CRUISE NAILS!

I’m sitting here looking down at my long, square cut, sparkly purple fingernails! In my 67 years on this earth, I have never had any kind of artificial nails…..until yesterday. After a crazy couple of weeks with my dad in the ER, the hospital & finally back home with more care, doctor appointments & home health nurses literally every single day, it was past time to treat myself to something special for our upcoming cruise to Iceland, Greenland & Norway.

With my dad on the road to recovery, I made an appointment for a gel manicure & wanted to ask about tips to increase the length. This was a wild & crazy step for me! I’m afraid of acrylic nails that cover the entire nail. I have known a couple friends who had an awful time when they were taken off ruining their natural nails until they completely grew out. Nope….not doing that.

When I had my hair trimmed a couple weeks ago, the stylist I always go to had moved to a new location. Next to her station was a woman who does nails….a woman whose native language is English, who makes appointments & doesn’t rush like crazy if another customer comes in the door that she doesn’t want to turn away.

This woman explained how tips work with various options for this nail neophyte. She explained that they will grow out completely in just a few months since they are only glued on about the first 1/8 to 3/16 inch of each nail. She suggested doing something glitzy for the cruise. I figured, “What the hell, do something crazy, Kath! Go for the bling!” Then I went even crazier & had her make them square cut since I’ve never had nails long enough to do square. Probably should have stuck with oval but, hey, might as well go for the gusto, right?

Even though they are long for me, they are probably short by most fingernail standards. But I’ve got to tell you there are sacrifices to be made with longer fingernails. For example, it is not easy to type. I seem to leave out or add letters all the time. Hopefully, I’ll learn how to type better as I practice because this is a necessary part of my life. Otherwise, this may be the only cruise on which I sport fancy fingernails.

Today while going about my day running errands I discovered that getting a credit card out of your wallet could be quite an ordeal. It took me long enough at CVS that it was getting uncomfortable watching me try. I was close to asking the clerk to pull it out for me when I finally got it. Geez! Things like scratching your head or picking up tiny, flat objects can also be a bit challenging. Not to mention that several times today I would catch a glimpse of my long, glittery, purple nails & think, "Whose hands are those?"

Yesterday morning before my appointment, I decided to polish my own toenails. I had a bad experience with a pedicure a few years ago & just do my own. But it is getting harder & harder. Removing the old polish isn’t easy since pulling my foot up into my lap with the toes facing up is a bit more difficult now days. And when the new polish goes on, it is getting tougher & tougher to see well enough for the detailed brushwork.

I usually sit on the kitchen floor by the sliding glass door for natural light along with the overhead lights on. After the first coat of polish was on one foot my cell phone rang….in the living room. “Damn it!” I exclaimed since it was likely a doctor’s office or home health nurse calling. Remember, I’m sitting on the floor with wet toenails so I can’t slide my foot under me or twist onto my knee without smearing the polish everywhere. By the time I managed to pull myself upright with purple toes intact, my phone had stopped ringing.

About this time, Lou walks in & says, “Your phone is ringing.” I simply replied, “Yes, sweetie, I know.” I called the number back saying I just missed a call from this number. It was indeed, a home health nurse scheduling a visit to my dad. I eased back down to the well lit corner of the floor with my phone close by to finish my toes. I wonder how long I'll be able to contort myself enough to polish my own toenails? Hmmm, when Charley is a little older, maybe I can pay her to do them for me?