PERSPECTIVES ON AGING

"I yam what I yam & that's all what I am, I'm Popeye the Sailor Man.

I'm strong to the finich, 'cause I eats my spinach, I'm Popeye the Sailor Man!"

Those of you who are around my age might remember the old "Popeye, the Sailor Man" cartoons from the 50s & 60s or earlier (if not, you can just go ahead & think I'm a little off my rocker - which I am). For some reason that old song that Popeye always sang after he ate his can of spinach & made short order of the bad guys has always stuck in my head. The whole thing was completely politically incorrect but most things were back then.

This evening it was the "I yam what I yam" part that had my mind spinning in regards to my "Thoughts on Aging" blog post last week. I heard from a lot of you - mostly women - in response to that blog who were feeling the same things. Apparently, there is quite a camaraderie between all of us old folks as we make our way through senior citizenship.

I so much want to be okay with the years adding up, with a few extra pounds & with some more wrinkles. I want to say to myself, "I am what I am", AND, here's the trick, really believe it. Our world is so geared to youth & vitality & wanting to look like a super model - not that I ever did but somewhere inside, I felt it. Years ago I recall Tyra Banks on a campaign to stop the unrealistic goals of young girls & women saying, "They think everyone should look like Tyra Banks. Hell, most of the time I don't even look like Tyra Banks."

My hope is that all of us "fourth quarter women" can truly say "I am what I am" & be proud of the fact that every ache, every pain, every wrinkle, every pound, every gray hair, every year was born of a lot of life well lived & a ton of people well loved.

My Charley doesn't care if Gaga has an extra roll or two around her middle when we snuggle up under a blanket to watch TV or read. She doesn't think twice if the selfie we take shows Gaga's wrinkles under her chin. She cares about the love & comfort & safety she feels with Gaga's arms around her.

My Darrin doesn't care that his mom has most definitely turned into a grandma over the years - at least I don't think he does. He cares that I am there for him unconditionally, always, for anything. He posted some wonderful Mother's Day thoughts & photos on my Facebook page which warmed my heart more than he knows, reinforced my beliefs & made me cry. If you haven't seen them, check out my Facebook. 

My Lou would love it if I wasn't turning into an old lady before his eyes but I hope that he, too, accepts that time does indeed take its toll on each one of us. He still gives me heartfelt cards for every occasion & tells me he loves me daily after almost 16 years together. Sharing a history with each other is what matters.

The point I want to make is that I believe each of these three most precious people in my life love me for who I am on the inside, not the outside. I can't control the outside or the passing of time, but I can control the caring & loving from the inside. As I've aged I think my capacity to love has increased tremendously. Grandchildren give you a perspective on unconditional love & aging that nothing else can.

As time ticks by, I will do my best to embrace every single sign of aging - wrinkles, aches, pounds, gray hair - because although it may all show on the exterior, on the inside I still feel young, vital & thrilled to be a part of this wonderful life. Somewhere inside there remains a fucking amazing super model that is grinning from ear to ear & thinking, "Eat your heart out Tyra Banks! You aint' got nothing on me, girl. I yam what I yam!"