"THIS IS LOU, MY...????"

In this day & age many couples are sharing a life together without the benefit of matrimony. It brings up an interesting question which I've often pondered. What do you call the man (or woman) who lives with you?

Boyfriend – I am in my 60s & am in a long term, live in, committed relationship. Calling Lou my “boyfriend” just sounds like someone I started dating a few months ago.

Partner – I know that “partner” is the term of choice for many unwed couples but it sounds more like a business relationship to me. You could easily refer to someone you just opened a restaurant with & have no intention of sleeping with as a “partner”, too.

Life Partner – So, by adding the word “life” to “partner”, it is supposed to somehow negate the business end of it. But “life partner” sort of sounds a little like a new age, this is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius, kind of thing.

Mate – Just sounds too much like an Australian buddy for my tastes.

Significant Other – The Urban Dictionary defines “significant other” as follows: “Your mate, spouse, husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, steady and/or lover. Used when you don't want to be too specific, or when the details are nobody's business.” That pretty much covers it!

POSSLQ – A term supposedly coined by the U.S. Census Bureau that just went a bit too far is “posslq” (pronounced “possil cue”) which stand for “Person of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters”. That is just plain silly. Come on, really?

Spousal Equivalent – I first heard this one mentioned by Joy Behar, formerly of The View. Apparently she lived with her “spousal equivalent” for 29 years before finally marrying him. I loved her quote when asked why, she replied, “After a honeymoon for 29 years, we decided to ruin it & get married.”

Lover – That might have been okay back when we were star-crossed “lovers” but after almost 13 years together, no one is really interested in our sex lives. I see no reason to broadcast that fact to everyone whom I introduce to Lou.

Other Half – I do tend to use this one once in awhile since it gives a somewhat endearing term without specifically stating whether marriage or co-habitating is involved.

Husband – We often call each other “husband” & “wife”. After all we are in this for life & we have made the same commitment to each other that every married couple does, just not in the eyes of the law. We wear rings on the third fingers of our left hands & I like to say that we are married in our hearts.

It's just that neither one of us wants to get married. We are together because we choose to be together each day, not because a piece of paper says we are legally bound to each other. Being a product of the 1960s I still have enough of that “rebel” mindset in me to defy the normal traditions. So far, we both continue to enjoy our unwedded bliss.

But this all puts me back to square one – what do I call Lou? More often than not, when I introduce him to someone, I simply say, “Lou, this is so & so. So & so, this is Lou.” Since we tend to hold hands a lot & it’s probably obvious that we are a couple, I’ll let them draw their own conclusions.

Anyone have any other suggestions?