A week & a half ago, I
had a sore hip that might be bursitis or might be a hip flexor muscle
issue. Today I am doing my best to come
to terms with the fact that I most likely need hip replacement surgery. I've spent
the past ten days talking to everyone I know who either had or is well versed
in hip replacements & doing hours of research online.
I think what it is that I'm
having difficulty wrapping my brain around is that for the first time in my
life, my body has failed me. That is not an easy thing to accept. In the past,
my body has healed itself & I moved on with my life relatively pain free.
Not this time. I'm going to need some serious assistance from the medical world
to move forward.
For the first time where my
health is concerned I feel vulnerable & somewhat fragile. What the hell, me & hip replacement don't belong in the same sentence. Every time I
stand up I am reminded that I can't walk without pain & limping. If I had to run to
save my life, maybe I could do it, but I'm not really sure. Yes, I'm 67 years
old, almost 68, but I sure as hell don't feel "old". However, my body
is telling me otherwise. And that fucking sucks.
Yesterday, I turned an
acquaintance into a new friend. It is kind of an interesting story. When my dad
moved to Sun City in Roseville
Many months ago I started
telling her that someday I would stop by near her quitting time & have a
glass of wine to get to know her better. She said, please do it & I'll join
you. Well, yesterday I took her up on it. I stopped by the deli/clubhouse at 3:30
PM. Pam had already closed up so she poured us each a glass of wine & we
headed to one of the tables.
Turns out we have a lot in
common. Both of us are in long term, committed relationships without feeling a
need for marriage. We both have an elderly parent. Both of us are in need of a
joint replacement. She limped to the table with a bad knee & I did the same
with my hip. As I knew we would, we hit it off & talked for over an hour
over a couple glasses of wine. You know how there are some people you just
click with? Yeah, Pam is one of those women for me. We commiserated about all
of these "old age" limitations & other bullshit that has to be
handled at our ages.
There were two young men
(probably in their 20s) working in the pro shop who were wrapping up to go
home. Pam told them to enjoy their youth because it won't last. We both
reiterated that sentiment. They smiled & said they would - but they probably
won't. They likely just brushed it off as two old ladies with unwanted advice -
as one of them helped me figure out how to show Pam photos of Charley on my cell phone without
words in front of them. That is just a fact of life that we need the younger
generation to work these damn things.
As I told my 41 year old son
a couple weeks ago that my 25 years of running had finally caught up with me,
he informed me that he was training for a half marathon in March. It got me
thinking, would I have NOT done all that running if I knew that at almost 70
years of age I'd be facing a hip replacement? My answer was a resounding "NO"!.
I want every 20, 30 or 40 year old to embrace life & live it how they see
fit. None of us can predict the future nor can we really know if our past did
indeed influence that future.
All any of us can do is live
our lives to the best of our abilities. Yes, try to eat fairly well & take
care of ourselves but in the end do what makes you happy & enjoy every
ounce of this thing we call life. It is the only one we have & I'm reminded
of an old saying I've heard many times. Not sure who said it but they were
right on.
"Life should not be a
journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive
& well preserved body. But rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one
hand, wine in the other, body used up, worn out & screaming, "Woo Hoo,
what a ride!"
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