the first words out of my mouth are "Do you offer a senior discount?" I mean, hey, there have to be some benefits for making it all the way to 65 & beyond, right? And the best reward is that you now have grandchildren, hopefully, which is the ultimate in pure pleasure. You love them, spoil them, make your own rules, wave bye-bye to them & their parents as you smile broadly & head to bed happily exhausted.

This is the perfect place to share a senior ditty that I saved a few years ago. Whenever I see these little gems I keep them for further use or to just read every now & then & smile.

New Wine for Seniors

California vintners in the Napa Valley area which

primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot

Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid

grape that acts as an anti-diuretic. It is expected

to reduce the number of trips older people have 

to make to the bathroom at night

The new wine will be marketed as Pinot More.

CONVERSATIONS WITH CHARLEY - PART III

The interesting interactions with my five year old granddaughter, Charley, never cease to amaze me. Here are a few more discussions & Charley-isms.

Charley & I (along with her other grandma) share the middle name, Ellen. She is learning that most people have a third name that isn't normally used. She uniquely calls it an "Ellen name" since that is her middle name. Sitting around the dinner table last month the following conversation took place.

Charley:  Lou, what is your Ellen name?

Lou:  John

Charley:  How old are you?

Lou:  How old do you think I am?

Charley:  Six? No, thirty.

Lou:  Thirty is closer than six, but I'm sixty-two.

Gaga:  No, you aren't. You're sixty-one.

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There is a leopard skin print comforter & sheets in our guest room which Darrin & Charley share on their visits to Sacramento. When they were visiting we had this conversation.

Charley:  Gaga, did you see my new book?

Gaga:  No, where is it?

Charley:  It's in my room.

Gaga:  Oh, in your room in Hayward. I'll have to see it in a few days.

Charley:  No, it's in my room! (Gaga still wasn't quite understanding she meant here.)  The one with the Cheetah polka dots!

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One day Charley & I were discussing playing with her identical twin friends who live in the same apartment complex. Their names are Maya & Jada. We always refer to them in that order.

Gaga:  We need to head down to the playground to meet Jada & Maya.

Charley:  No, Gaga! It's Maya & Jada, not Jada & Maya. That's not their names!

Gaga: Okay, you're right, Maya & Jada. I stand corrected.

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My father, who we all call Pop, had a couple of large unexpected expenses as well as a few expected ones recently. He ended up shelling out $3500 in less than a week! Fortunately, he has money to cover it. Darrin, Charley & I were eating dinner & touched on his finances.

Gaga:  Yeah, Pop got hit really hard last week!

Charley:  Who hit Pop?

Gaga:  No, sweetie, it is just an expression meaning things cost a lot.

Charley:  Is he hurt?

Darrin:  No, Charley, nobody hit Pop. He's fine.

I think we finally convinced her that Pop is indeed okay. No one hit him & it is just a way to say that he had to spend a lot of money.