SAFE AT HOME?

Have you ever had your home burglarized? It is a feeling of total violation & a sense that you will never feel safe again. Fortunately, this particular recollection is not a new experience but rather an old one that has been brought to the forefront again recently.

Back when Darrin was three, a little younger than Charley is now, I played tennis on a local women's team. My parents watched Darrin for me during the few morning hours each week. After tennis I brought my son home early one afternoon, unlocked the front door & left him in the living room playing for a few seconds while I ran back to the car to grab my tennis gear. Back in the house as I rounded the corner to the kitchen, I noticed the door to the garage was open, I thought, "I know I locked that door when I left."

The horror hit me as I realized that the door frame was splintered with pieces of wood all over the floor. Someone had smashed in the door shattering the wooden frame. I guess my natural protective mom instinct kicked in because I immediately went into the living room, picked up Darrin & said in a loud voice, "Mommy forgot something from the car," as I walked out the front door. I didn't know if anyone was still in our house!

The neighbors on one side of us both worked so I went to the retired woman's house on the other side. Fortunately, she was home & let me use her phone to call the police. Since there was nothing construed as immediate danger by the police they took their sweet time arriving. I also called my parents who were a few blocks away. My dad came over as we waited for the police.

Outside the house I noticed that the side gate to our backyard was open which I was sure I would have seen as I pulled into our driveway. We never left it open. Suddenly, my heart was racing & I felt nauseous as I wondered if someone was indeed in our house when I left my child briefly in the living room or when I grabbed him & we walked out the front door? Did they leave the gate open as they made their escape through the garage?

My father finally went in the house to look around & found nothing. Our bedroom had open drawers that had been rifled through but the only items taken were a few pieces of jewelry & our handgun. Had I interrupted the thieves? The police filed a report but they were not optimistic that anything would be recovered. It wasn't.

What really struck me was feeling unsafe in my own home. Most of the time we feel that if our doors & windows are locked we are safe in our house. It is our sanctuary that will keep us protected from harm. But yet, someone had come into my house by kicking in a door & rummaged through my drawers taking whatever they wanted. It was such a feeling of violation by strangers who invaded my territory.

I took a self defense class soon after that. Although it helped a little, it was months before I could go to bed & feel even semi-safe in my own house.

What triggered these long ago recollections is that Lou & I have noticed our neighborhood is not the safest anymore. We installed an alarm many years ago using it religiously when we leave the house. After realizing that we can arm the motion sensor from the stairway, we decided to start using the alarm at night, too. However, we quickly figured out a system to prevent us from setting it off in the morning since we've each done that once already.

Lou asked me awhile ago what I thought about getting a gun. Given the history of my grandfather being killed by gun violence & the fact that I have owned guns (& know how to use them correctly) my gut reaction was "yes". I'm okay with it if we make absolutely sure it is put away when Charley is here & we follow strict rules regarding NEVER coming home unexpectedly.

I hate that I feel compelled to want to have a gun in the house. I hate that we feel the need to set an alarm every night. I hate that I am reminded of a terrifying time when my home was invaded years ago. But mostly, I hate that Charley has to grow up in a world where this is all commonplace.

What are your thoughts?