OMFG

Lou & I are intelligent people. We are seasoned travelers. We are fairly well versed in using the Internet & can operate most websites. But this afternoon we met our match!

Our mission was to fill out our applications for an Indian visa for our upcoming trip. It has taken weeks of research to figure out what we needed & how to go about obtaining it. But that was child's play compared to actually applying for the damn thing on their website - which appears to be the only way to do it other than paying an independent visa company at least double the cost - & you still have to fill out all the forms correctly.

Apparently the Indian Consulate has contracted with one visa service, CKGS, that does ALL of the Indian visas. Our state department, their state department & my guess is, any other visa service, must go through CKGS to obtain a visa to visit India. There is a simpler e-visa BUT it is only good for two entries into India. Our cruise stops at three ports & following the cruise we are flying to Delhi for two nights. We needed a regular visa - which according to all accounts is much more involved. OMFG, were they ever right!

We went to the CKGS website to apply. The process involves filling out initial information on their site before being redirected to the Consulate General of India website to fill out their form & print it. You are then sent back to CKGS to answer more questions, print that page & finally book an appointment in San Francisco to deliver all of your forms, passport, ID, payment & a photo that has a ton of rules & regulations - totally white background, no glasses, no hair covering your face, straight on, no tilted head, etc, etc. You can mail all of the forms in but we elected to actually have someone check it in person.

All of that may have been do-able IF the website had even sort of worked correctly. Lou was at his computer & I was at mine trying to figure out each step as we progressed. Our goal was to get to the book appointment part at the same time & schedule our appointments next to each other. You will not believe how many times one or the other of us had to start over when a webpage froze up. Or how many times one of us had to stop & help the other. Or how many times I said "Fuck" - well, if you know me, you probably do believe that!

You are given a temporary number in case you have to log back in to your application. But the numbers never worked to get back into the site! We had three different confirmation or application numbers but couldn't get any of them work. A phone call only produced a recording referring us to the website. At one point Lou called the CKGS line after we had hit yet another roadblock. All of the numbers were alpha numeric with several letters. The recording told him to enter his application number. How do you enter a 12 digit number with letters & numbers on a phone keypad??? He tried speaking the number but that didn't work either. Talk about sheer frustration.

Both of us felt like we had been dragged through the wringer when finally, almost 4 hours later (literally), Lou clicked the button & the "Order Receipt" appeared on his screen. I yelled, "Hallelujah!" & we high-fived like we scored the winning touchdown!

All of our paperwork is filled out & printed but that is just the start. We must sign in three boxes & if our signature goes out of the box at all, it will be rejected. Next up is to take the photos which will also be rejected if they don't meet the exact criteria. I'm a little freaked out about our February 12th appointments at 11:12 AM & 11:23 AM to make sure our forms have all the "i's" dotted & "t's" crossed. Shit, I just want to visit the damn country, not buy it!

As I was starting over from scratch with my India Consulate application that somehow disappeared, Lou started looking at some of the website reviews while he waited for me to catch up. Here are just a few that made me feel a lot better knowing we weren't alone!

"I'm beyond frustrated at this point. I have never encountered a more dysfunctional application system."

"I had heard from many others that applying for a VISA through CKGS was going to be a hellish experience.  They were right."

"Website is a piece of crap! Pathetic, nothing on their system works."

The Better Business Bureau reports that CKGS has a customer approval rating of 1.2 out of a possible 5. I have decided that CKGS does indeed translate into OMFG! I have a bad feeling that this saga is far from over. I hope to hell I'm wrong but I'll keep you posted on the outcome. I've pretty much decided that India doesn't want tourists. Making it this hard to get a frickin' visa is not the way to encourage visitors to your country!

MORTALITY IS CREEPING IN

A week & a half ago, I had a sore hip that might be bursitis or might be a hip flexor muscle issue.  Today I am doing my best to come to terms with the fact that I most likely need hip replacement surgery. I've spent the past ten days talking to everyone I know who either had or is well versed in hip replacements & doing hours of research online.

I think what it is that I'm having difficulty wrapping my brain around is that for the first time in my life, my body has failed me. That is not an easy thing to accept. In the past, my body has healed itself & I moved on with my life relatively pain free. Not this time. I'm going to need some serious assistance from the medical world to move forward.

For the first time where my health is concerned I feel vulnerable & somewhat fragile. What the hell, me & hip replacement don't belong in the same sentence. Every time I stand up I am reminded that I can't walk without pain & limping. If I had to run to save my life, maybe I could do it, but I'm not really sure. Yes, I'm 67 years old, almost 68, but I sure as hell don't feel "old". However, my body is telling me otherwise. And that fucking sucks.

Yesterday, I turned an acquaintance into a new friend. It is kind of an interesting story. When my dad moved to Sun City in Roseville there is a golf course & deli just a few blocks from his house. They make great sandwiches & we stop by to purchase them often. The woman who works there, Pam, & I have been chatting for the five minutes it takes to complete our order for years. It is amazing what you can discuss in just a few minutes.

Many months ago I started telling her that someday I would stop by near her quitting time & have a glass of wine to get to know her better. She said, please do it & I'll join you. Well, yesterday I took her up on it. I stopped by the deli/clubhouse at 3:30 PM. Pam had already closed up so she poured us each a glass of wine & we headed to one of the tables.

Turns out we have a lot in common. Both of us are in long term, committed relationships without feeling a need for marriage. We both have an elderly parent. Both of us are in need of a joint replacement. She limped to the table with a bad knee & I did the same with my hip. As I knew we would, we hit it off & talked for over an hour over a couple glasses of wine. You know how there are some people you just click with? Yeah, Pam is one of those women for me. We commiserated about all of these "old age" limitations & other bullshit that has to be handled at our ages.

There were two young men (probably in their 20s) working in the pro shop who were wrapping up to go home. Pam told them to enjoy their youth because it won't last. We both reiterated that sentiment. They smiled & said they would - but they probably won't. They likely just brushed it off as two old ladies with unwanted advice - as one of them helped me figure out how to show Pam photos of Charley on my cell phone without words in front of them. That is just a fact of life that we need the younger generation to work these damn things.

As I told my 41 year old son a couple weeks ago that my 25 years of running had finally caught up with me, he informed me that he was training for a half marathon in March. It got me thinking, would I have NOT done all that running if I knew that at almost 70 years of age I'd be facing a hip replacement? My answer was a resounding "NO"!. I want every 20, 30 or 40 year old to embrace life & live it how they see fit. None of us can predict the future nor can we really know if our past did indeed influence that future.

All any of us can do is live our lives to the best of our abilities. Yes, try to eat fairly well & take care of ourselves but in the end do what makes you happy & enjoy every ounce of this thing we call life. It is the only one we have & I'm reminded of an old saying I've heard many times. Not sure who said it but they were right on.

"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive & well preserved body. But rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body used up, worn out & screaming, "Woo Hoo, what a ride!"

AN INEXACT SCIENCE

Most people tend to believe that when you are sick or injured, you go to the doctor or hospital, they ask you questions, run a few tests then do something or give you something to fix you up. Over the years I've learned that even the most educated & experienced medical professionals don't have all the answers. Often times medicine is an inexact science at best.

I was reminded of that these past few weeks while looking for answers to my almost constant hip pain for the last several months. In the past month I've seen three different health care providers & received three different theories as to why my hip hurts like hell.

After a couple of visits to my chiropractor with no improvement, I made an appointment with my primary care doctor in late November. She asked me questions about my pain, poked, prodded & came to the conclusion that I had arthritis coupled with trochanteric bursitis. She suggested I get an x-ray (which confirmed the presence of mild arthritis) & try round the clock ibuprofen for a week to knock down the inflammation. That didn't help. Next we tried a cortisone injection into the bursa sack. That didn't help. She referred me to physical therapy & an orthopedic specialist.

Of course, referrals to other health care departments seem to travel at a snail's pace, especially when you are hurting. I'd like to think they can do things quicker when you have a really serious condition. Last week I saw the physical therapist for the first time. After extensive questioning, he believes that the cause of my pain isn't arthritis or bursitis but the hip flexor muscle which has tightened up over the years causing pain when it stretches. He believes an exercise program targeting the hip flexor is the place to start. I was heartened that maybe it was something which I could diligently improve over the next few months.

This morning I saw the orthopedic specialist. He again questioned me extensively about the pain type & location. I explained that I had already received diagnoses of arthritis & bursitis & a hip flexor issue. He had me lay down & moved my leg up, down, sideways with bent knees & straight asking me when it hurt.

When finished, he said simply, "It's your hip. It is wearing out & you will ultimately need hip replacement surgery." I replied, "Well, hell. That's not what I wanted to hear." In the meantime he suggested a cortisone shot into the hip joint (rather than the bursa) that is done with an x-ray to make sure the placement is exact. He is sure that will help but it cannot be done more often than every three months. He suggested, & I agreed, that we wait until a few weeks before our big cruise in April. I have scheduled it for March 15.

So, there you have it. Three different diagnoses from three different health care professionals. I'm going to do my homework - researching online & talking to anyone who has had hip replacement surgery. If you or anyone close to you has had hip replacement surgery, please let me pick your brain. I am continuing the physical therapy & exercises just in case that does indeed help. Maybe the injection will work & last longer than three months. Or maybe it will ease up when the weather warms up. I am keeping an open mind & treating surgery as an absolute last resort. At almost 68 years old I have never had major surgery in my life.

I won't rule out any results which are outside of the box of conventional wisdom when it comes to all my options. I am reminded of the time almost four years ago when my dad had half of his foot amputated due to cellulitis & gangrene. It was not healing after weeks of hyperbaric chamber treatment, a couple of surgeries, lots of debriding & numerous wound care procedures.

My dad's fantastic surgical podiatrist made appointments for him to be seen at UCSF Medical Center in San Francisco, THE best hospital for tough cases in Northern California. The head of their Vascular Surgery department did a procedure on my dad to examine the blood flow to his foot. He found me in the waiting room & told me, "It will never heal. He needs a below the knee amputation."

That fantastic surgical podiatrist looked at me the next day & said sincerely, "I don't think that's true. I think it will heal in time." He went above & beyond, making house calls, providing wound care & finding a brace to keep his weight off of the foot. And guess what? It did heal, slowly but surely. My dad still has that leg today. Although it is missing half a foot, he can still walk with his walker. Even the best doctors don't have all the solutions. Medicine is most definitely an inexact science.