GAGA LOGIC

There is this thing called "Girl Logic" or "Female Logic" or "Woman Logic". Whichever way you refer to it, the basic concept is that it really isn't logical at all but makes sense to her. For example: If a woman has had a salad for lunch & saved 300 calories over what she would normally eat, then she can have a chocolate chip cookie & still have saved 150 calories - therefore a cookie is healthy! Or if a girl found a blouse for half price then she can buy two & she is ecstatic even though she spent the same amount of money.

In my online research trying to explain "Girl Logic" I also found countless examples that seem to drive men crazy. I won't even go into those explanations since most women know how easy it is to confuse a man & drive him nuts without even trying.

A few days ago while shopping with my five year old granddaughter, Charley, I applied the concepts of "Gaga Logic" & it all made perfect sense to me. If you know me or have read these blog posts, you are aware that Gaga is a total pushover when it comes to Charley. I am quite frugal in my "real" life but where Charley is concerned, I will spend money I would never spend elsewhere.

I was watching Charley while her daddy went in to work. It was a windy, rainy day so we were cooped up inside. After watching some TV, eating breakfast & playing dominoes we were planning to see "Beauty & the Beast" at the movies. After checking it out online many sites felt it might be too scary & intense for young children. Charley & I watched a couple of trailers online & she agreed it looked too scary so we scrapped that idea.

I suggested that we go to the mall instead (with a bit of an ulterior motive). Last month we came across some "Monster High" figures at a store. Charley excitedly pointed & knew exactly who they were but I had no clue. We came home, searched on Netflix & watched a "Monster High" show. It was pretty cool.

The characters are typical teen-agers with monster characteristics & names like "Frankie Stein" & "Draculaura" & "Clawdean Wolf" & "Lagoona Blue". Good Lord, I just looked it up & there are 67 characters listed - I'll never remember all of those. The students at "Monster High" get into all sorts of predicaments, but ultimately it works out fine & there is a positive message that is shared. Charley knows lots of songs from the shows & really loves the characters.

My hope was to buy her one or two of the figures. Unfortunately that store in the mall didn't have them anymore so we went to Ross where I ended up buying her a Barbie that she really loved. She has one already & decided to name the new one Rosie who would be Barbie's older sister since she was taller. They each had two or three outfits & could share them.

Gaga was slightly disappointed that we couldn't find the "Monster High" figures so I suggested we head to Toys R Us. It was deja vu all over again for me since I had visited that same store hundreds of times with her daddy when he was on his Star Wars & G.I.Joe quests around thirty years ago.

Of course they had a whole aisle of "Monster High" stuff - who knew? She had to have the "Frankie Stein" figure AND the "Draculaura" with 30 different hair accessories (extensions, clips, headbands, etc). I'd already spent $12 on Rosie & her clothes. These two totaled another $35. This is where the "Gaga Logic" kicked in.

If we had gone to the movie, I would have spent $12 on the tickets & another $12 on popcorn & a drink. That was $24 right there. I have a fairly substantial stash of Christmas & birthday money left to spend. Isn't gift money supposed to be spent on something that you really want that makes you happy? Well, seeing the joy on my sweetie's face when I said, "Sure, Gaga can buy you both of them", made me deliriously happy & I really wanted it. So, I took a $20 from my birthday money & it was just about a wash - "Gaga Logic" - voila!

Charley had the best time playing with Barbie, Rosie, Frankie & Draculaura all afternoon. Any amount spent would have been a bargain. Besides, I only had a boy to interact with & I knew all about trains, Star Wars, & airplanes. I totally loved it. But I never got to change clothes on dolls, put on belts or shoes, comb hair, choose accessories or do any of this cool girl stuff. This is fun!

GAGA, THE SPORTS GEEK

There was never much doubt, but it's official now, Gaga is a sports geek. Several months ago when we learned that the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament was coming to Sacramento, I asked Lou to get us tickets for my birthday. He wasn't too hot on the idea but it is something that I've always wanted to do so he bought the tickets.

Our brand new, state of the art arena, Golden 1 Center, in downtown Sacramento hosted the first & second rounds of what is lovingly called "March Madness". It is a big deal to be chosen as a venue since the tournament brings a lot of visitors & money into the city. By all accounts it was a stunning success for our city & they have put in bids for future NCAA Tournaments.

On Friday there were four basketball games scheduled in two sessions. It was over eight hours of actual basketball plus 30 minutes between games. We left the house at 9:45 AM & returned home at 9:45 PM. On Sunday afternoon the four winners played each other (five more hours) to send two teams to the "Sweet Sixteen" round. What started as 64 teams in 8 different venues is whittled down to 16 after the first week.

I just don't have the time to devote to watching college sports anymore but back in the day, like 30 - 35 years ago, I was a huge college basketball fan. I knew all the teams, the best players, the coaches & could hold my own in a discussion with any man. One year, in the early 80s, I happened to be in Nevada during the first rounds of the tournament. There are 32 games the first two days! Being quite knowledgeable, I sat in the sports bar literally all day making $5 bets & winning the majority of them. All the old men loved the crazy sports lady & the bartender bought me drinks all day!

I don't have an official "Bucket List", but if I did attending an NCAA Basketball Tournament would be on it, especially the "Final Four" which I hope to someday accomplish as well. The funny thing was that those players who I watched 30 years ago are the coaches now!  And their sons are playing the games. It was a lot of fun for me even though it was a real marathon session. Lou was a real trooper since he has never been a college sports fan at all. He only fell asleep a couple of times.

Maybe it's because they intentionally gouge you on prices or maybe it's partly because I'm getting old, but the concession prices are outrageous! The jumbo hotdog was $10 (& it wasn't that big), the Carnitas Nachos were $13 (they were really good) & a 20 ounce bottle of soda or water was $5 (half that at a convenience store). Literally nothing was less than $5 & they didn't sell beer since it was a college event. Lord only knows what that would have cost??!!?

We ate both lunch & dinner at the arena on Friday at a cost of around $60 for not a lot of food. It is difficult to carry food & drinks up the steep stairs of the upper deck plus there are no cup holders, one of my pet peeves. I mean, come on, it is supposed to be state of the art & no cup holders on the upper level??? On Sunday we stopped at Mel's Diner for a late lunch & skipped dinner to avoid the cost & inconvenience. By halftime of the second game, I decided to splurge & buy some Red Vines (red licorice is what we called it) & a bottle of water for $10.

When I was a kid our family went to a local ballpark to watch softball games. Our treat was red licorice at a cost of a penny each. My mother let us buy five for a nickel. Once in awhile if it was a long evening, we could have ten for a dime. I did the math & my red licorice at the tournament cost 33-1/3 cents each. However, it did bring back memories of sporting events past & I enjoyed it immensely.

Years ago I told Lou not to buy me jewelry or expensive gifts for birthdays or Christmas, but take me to a sporting event, concert or on a trip instead. He's done that now for years & for me that is a sign of true love. Most people think I'm crazy for choosing 12 hours of basketball over a diamond - but, hey, that's me! I love it & I'm not apologizing for it.

So, here I sit typing away less than an hour before my 67th birthday, eating the last few of my three for a dollar Red Vines that used to cost one cent each, thinking I've got it pretty good. Plus I get to see the light of my life, Charley Ellen, in just about 36 hours. Happy Birthday to me. Life is good!

DIVINE INTERVENTION

These past few days I have been experiencing a Twilight Zone-ish thing that culminated this morning in a really good conclusion. But first let me give you a little background information as to how this all came about. I'm still shaking my head back & forth as I sit here writing about my little escapade with what can only be described as divine intervention.

Many of you know that we returned from an eleven day southern Caribbean cruise  a week & a half ago. It was a wonderful cruise except for one minor happenstance. On the second day of the cruise I bit into my tasty cheese roll at dinner to feel something extremely hard. Oh, shit, I murmured as I realized it was a tooth or a piece of one! I pulled it out of my mouth & was just starting to examine it as the waiter arrived to take our order.

I shoved the tooth in my pocket & hoped that it wasn't from somewhere that showed when I talked or smiled. After ordering some absolutely delicious salmon, I realized that it was a few teeth from the back on the upper left. And fortunately, it didn't hurt at all. Thank goodness for small favors.

When we returned to our cabin, I quickly zipped it into a small baggie & placed it in the cupboard - this much I know for sure. We were in a hurry to get to the show & I didn't know if it was a crown or a tooth that had broken off. Over the next few days I kind of forgot about the tooth but have vague remembrances of putting it in either my purse or my carry on bag (somewhere safe) to bring home & take to the dentist.

Today was my dental appointment. I started looking a few days ago for the tooth. Low & behold, I couldn't find the frickin' thing anywhere. I looked in my purse & checked every pocket in my carry on more than once but no tooth. As time went on I was really thinking that it was a crown for a number of reasons that aren't necessary to the story - & you don't need details of my mouth I'm sure.

I brought Lou into the search a day or two ago & he looked in all of his stuff to no avail. Now, I was getting pissed off since I figured it would be way cheaper to glue it back on then to make a new one. We pulled down the suitcases & carry ons to search one more time - nothing. Damn it, where could it be? Both of us had checked every cabinet in our stateroom several times before departure & were sure we would have noticed the baggie if it was still there.

I kept repeating my mantra, "If all it takes is time or money to fix something, it isn't that big of a problem." But I sure didn't want to spend hundreds of dollars if I didn't need to. I had resolved myself to that being the case, telling myself, "It's only money."

I love my dentist who is in Pleasanton (100 miles from Sacramento) so I had to get up early to make my 10:30 AM appointment. I brought my grooming things downstairs so as not to disturb Lou. After breakfast, make up & hair fixing, I decided to pull my travel toothbrush & toothpaste out of my quart bag for liquids that was still in my purse from our flights & just brush my teeth downstairs.

There is a small opening in part of the toothbrush & I noticed something weird was wedged in it. Muttering "What the hell?" (actually something much more descriptive), I was flabbergasted to find my tooth! My first thought was "Thank you, God, for looking out for me" once I comprehended that it was indeed the wayward tooth.

Literally 10 minutes before I was ready to leave it turned up in the strangest place - no baggie, just the tooth. I have absolutely no recollection of putting it in the quart bag with my liquids but I must have. I guess that was my "safe place". Maybe senility really is kicking in. Or I'm just going nuts.

Arriving at the office, I asked the dentist if it was indeed a crown. She replied, "Yep & it looks in good shape. We should be able to glue it back on." It was quick, easy & no novocaine required. The best part is that it literally saved me at least $800!!! I am in awe of all the tiny unrelated details that had to come together this morning to find the stupid tooth. Can you imagine if I paid for a new one & found the damn thing next week? I am so thankful that God had my back through all this craziness! 

DISNEY ON ICE

Just need to do a little bit of ranting....BUT it all turned out okay in the end which has me feeling pretty good today. Sometimes either God feels a little sorry for you or the stars align or you just get lucky. Anyway, back to the beginning of my story.

Last year we took Charley to see Disney's Frozen on Ice. She loved it! We all had a wonderful, magical time sharing the ice skating escapades of Elsa, Anna, Olaf & the gang. Gaga spent lots of money but didn't mind one bit seeing the happiness & excitement on my sweetheart's smiling face.

We have been bombarded with commercials for the next Disney on Ice - World of Enchantment on television these past few weeks. This show includes the characters from Toy Story, Cars, The Little Mermaid &, of course, Frozen - all favorites of Charley. Gaga has also seen all four movies more than once, some many, many times. When I checked the dates, I discovered that it will be in Sacramento on the days that Charley & Darrin are up here visiting next week. Hooray!

Golden1 Center, our new downtown arena in Sacramento, is a gorgeous facility that we hope will revitalize our downtown area with new hotels, restaurants & shops. Lou & I have attended one King's game since its opening last October. Disney on Ice will give Darrin a chance to see our new facility & of course, Charley, will thoroughly enjoy the show & all the additional goodies that Gaga will buy her.

For several days I have been checking ticket prices. I'm not sure that I like this idea but they use what is called "market pricing" for most events. That means that the same seats can be different prices on different days all based on how many tickets are being sold. For whatever reason Friday night's prices were considerably less than Thursday, Saturday or Sunday - go figure. Anyway, Darrin said, "Go for it!" & Lou agreed to come along, too. He has seen Frozen & Cars so knows the stories for those movies.

Last night I sat down to do some final research on Friday night's tickets. It turns out that Friday is still not the most popular (good for us) since I could get four tickets in the tenth row of the lower level for $28 each! Score! Other nights the same tickets were as high as $68. Now, here is the rant part I mentioned. I go through all the Ticketmaster stuff expecting $112 plus some of the obligatory "fees". The total shows as $160.85!!! WTF?? $48.85 in "fees"??!!? Well, no way was Gaga spending that much on "fees" - over $12 per $28 ticket! That is ridiculous!

I decided to drive downtown this morning & pick up tickets at the arena to avoid a majority of the "fees". And, here is the lucky part I mentioned above. I easily figured out which street was closest to the ticket office & turned onto it. As I began looking for a place to park & passed the walkway to the box office, a car pulled out of a parking space about half a block ahead. I did a perfect parallel parking job & fed the meter a few quarters to give me half an hour figuring there might be a line. This was one of the easiest park jobs I've experienced in downtown Sacramento!

Inside there was one person ahead of me. A very nice man helped me choose our tickets which were the same ones I was trying to get online. He apologized for the fact that there are still "fees" involved. Just an aside, why don't they just add the "fees" in & charge that price for the tickets??? They aren't fooling any of us into thinking we are paying less because the "fees" aren't included.

Anyway, my total came to $128.60 - a more reasonable $4 per ticket extra in "fees". I was back in my car in less than ten minutes. So, even allowing for my few quarters & around a gallon of gas, I figured that about 45 minutes of my time saved me right around $30 - not bad. When I texted Darrin to tell him I got the tickets & saved 30 bucks, I added - "Enough to buy a magic wand at the show!" 💖😊💝

FAST FOOD REMINISCING

While watching Jimmy Fallon & The Tonight Show a couple days ago, I learned there is a new movie out titled "The Founder". This is the story of how Ray Kroc acquired the McDonald brothers' burger joint in Southern California then built it into a billion dollar worldwide empire.

Those of you who know me personally are aware that I am a bit of a fast food junkie. Yeah, I know, it isn't cool any longer to admit that you love fast food. But I don't care because at almost 67 years old if I never ate another fast food meal, I doubt it would add even a day to the rest of my life. And to be honest, I don't think I'm alone since there are fast food restaurants on every corner & they are well patronized.

Anyway, I totally recall the first McDonald's opening in Hayward, California, back when I was a kid. It was a family event to drive over & try out this new hamburger place. The hamburger cost 15 cents, the fries & sodas were 10 cents each. Your meal cost a grand total of 35 cents! It was 4 cents more for the cheeseburger. Ahhhh, those were the days - less than $1.50 for our family of four!

Just a side note.....in my humble opinion, McDonald's still makes THE BEST fast food French fries ever. If you get lucky & get them right out of the fryer (supposedly they use healthier oil now) they taste incredible. On my drives back & forth to the Bay Area when my dad still lived there, I would sometimes take a bathroom break at a McDonald's. Of course, on occasion, I would get a small order of fries for a snack. Sipping a sweet tea & eating those hot, salty, crispy fries was a little taste of heaven on earth.

A few times a year I still treat myself (usually with my son or granddaughter) to a Big Mac meal. Remember the jingle from the 70s? "Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun." I know that now days it is all about kale & quinoa & health but I still love me a Big Mac & fries every now & then.

Several years after McDonald's came to town a Taco Bell opened in our neighborhood. If I recall correctly they had tacos, tostadas, burritos & a Bell burger, which was taco meat on a bun. That was it, none of the fancy items they advertise now. And I'm pretty sure that initially every item cost 25 cents.

I still love Taco Bell & so does my Charley. Whenever I give her a choice where we should get lunch she exclaims, "Taco Bell!" That's my girl! Even Doctor Oz says that if you are going to eat fast food Taco Bell's bean burrito is one of the healthiest options....lots of protein, minimal fat & sugar. I remember watching that show & pumping my fist yelling, "Yes!" when he told me my favorite bean burrito was fairly good for me.

Another thing I vividly recall was the first drive through fast food restaurant in my home town. It was a Jack in the Box & it appeared shortly after I had my driver's license. The speaker that you yelled into when ordering was a giant jack in the box clown. Now, the drive throughs have a screen to check your order & the speakers are easy to understand. Back in the old days, it was a garbled, scratchy mess when the kid asked for your order. I'm guessing they didn't hear us any better than we heard them.

One time a friend & I decided to use the still relatively new drive through option. We talked to "Jack" giving him our order of two Jumbo Jack meals with our drinks of choice. There were a couple of cars in front of us so I'm sure it took more time waiting in our car than it would have if we walked inside to order. We were either 16 or 17 & when we pulled up to the window to pay for our lunch, the kid said, "The guys in front of you paid for your order."

They were long gone having driven away with their food but I still remember the awesome feeling they gave us 50 years after the fact. Those little pay it forward type things are such a nice surprise. We would all probably be well served to do a random act of kindness for a stranger once in awhile.

CONVERSATIONS WITH CHARLEY - PART II

My recently turned five granddaughter & I have lots of fun & insightful conversations. Here are a few from recent months:

Charley:  Can I wear your glasses, Gaga?

Gaga:  Okay, but they will probably make your eyes all blurry.

Charley:  (Looking cute wearing my glasses) These are weird. It looks funny.

Gaga:  Can you see the TV? Does it look blurry?

Charley:  Yeah. But, Gaga?

Gaga:  Yes, Charley?

Charley:  Why do you wear them if they make your eyes blurry?

Gaga:  What a great question! My eyes don't work right so the glasses make me see clear, not blurry. My eyes are blurry without them.

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Charley:  Gaga, I have a joke for you.

Gaga:  Okay, what is it?

Charley:  Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

Gaga:  I don't know. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

Charley:   Because he felt crummy!

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We were in the car driving to Half Moon Bay....Darrin was driving, I was in the passenger seat & Charley was in her booster seat in the back.

Charley:  Look! There's our flag!

Gaga (looking out the right side):  Where? I don't see it.

Charley:  It's right there!

Gaga (still looking intently):  I'm sorry, Charley, but I still don't see it.

Charley (agitated & loudly):  ON THE LEFT!

Gaga:  Okay, now I see it. Thank you for telling me which way to look.

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While visiting a few of my older friends who wanted to meet Charley, I brought along several things to keep her occupied. One of those was my Kindle Fire tablet that has several games for young children downloaded on it.

My friend:  What are you doing there, Charley?

Charley:  I'm playing "Tap the Frog". (A matching game for kids.)

My friend:  That looks like fun!

Charley:  It is. And I have other games with Ballerinas & Dinosaurs.

Gaga:  They keep her interest for awhile & in this day and age kids need to learn how to work all the electronic gadgets. These games teach them how tap and drag.

Charley:  And swipe. (At five she already knows most of the terms to work a smartphone or tablet).

CALL ME MAYBE

As I was tapping & swiping away on my smart phone the other day, I came across a Facebook post that asked, "Do you remember your childhood phone number?" Of course, I immediately said to myself, "Lucerne 2-7087." It seems there were many people who also recalled their phone number from back in the days when we all had prefixes since there were tons of phone numbers entered in the comments. It also got me to thinking about other dark age telephone memories.

Did anyone else have a party line? You shared one phone line with another family. If you picked up the phone to place a call & heard talking, that meant the line was in use. You had to wait to make your call. In order to call your party line, you had to call the operator & request to be connected. Yes, we just dialed "0" & a woman magically (& quickly) came on the line to assist us.

That reminded me of Lily Tomlin's comedy bit from Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In back in the 1960s. She had a recurring character named Ernestine who was a condescending telephone operator complete with all the wires that plugged into the console. I loved her snooty, nasally lines, "One ringy-dingy. Two ringy-dingys" or "Is this the party to whom I am speaking?" If you have no idea what I'm talking about, look it up on You Tube. There are tons of clips.

In my own little world back in the day, telephones were tethered to the wall with a cord & the handset was also connected to the base unit with another cord. There was a dial with the numbers (& letters since you had to find the first two of Lucerne) that you inserted a finger into dragging the dial around to the stop then letting it rotate back before dialing the next number. You had to sit where the phone was to have a conversation with another caller.

My grandmother, Nannie, was one of the first people I knew to purchase a 50 foot cord that connected her phone to the wall. This gave her the freedom to roam the kitchen or living room while she talked to her friends. Of course, she had to carry the fairly heavy base of the phone in one hand & hold the large handset to her ear & mouth as she paced & chatted.

After hundreds of calls, the long, straight cord would begin to twist much like a yo-yo string gets tangled after a lot of use. Apparently Nannie turned, paced & stepped back over the cord as she became enthralled in her conversation. We did our best to straighten her cord but my mother had to drill into her to STOP immediately if she felt it wrapped around her legs. We certainly didn't want to find Nannie entwined in her phone cord on the kitchen floor. Since my grandfather was quite hard of hearing, she would likely have been there until his next meal!

The next innovation was the push button keypad that lit up when you picked up the handset. I'm not sure why we needed to make phone calls at night without just turning on a light but apparently we did. I think that push button method saved 30-45 seconds off the time it took to make a call - depending on how many 9s & 0s were in the phone number. The Slimline & Princess phones came in pastel colors & were the epitome of style.

I remember how exciting it was when we got our first cordless telephone! It was huge - I could barely wrap my hand around it & when it rang, you had to pull up a foot long antenna on the top of it. Looked like something straight out of a science fiction film. But, amazingly enough, you could wander around as you talked to your friend or go into the other room to find something. What will they think of next?

And that brings us to today. Do you think Alexander Graham Bell had any inkling of what his invention would become? Everyone has their own phone (a thin, small rectangle) in their purse or pocket & it works most places with no cord or antenna in sight. You can text people, look up anything on the Internet, check your Facebook or Twitter feeds, email friends, play games, take photos or videos, pay your bills, watch TV & sometimes even make a phone call on these incredible little devices. How did we ever get along without them?