OMFG

Lou & I are intelligent people. We are seasoned travelers. We are fairly well versed in using the Internet & can operate most websites. But this afternoon we met our match!

Our mission was to fill out our applications for an Indian visa for our upcoming trip. It has taken weeks of research to figure out what we needed & how to go about obtaining it. But that was child's play compared to actually applying for the damn thing on their website - which appears to be the only way to do it other than paying an independent visa company at least double the cost - & you still have to fill out all the forms correctly.

Apparently the Indian Consulate has contracted with one visa service, CKGS, that does ALL of the Indian visas. Our state department, their state department & my guess is, any other visa service, must go through CKGS to obtain a visa to visit India. There is a simpler e-visa BUT it is only good for two entries into India. Our cruise stops at three ports & following the cruise we are flying to Delhi for two nights. We needed a regular visa - which according to all accounts is much more involved. OMFG, were they ever right!

We went to the CKGS website to apply. The process involves filling out initial information on their site before being redirected to the Consulate General of India website to fill out their form & print it. You are then sent back to CKGS to answer more questions, print that page & finally book an appointment in San Francisco to deliver all of your forms, passport, ID, payment & a photo that has a ton of rules & regulations - totally white background, no glasses, no hair covering your face, straight on, no tilted head, etc, etc. You can mail all of the forms in but we elected to actually have someone check it in person.

All of that may have been do-able IF the website had even sort of worked correctly. Lou was at his computer & I was at mine trying to figure out each step as we progressed. Our goal was to get to the book appointment part at the same time & schedule our appointments next to each other. You will not believe how many times one or the other of us had to start over when a webpage froze up. Or how many times one of us had to stop & help the other. Or how many times I said "Fuck" - well, if you know me, you probably do believe that!

You are given a temporary number in case you have to log back in to your application. But the numbers never worked to get back into the site! We had three different confirmation or application numbers but couldn't get any of them work. A phone call only produced a recording referring us to the website. At one point Lou called the CKGS line after we had hit yet another roadblock. All of the numbers were alpha numeric with several letters. The recording told him to enter his application number. How do you enter a 12 digit number with letters & numbers on a phone keypad??? He tried speaking the number but that didn't work either. Talk about sheer frustration.

Both of us felt like we had been dragged through the wringer when finally, almost 4 hours later (literally), Lou clicked the button & the "Order Receipt" appeared on his screen. I yelled, "Hallelujah!" & we high-fived like we scored the winning touchdown!

All of our paperwork is filled out & printed but that is just the start. We must sign in three boxes & if our signature goes out of the box at all, it will be rejected. Next up is to take the photos which will also be rejected if they don't meet the exact criteria. I'm a little freaked out about our February 12th appointments at 11:12 AM & 11:23 AM to make sure our forms have all the "i's" dotted & "t's" crossed. Shit, I just want to visit the damn country, not buy it!

As I was starting over from scratch with my India Consulate application that somehow disappeared, Lou started looking at some of the website reviews while he waited for me to catch up. Here are just a few that made me feel a lot better knowing we weren't alone!

"I'm beyond frustrated at this point. I have never encountered a more dysfunctional application system."

"I had heard from many others that applying for a VISA through CKGS was going to be a hellish experience.  They were right."

"Website is a piece of crap! Pathetic, nothing on their system works."

The Better Business Bureau reports that CKGS has a customer approval rating of 1.2 out of a possible 5. I have decided that CKGS does indeed translate into OMFG! I have a bad feeling that this saga is far from over. I hope to hell I'm wrong but I'll keep you posted on the outcome. I've pretty much decided that India doesn't want tourists. Making it this hard to get a frickin' visa is not the way to encourage visitors to your country!

MORTALITY IS CREEPING IN

A week & a half ago, I had a sore hip that might be bursitis or might be a hip flexor muscle issue.  Today I am doing my best to come to terms with the fact that I most likely need hip replacement surgery. I've spent the past ten days talking to everyone I know who either had or is well versed in hip replacements & doing hours of research online.

I think what it is that I'm having difficulty wrapping my brain around is that for the first time in my life, my body has failed me. That is not an easy thing to accept. In the past, my body has healed itself & I moved on with my life relatively pain free. Not this time. I'm going to need some serious assistance from the medical world to move forward.

For the first time where my health is concerned I feel vulnerable & somewhat fragile. What the hell, me & hip replacement don't belong in the same sentence. Every time I stand up I am reminded that I can't walk without pain & limping. If I had to run to save my life, maybe I could do it, but I'm not really sure. Yes, I'm 67 years old, almost 68, but I sure as hell don't feel "old". However, my body is telling me otherwise. And that fucking sucks.

Yesterday, I turned an acquaintance into a new friend. It is kind of an interesting story. When my dad moved to Sun City in Roseville there is a golf course & deli just a few blocks from his house. They make great sandwiches & we stop by to purchase them often. The woman who works there, Pam, & I have been chatting for the five minutes it takes to complete our order for years. It is amazing what you can discuss in just a few minutes.

Many months ago I started telling her that someday I would stop by near her quitting time & have a glass of wine to get to know her better. She said, please do it & I'll join you. Well, yesterday I took her up on it. I stopped by the deli/clubhouse at 3:30 PM. Pam had already closed up so she poured us each a glass of wine & we headed to one of the tables.

Turns out we have a lot in common. Both of us are in long term, committed relationships without feeling a need for marriage. We both have an elderly parent. Both of us are in need of a joint replacement. She limped to the table with a bad knee & I did the same with my hip. As I knew we would, we hit it off & talked for over an hour over a couple glasses of wine. You know how there are some people you just click with? Yeah, Pam is one of those women for me. We commiserated about all of these "old age" limitations & other bullshit that has to be handled at our ages.

There were two young men (probably in their 20s) working in the pro shop who were wrapping up to go home. Pam told them to enjoy their youth because it won't last. We both reiterated that sentiment. They smiled & said they would - but they probably won't. They likely just brushed it off as two old ladies with unwanted advice - as one of them helped me figure out how to show Pam photos of Charley on my cell phone without words in front of them. That is just a fact of life that we need the younger generation to work these damn things.

As I told my 41 year old son a couple weeks ago that my 25 years of running had finally caught up with me, he informed me that he was training for a half marathon in March. It got me thinking, would I have NOT done all that running if I knew that at almost 70 years of age I'd be facing a hip replacement? My answer was a resounding "NO"!. I want every 20, 30 or 40 year old to embrace life & live it how they see fit. None of us can predict the future nor can we really know if our past did indeed influence that future.

All any of us can do is live our lives to the best of our abilities. Yes, try to eat fairly well & take care of ourselves but in the end do what makes you happy & enjoy every ounce of this thing we call life. It is the only one we have & I'm reminded of an old saying I've heard many times. Not sure who said it but they were right on.

"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive & well preserved body. But rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body used up, worn out & screaming, "Woo Hoo, what a ride!"

AN INEXACT SCIENCE

Most people tend to believe that when you are sick or injured, you go to the doctor or hospital, they ask you questions, run a few tests then do something or give you something to fix you up. Over the years I've learned that even the most educated & experienced medical professionals don't have all the answers. Often times medicine is an inexact science at best.

I was reminded of that these past few weeks while looking for answers to my almost constant hip pain for the last several months. In the past month I've seen three different health care providers & received three different theories as to why my hip hurts like hell.

After a couple of visits to my chiropractor with no improvement, I made an appointment with my primary care doctor in late November. She asked me questions about my pain, poked, prodded & came to the conclusion that I had arthritis coupled with trochanteric bursitis. She suggested I get an x-ray (which confirmed the presence of mild arthritis) & try round the clock ibuprofen for a week to knock down the inflammation. That didn't help. Next we tried a cortisone injection into the bursa sack. That didn't help. She referred me to physical therapy & an orthopedic specialist.

Of course, referrals to other health care departments seem to travel at a snail's pace, especially when you are hurting. I'd like to think they can do things quicker when you have a really serious condition. Last week I saw the physical therapist for the first time. After extensive questioning, he believes that the cause of my pain isn't arthritis or bursitis but the hip flexor muscle which has tightened up over the years causing pain when it stretches. He believes an exercise program targeting the hip flexor is the place to start. I was heartened that maybe it was something which I could diligently improve over the next few months.

This morning I saw the orthopedic specialist. He again questioned me extensively about the pain type & location. I explained that I had already received diagnoses of arthritis & bursitis & a hip flexor issue. He had me lay down & moved my leg up, down, sideways with bent knees & straight asking me when it hurt.

When finished, he said simply, "It's your hip. It is wearing out & you will ultimately need hip replacement surgery." I replied, "Well, hell. That's not what I wanted to hear." In the meantime he suggested a cortisone shot into the hip joint (rather than the bursa) that is done with an x-ray to make sure the placement is exact. He is sure that will help but it cannot be done more often than every three months. He suggested, & I agreed, that we wait until a few weeks before our big cruise in April. I have scheduled it for March 15.

So, there you have it. Three different diagnoses from three different health care professionals. I'm going to do my homework - researching online & talking to anyone who has had hip replacement surgery. If you or anyone close to you has had hip replacement surgery, please let me pick your brain. I am continuing the physical therapy & exercises just in case that does indeed help. Maybe the injection will work & last longer than three months. Or maybe it will ease up when the weather warms up. I am keeping an open mind & treating surgery as an absolute last resort. At almost 68 years old I have never had major surgery in my life.

I won't rule out any results which are outside of the box of conventional wisdom when it comes to all my options. I am reminded of the time almost four years ago when my dad had half of his foot amputated due to cellulitis & gangrene. It was not healing after weeks of hyperbaric chamber treatment, a couple of surgeries, lots of debriding & numerous wound care procedures.

My dad's fantastic surgical podiatrist made appointments for him to be seen at UCSF Medical Center in San Francisco, THE best hospital for tough cases in Northern California. The head of their Vascular Surgery department did a procedure on my dad to examine the blood flow to his foot. He found me in the waiting room & told me, "It will never heal. He needs a below the knee amputation."

That fantastic surgical podiatrist looked at me the next day & said sincerely, "I don't think that's true. I think it will heal in time." He went above & beyond, making house calls, providing wound care & finding a brace to keep his weight off of the foot. And guess what? It did heal, slowly but surely. My dad still has that leg today. Although it is missing half a foot, he can still walk with his walker. Even the best doctors don't have all the solutions. Medicine is most definitely an inexact science.

CRYING TIME

I need to bitch, vent & whine a little - both kinds, whine & wine. Between my father's health needs & lately, my own, I swear that I spend half my life dealing with medical issues & the other half at WalMart or WinCo. All I do is go grocery shopping & call or visit doctors & nurses trying to figure out how to handle the next medical crisis.

Let's start with my dad. Unfortunately, his health issues have been one problem after another for the past 13+ years. It would take writing a book just to give you the Reader's Digest version of his ailments but I'm not going to subject you to that. Thank God we have a great live-in caregiver who really wants to be there for him - & for me. But it still involves almost daily problem solving, running around to buy this or pick up that & far more time than I'd like to spend.

He drives me crazy sometimes! Okay, lots of times. I always tell people raising my kid was a piece of cake. It's the parent who will drive you batty! It is like having a 200 pound toddler AND to make it worse, they never grow up, they just get worse. My sister says that if our mother were still alive she would have killed him by now. Maybe.

Now, let's move on to me since I'm my biggest problem lately. Damn, damn, damn it! About 6 or 7 weeks ago, my right hip started bothering me. And I don't mean, oh, that is kind of sore. Every step I took or every move I made (hmmm, sounds like a Police song) hurt like hell & at times I was afraid I might fall down. In the past I've occasionally had a day or two of this sort of thing. But this was not going away. I went to the chiropractor a couple times with no improvement.

We went on a four day trip to Southern California a month ago & it really limited what I could do. Sitting hurt, standing hurt, walking hurt - laying didn't hurt too much most of the time. It was not fun. A couple weeks later I flew to Albuquerque to spend a few days with Darrin & Charley. Darrin was with his daughter for the week before Thanksgiving & invited me for a visit. I was definitely going!

By now I was getting somewhat used to my limitations & made a point of standing as soon as the plane landed so I could start putting weight on it gently before the mad dash off the airplane. I didn't want to be sprawled in the aisle as everyone either "ooohhed" & "aaahhed" or just stepped over me. Fortunately, it didn't hamper my playing with the Monster High ghouls, watching movies or going to Taco Bell with Charley. But it wasn't getting any better & I was really getting tired of it.

Upon returning I made an appointment with my doctor who determined that I had bursitis in my hip. Well, shit! Since I have moderate arthritis in both feet, I assumed it was in my hips, too. Arthritis is one of the causes of bursitis (inflammation of the bursae that cushions your joints). Sure enough, an x-ray confirmed - mild to moderate arthritis. Looks like my 25 years of jogging finally caught up with me. The doctor said take ibuprofen 3 to 4 times a day for a week to try to knock down the inflammation. Today was day 7 & it isn't any better at all.

We will discuss a corticosteroid injection and/or physical therapy at my follow up appointment tomorrow. I'm on the fence about the shot after reading horror stories online of people who got worse afterward. BUT when it hurts like hell, I'm thinking give me the damn shot - NOW!

So, feeling every bit of my 67 years & dealing with my 89 year old father & his myriad of health problems had me feeling the need to do some serious bitching & venting. As I hobbled & limped around, struggling to get up off the floor when adjusting my dad's wheelchair brakes & then putting up his Christmas decorations, I was ready to scream - literally.

In fact, screaming is VERY therapeutic. By yourself in the car is the best place to indulge. I haven't done it in a few years but today I just took a deep breath & screamed at the top of my lungs for several seconds! Try it sometime. You will feel better. But if that isn't enough then just have a good, old fashioned cry. The kind that Oprah calls the "ugly cry" where your nose is running, your eyes are red, you're sobbing & snorting & gasping. Every now & then you just have to get it all out of you in order to face the next day. Oh, yeah, & grab that glass of wine, too! 

I HATE LA (TRAFFIC)

Earlier this week we took a four day road trip to Southern California. I figured it was a little over 80 hours total & I swear we spent at least 20 of those hours sitting in traffic! For as long as I can remember the traffic in Los Angeles has been horrendous. If you think it is bad in Sacramento, it is a piece of cake compared to SoCal. Even the Bay Area can't hold a candle to having constant gridlock on six, eight or ten freeways in the southland at any given time.

My first recollection of LA traffic was back when I was a kid & my family drove to Disneyland. Even then, it was the classic kid's whine, "Are we there yet?" Twenty-five years later my son improved on the traditional line of frustrated kids who have spent hours in the car when he huffed & sighed saying, "Why don't we just stop driving around & go there?"

Back about 48 years ago I married a man who was from Southern California & still had family residing around the Los Angeles area. We made monthly trips down south leaving after work on Fridays & returning Sunday afternoons. After years of doing this, I really learned to hate LA, which wasn't hard. The main factor was the traffic - I won't go into some of the other reasons - you can use your imagination. Not to mention that being a life long Bay Area sports fan, hating the Dodgers & the Lakers & the Rams is just in your DNA.

Lou has taken a few trips to LA by himself to visit things that didn't interest me. After his last one about a year ago, he told me that the traffic was so bad, he swore there was no way he would drive down there again. But yet here we were sitting in god awful traffic for hours on end. It's one of those things that is like having a baby - you have to forget how truly bad it was before you are willing to do it again.

Honestly, I'm one of those people who believes that California should be divided into two states, North California & South California, just like North & South Dakota or North & South Carolina. There is no way that all the bullshit of southern California should be lumped in with our beautiful northern state.

In fairness, I can sort of see the appeal of the mild weather, the beaches & the entertainment industry. BUT just a few hours in the interminable traffic puts a real damper on the nicer things. On this trip we had tickets to a Jeopardy taping which was lots of fun. After watching a young man named Ryan win over $60,000 on three "days", all in about 2-1/2 hours with several costume changes, we drove over to the coast to Santa Monica.

It was beautiful with lovely weather. After a late lunch back in Culver City, we decided to have ice cream for dinner along the Third Street Promenade area of Santa Monica. We hopped in the car about 5:30 PM to drive the 8 miles back to our hotel. Our GPS told us that the trip would take 16 minutes. Yeah, right. We knew that wouldn't happen as we entered the gridlock of the 110 on our way to the 405. Why do southern Californians call their freeways "the 405" or "the 110"? We don't say get on "the 80" or take "the 5". That just sounds stupid.

Anyway, back on "the 110", Lou made the comment with a hint of sarcasm in his voice that we should make it back to the hotel to watch Jeopardy by 7 PM. Turns out he was wrong. It literally took us two hours to drive 8 miles during rush hour. Well, lets say it took 1-1/2 hours since I really had to pee after an hour & we spent half an hour just getting off the freeway to head into a mall where we could find a bathroom. Los Angeles is not restroom friendly unless you buy something.

We arrived back at our hotel just as Jeopardy ended. I immediately poured a glass of wine & plopped on the bed to relax. I have no idea how people do this every single day commuting to work AND then if you want to do something fun on the weekend it is the same damn thing - traffic, traffic & more traffic!

The next morning as we left for home we had to do it all again. The 405 was stop & go for miles - uh, what else is new? As the traffic began to thin through the San Fernando Valley, I sighed in relief. In another few hours we would be out of the crazy ass traffic in SoCal - & none too soon. Did I mention that I hate LA traffic???

SHERRY STRONG

Most of you know that I am a huge sports fan which includes NASCAR. Years ago Lou commented that the song, "She Don't Love Me More Than NASCAR", was perfect for me! Nah, I love him a little more. For twenty plus years my favorite driver was Jeff Gordon. Jeff retired a couple years ago so I switched my allegiance to Carl Edwards. I liked Tony Stewart, too. At the end of that year, both Tony & Carl retired. What the hell?

I had a hard time getting into NASCAR early this year. All of my favorite drivers were gone. The new rules like stage racing & time limits on repairs seemed contrived & unnecessary. I had always liked Martin Truex, Jr., who drove for one of the lesser teams that didn't stand much chance of winning consistently. But I went ahead & settled on Martin as my current favorite. He is a really good guy, a great driver & seemed to be an upstanding citizen which is more than I can say for many of the current leading drivers. There are a bunch of really young drivers who could all be my grandsons but none grabbed my fancy as a new fave.

As I learned more about Martin Truex, Jr. these past couple of years, I discovered his long time girlfriend, Sherry Pollex, & her incredible story. Three years ago, at age 35, Sherry was diagnosed with stage three ovarian cancer. Her prognosis was grim. She underwent hours of extensive surgery followed by 17 months of exhausting chemotherapy. Here is an excerpt from her website - SherryStrong.org

"But as family and friends know, Pollex has a stubborn streak and doesn’t take kindly to being told she can’t do something. With Truex Jr. and family by her side, she fought for her life, and chose a doctor who would fight alongside her. Within days, she underwent a radical hysterectomy and debulking surgery expected to last four hours that instead lasted seven grueling hours as her surgeon painstakingly removed every trace of cancer he could see with the human eye.

"During the 17 months of treatment that followed, supporters cheered her on by using #SherryStrong via social media. Each message reminded her to fight and inspired a new reason to live."

I have watched Sherry, a truly beautiful woman inside & out, these past couple of years at NASCAR races. She has been there to support Martin with her two inch blonde hair & brilliant smile every step of the way. In 2017 Martin has had a storybook year in NASCAR winning seven races (a series high) & is the front runner to win the overall championship in a few weeks.

Sherry knew that her chances weren't good but she refuses to "live by the numbers".  The rate of recurrence for ovarian cancer is 85% in the first three years. Sherry made it one year & four months before the cancer returned this past September. At home recovering from surgery when Martin won race number six, Sherry tweeted her congratulations with a photo. When talking about Sherry in the post race interview, Martin became emotional & teary at the strength & support he receives from her.

Once again following surgery, Sherry is undergoing chemo but she was present for Martin's seventh win two weeks ago. The smile of this gorgeous, courageous woman is infectious. Her bravery is inspirational. Sherry & Martin have a foundation to educate & promote cancer research. I urge you all to take a look at her website: SherryStrong.org.

My love of NASCAR has been revitalized due to Martin & Sherry. Yes, I'm cheering big time for Martin Truex, Jr. to win the NASCAR championship this year. But I'm rooting even harder for Sherry Pollex to win her fight against ovarian cancer & be there at Martin's side for years & years to come. They are an amazing, heartwarming couple who are doing great things in the fight again this horrible disease.

This is exactly why I love sports! There is so much more to sporting events than the final score or number of wins. The stories behind the competitors & their families make them the real winners - not of the race, the game or the event, but of life!

If you want to read more, here is Martin's story: https://www.theplayerstribune.com/martin-truex-jr-nascar-cancer/

MOSQUITOES - THE LITTLE SUCKERS

I do not like mosquitoes but they sure as hell like me! For as long as I can remember I have been prime meat for mosquitoes to sink their little proboscises into & draw out a little droplet of my blood. I suppose it has something to do with my skin being fair or easy to pierce or I'm just really susceptible to them. Our unusually hot fall has the little buggers out in force.

The damn little things seem to land on me & bite me without my even noticing. I rarely feel anything when they do their damage. BUT shortly thereafter, the god awful itching will drive me almost insane. I'm guessing I'm a little more allergic to them to most people because the first couple of days I form half inch welts where each bite was made. Hell, that's way bigger than the little suckers that do the biting!

Okay, this description of what happens when a mosquito bites you kind of freaked me out. I had no idea it was this creepy. Here is what I found online: "The mosquito truly is a blood-sucking machine. The thin tube the insect injects into the skin, what's called the proboscis, is actually comprised of six different needles that all work in tandem to extract blood from the body. The first two needles act a bit like teeth. The have tiny ridges at the end that help the mosquito puncture through the skin. A second pair of needles act like clamps during the blood draw, holding the skin's tissues apart to allow the last set of needles to do their work. Among these is a needle that acts like a homing beacon; it finds our blood vessels by detecting the chemicals they give off, and then slurps up the tasty blood inside. The last needle is the real jerk: it injects chemicals into our vessels to stimulate blood flow. But it's also what makes those itchy bumps appear after the mosquito gets its fill and leaves. All of these needles are shielded by a flexible sheath called the labium."  EEEEWWWW!!!!

Now, I know why my mosquito bites itch so damn bad, but I'd sure like to know how to relieve that incessant itching. Years ago I had a tube of ointment called Caladryl that seemed to help ease the itching but I can't find it anymore. It was pink & I'm assuming it was a combination of calamine lotion & Benadryl. I dug around in the cupboard until I finally found the tube. Unfortunately, the little bit that remained was hard as a rock.

Normal hydrocortisone cream only gives minimal relief at best. I bought some liquid Benadryl specifically for insect bites which advertised instant relief from itching - NOT. It turns out that my mom's old remedy of a baking soda & water paste is still the best relief. It doesn't last long but you can keep putting it on as often as needed.

I just looked up "home remedies for mosquito bites" & found lots of things to try:

Oatmeal - it contains potent antioxidants, known as avenanthremides, which reduce inflammation and may calm itch.

Ice cubes - the brain can only process one sensation at a time, hold an ice cube on the bite & the itching will stop as you feel the intense cold.

Yogurt - a great inflammation reducer & the probiotics have skin calming properties.

Aloe vera - squeeze the gel from the leaf onto the bite for its anti-inflammatory benefits.

Honey - apply it directly to the bite for its anti-inflammatory & anti-microbial properties.

Aspirin - dissolve it in water & apply the paste to the bite to calm the itching.

I found our bottle of honey & put a dab on the bite on the top of my foot. It seemed to help slightly but then I accidently rested my opposite foot on top of that one getting honey on the bottom of it. When I walked into the bathroom to wipe it off my foot was sticking to the floor. And I certainly couldn't go to bed with honey on my foot.

The ice cube thing did work temporarily. We'll see how long it lasts. I have an aspirin waiting to be soaked in water & dissolved as the next attempt to stop the fricking itching. It amazes me how a stupid, little flying insect can disrupt your life for a few days!

Does anyone else have something that will ease the crazy-ass itching?