CALL ME MAYBE

As I was tapping & swiping away on my smart phone the other day, I came across a Facebook post that asked, "Do you remember your childhood phone number?" Of course, I immediately said to myself, "Lucerne 2-7087." It seems there were many people who also recalled their phone number from back in the days when we all had prefixes since there were tons of phone numbers entered in the comments. It also got me to thinking about other dark age telephone memories.

Did anyone else have a party line? You shared one phone line with another family. If you picked up the phone to place a call & heard talking, that meant the line was in use. You had to wait to make your call. In order to call your party line, you had to call the operator & request to be connected. Yes, we just dialed "0" & a woman magically (& quickly) came on the line to assist us.

That reminded me of Lily Tomlin's comedy bit from Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In back in the 1960s. She had a recurring character named Ernestine who was a condescending telephone operator complete with all the wires that plugged into the console. I loved her snooty, nasally lines, "One ringy-dingy. Two ringy-dingys" or "Is this the party to whom I am speaking?" If you have no idea what I'm talking about, look it up on You Tube. There are tons of clips.

In my own little world back in the day, telephones were tethered to the wall with a cord & the handset was also connected to the base unit with another cord. There was a dial with the numbers (& letters since you had to find the first two of Lucerne) that you inserted a finger into dragging the dial around to the stop then letting it rotate back before dialing the next number. You had to sit where the phone was to have a conversation with another caller.

My grandmother, Nannie, was one of the first people I knew to purchase a 50 foot cord that connected her phone to the wall. This gave her the freedom to roam the kitchen or living room while she talked to her friends. Of course, she had to carry the fairly heavy base of the phone in one hand & hold the large handset to her ear & mouth as she paced & chatted.

After hundreds of calls, the long, straight cord would begin to twist much like a yo-yo string gets tangled after a lot of use. Apparently Nannie turned, paced & stepped back over the cord as she became enthralled in her conversation. We did our best to straighten her cord but my mother had to drill into her to STOP immediately if she felt it wrapped around her legs. We certainly didn't want to find Nannie entwined in her phone cord on the kitchen floor. Since my grandfather was quite hard of hearing, she would likely have been there until his next meal!

The next innovation was the push button keypad that lit up when you picked up the handset. I'm not sure why we needed to make phone calls at night without just turning on a light but apparently we did. I think that push button method saved 30-45 seconds off the time it took to make a call - depending on how many 9s & 0s were in the phone number. The Slimline & Princess phones came in pastel colors & were the epitome of style.

I remember how exciting it was when we got our first cordless telephone! It was huge - I could barely wrap my hand around it & when it rang, you had to pull up a foot long antenna on the top of it. Looked like something straight out of a science fiction film. But, amazingly enough, you could wander around as you talked to your friend or go into the other room to find something. What will they think of next?

And that brings us to today. Do you think Alexander Graham Bell had any inkling of what his invention would become? Everyone has their own phone (a thin, small rectangle) in their purse or pocket & it works most places with no cord or antenna in sight. You can text people, look up anything on the Internet, check your Facebook or Twitter feeds, email friends, play games, take photos or videos, pay your bills, watch TV & sometimes even make a phone call on these incredible little devices. How did we ever get along without them?

WAS THIS MY SIGN???

Many of you know that my mother-in-law, Bruni, passed away a couple weeks ago. She was 89 years old with a myriad of health issues. I was never apprehensive about listening to whatever Bruni wanted to say. A couple months ago Bruni told me she was ready to die, adding she wasn't afraid. Given her amount of pain & suffering I empathized completely, gladly listening to her & never discounting her feelings.

A day or two after her lung cancer diagnosis & a little over a week before she died, I had a conversation with Bruni about Heaven & the afterlife. She said she was raised Lutheran, attended church with her mother but didn't know if she really believed. I shared with her my belief that God gives everyone (good or bad, faithful in life or not) one last chance to believe & accept eternal life when they pass on.

We both discussed the stories we've heard of people who have "died" & come back to this life. How they said it was beautiful & there was a bright, white light beckoning them. Many didn't want to come back. Finally Bruni grinned & said, "You've convinced me!" I smiled back saying, "Okay, your job is to somehow let me know that I am right after you get there."

Back in the 80s, my sister, Karen, saw our Grandpa Frank hours later on the night he was shot & killed. I wrote about his murder here in a December 2015 post. Here is Karen's account: "I awoke startled but not scared & he was sitting in the chair next to my bed. I was definitely NOT dreaming. He was smiling as if to say "it's ok". I was calm, no words spoken, but I felt a sort of relief because my biggest horror of the whole thing that night was thinking about Nannie having to see him very much wounded, and when he was sitting there he looked just like he always did, so I think that's what was behind him telling me he was ok."

In 1991 on what would have been my mother's birthday a few months after her death, my then 15 year old son told me he "saw" her that night. He was quick to point out that it was like a dream but it was not a dream. He literally SAW her. She was at his model train club & told him that everything was alright but they didn't converse. She & Darrin were close, spending lots of time with his model trains. I totally believe both of their experiences.

I was on high alert looking for my sign from Bruni at her funeral & burial service but nothing happened. The next day we started cleaning out her clothes, shoes & personal things at the house. Again, no sign, nothing unusual.

Well, after dinner tonight Lou was doing the dishes & I was clearing the table when I heard a loud crash that sounded like things falling & breaking. It went on for several seconds, a lot of racket. I thought what in the world did he drop & walked into the kitchen saying, "That didn't sound good. What happened?"

Lou was still at the sink & I saw that by the fridge (6 or 8 feet from him) there were three glass Corning Ware lids on the floor. Lou said, "The cupboard just opened & the lids fell out then it closed again. Be careful, something broke." I looked but none of the lids were broken. Then we noticed that my wine glass was broken. I had set it on the counter below the cupboard to finish after dinner. The wine glass had broken in several pieces but it didn't fall over. One of the lids must have hit it on the way down. 

Lou commented that it was really weird since they fell from the top shelf of the cupboard way in the back. I agreed, it was really weird. Neither of us have touched anything up on that shelf in months, maybe years. I didn't even remember that we had those small Corning Ware dishes. Lou wondered if we had a small earthquake but nothing was shaking & we didn't feel anything. That's when I said, "Hmmmm, I wonder? Is that my sign from Bruni?"

At the risk of sounding like a whacko, before writing this post I contacted several people for their thoughts. My friend, Darlene, said, "Well, you don't have to convince me!" She related that her partner of many years contacted her a few times after her death. Another friend, Judi, explained how she & her ex-husband had agreed to contact each other in a specific way after one died. However, she figured that was null & void after they divorced & both remarried. When he died a few years ago, she was never contacted but completely believes it happens.

My sister believes it was definitely Bruni & she broke my wine glass to make sure she got my attention. I took it a step further saying that her kitchen was her domain - it was important to Bruni. When she was in the Board & Care five years ago & we were all in her kitchen putting things in the wrong places for months, she insisted on putting everything in its correct place immediately upon her return home.

Since no one has come out (so far) & told me that I am indeed a nut case I decided to share this story with all of you. So, what do you think? Have you had a similar experience? Was this my sign from Bruni that I was right?

BRUNI.....MY "MOTHER-IN-LOVE"

I lost someone very special to me last week, my mother-in-law equivalent, Bruni, who passed away on December 2, 2016. I miss her dearly.

Brunhilde Gabriela Padgug had been married to Lou’s dad for almost 35 years. Over the 15+ years that Lou & I have been together, Bruni & I developed a close, loving friendship. Many, many years ago we started referring to each other as “daughter-in-law” & “mother-in-law” even though Lou & I never legally married. Since I often say that Lou & I are “married in our hearts”, it dawned on me one day to suggest to Bruni that she could be my “mother-in-love”. She smiled broadly & said, “I like that!”

Bruni was 89 years old. She had a myriad of health issues & was a two time breast cancer survivor. The past few months she had been in terrible pain which was ultimately diagnosed as lung cancer. The transport company was scheduled to bring her home to begin hospice care last Friday at 4 PM. At 1:40 PM, I got the call from Lou that Bruni had died at the nursing home. I had just said good-bye to Charley & was driving back from the Bay Area to be there when Bruni arrived home.

I don’t want this post to be about the details of her death but rather about celebrating her life & our relationship. She was always loving & caring toward me BUT Bruni was never afraid to speak her mind which I admired greatly about her. Bruni grew up in Germany during World War II before immigrating to America as a young adult. Here is a link to the Obituary & Guestbook that Lou & his family wrote which explains more about this amazing woman. (Please disregard the ads for sending flowers.)

Five years ago Bruni suffered a terrible fall that shattered her elbow & broke her hip. It took eight months in the ICU, hospital, nursing home & a board & care to get Bruni well enough to come home. Her accident occurred less than a week after the birth of my Charley Ellen. During her time in the board & care home, I made a point of visiting her weekly – just the two of us. That is where our relationship really bloomed, moving to an even deeper level. Bruni & I shared hours & hours of “girl talk” that will remain strictly between us. As awful as that time was for Bruni & all of us something beautiful came out of it – I gained a true friend & a genuine mother-in-law. I know that Bruni felt the same way about me.

We continued our private chats these past years when “my Lou” took “her Lou” to doctor appointments. Both Lou & his dad share the same name but my Lou is not a junior since they have different middle names. Lou’s family calls him “Louis” but I’ve always preferred calling him Lou like all of his friends & acquaintances. Bruni & I came up with the “my Lou” & “your Lou” to differentiate between our two guys.

Bruni didn’t have any biological children but loved her adult stepchildren as her own. She always asked me about my Charley & took great delight in hearing my stories or seeing the latest photos of a proud grandma. When Bruni was in the board & care, Charley’s mother & I brought four month old Charley to meet Bruni. Upon seeing her, Bruni exclaimed, "What a tiny baby! Can I hold her?” Bruni’s face lit up as she smiled down at our little sweetheart in her arms.

We shared many meaningful discussions regarding end of life among other things over the past month. The last time I talked to Bruni was in the nursing home less than 48 hours before she died. The entire family met in her room with a hospice nurse to gather information & learn about the program. When I took her hand & bent down to kiss her good-bye she squeezed my hand tightly & pulled me to her. She whispered something in my ear that was typical Bruni & brought a huge smile to my face. In a room full of people Bruni shared something intimate & personal with me – which will remain just between us. We both smiled broadly & I said, “I love you” to which she replied “I love you, too.” Those were the last words we spoke to each other. 

LITTLE BITS OF CHARLEY

Today I found a small hairclip in the recessed handle of my upstairs dresser as I went to open a drawer. My Charley put it there on her last visit. For the past year when Darrin & Charley stay with us, we find all sorts of pleasant little reminders in various places around the house.

I have tons of old costume jewelry in a big box on my dresser. The huge majority of it I never wear so it has become Charley's "treasure" chest. For years she has known she can play with all of it. Necklaces & Mardi Gras beads are hung over every doorknob, every handle & every place that something can be hung. My straw hat that rests on a small table upstairs is adorned with a beaded necklace & an earring hung through the brim.

The most fun are the surprises. A few weeks ago, I was dusting the top of our huge king size headboard upstairs. It has a mirror behind it & cupboards on the sides. In order to dust the top I have to stand on the bed. To my delight, I discovered a bright pink feather from her boa & a bracelet perched on top of the headboard!

Following a previous visit, I noticed my old watch laying on the edge of the stand that holds our world globe. The globe resides on the landing halfway down the stairs where they change direction. Every time I walked down the stairs I noticed the watch & smiled. After several days Lou asked, "Did you know Charley put your watch on the globe?" I grinned & replied, "Yep, makes me feel all warm & fuzzy every time I see it." I didn't move it until a few days before her next visit.

Our downstairs bathroom has a jungle type theme. On top of the toilet tank I have three small animal print votive candles. I normally arrange them in a single level triangle. Every time Charley is here she stacks them on top of each other. They stay that way for days or sometimes weeks - again, always bringing a smile to my face each time I see them.

There is also a small leopard print decorative box on top of the toilet. The lid flips open & inside I have a couple of plastic bugs. The story behind the bugs is that many years ago, Lou & I stayed in a castle hotel in Wales. There was a huge tower with turrets & a tall spiral staircase that guests could explore. A few tiny bedrooms were passed on the way up. Finally there was another small room with a bed, table & lamp at the very top. The bed was made but turned back as if it was ready for someone to climb in. Being nosey, I pulled the covers back a little & squealed when it revealed a giant plastic spider!

It must be human nature to look into or under things so I bought the bugs to good-naturedly startle people who might peek into the little box. Charley knows they are in there but rarely plays with them. A couple hours after they left, I observed the two plastic bugs relaxing on top of the box. They will likely remain there for several more weeks.

My dad still has necklaces, beads & rubber bands hanging off of his exercise bike & has no plans to move them anytime soon. He has an old small straw broom which now has multi-colored pipe cleaners sticking out all over it. That, too, will stay put. It really is an interesting piece of "Charley art". He has the same feeling as I do - that they make it seem just a little bit more like our Charley is close by.

We put up my dad's four foot artificial Christmas tree & decorations with Charley last week. She really wanted to do the decorating so we let her put the ornaments & candy canes on the tree all by herself. I showed her how to stand back to see where she needed to put another ornament. She was thrilled to be completely in charge of the decorating pointing out that she had never decorated a Christmas tree all by herself.

Sure, the ornaments aren't spaced evenly & there aren't any at all on the back - the candy canes seem to be lumped together near the bottom within easy reach. But it is the most beautifully decorated tree I have every seen! We were all in agreement that we wouldn't change a single thing since our Charley was the sole designer. She will be back on December 29th & we are having what her daddy has dubbed "Second Christmas" with all our presents under her perfectly decorated Christmas tree!