CAFE DE'CAY

Looking at scary decorations today I was reminded of some of my son's epic Halloween creations. Darrin always loved the costumes & makeup part of Halloween. That was probably the artist in him emerging. Too old to Trick or Treat when he was about 13 or 14 he decided to dress up as Freddy Krueger from "Nightmare on Elm Street". He had an old hat that resembled the one Freddy wore that inspired him. Darrin loved being the one who dressed up to give out the candy.

Of course, Mom got in on it by perusing the thrift stores until I found a red & gray striped sweater that was perfect for Freddy. Darrin got to work on his makeup using smudged eyeliner all over his face to create the scars & added some fake blood to finish the look. He had a toy glove from Toys R Us that had the long razor fingers (plastic ones) Freddy was famous for to complete his outfit.

Darrin still wore eyeglasses & unfortunately he couldn't see well enough without them to enjoy his evening. He solved that problem by putting a beach chair on the porch surrounded by a plastic bucket & shovel, a tropical drink, an umbrella, even a bit of sand & wore his prescription sunglasses.

The following year was probably our best Halloween extravaganza! Darrin & I came up with the idea of Cafe De'Cay. We had a carport on the side of our house with a gate at the end that led to the backyard. Under the carport we set up a small table with a black tablecloth. In the two chairs we sat a skeleton & a grim reaper. A vase with black roses rested on the table. Spider webs adorned the entire gruesome scene. Rubber bats & plastic spiders dangled from the ceiling. A large poster board Cafe De'Cay sign in the front attracted our "customers".

But the real attraction was the tour of the Cafe De'Cay kitchen which we offered those brave enough to enter. In the dark backyard with some eerie lighting & music playing we set up a couple of folding tables covered in white sheets adorned with fake blood, fake fingers, plastic knives & cleavers along with other assorted bizarre, creepy items.

I made aprons for our chefs, Darrin, his best friend & his dad, from old white sheets. Another trip to the thrift store for long sleeve white shirts made a good background for our bottles of more fake blood. My creative juices were flowing as I had the great idea to make chef hats using a strip of white poster board wrapped around their heads & stapled (to itself, not their heads). Tissue paper bunched up on the top made the ballooned tops. They all looked pretty good if I do say so myself.

A day or two before Halloween we went to a few supermarkets & bought several kidneys, livers & a few hearts of something or other. It was pretty gross in our fridge for a couple days. Darrin & his friend made a disgusting soup of god only knows what. They spread out all the internal organs on dishes placed on the tables, drizzled blood all over & made a gag worthy concoction of meals.

The guys made up their faces to look really scary & manned the tables to gross out the kids willing to tour the kitchen. Donning my witch costume I stayed out front to give candy to the little kids & ask the older ones if they would like a complimentary tour of the backyard kitchen. I only let a few back at a time while the others listened to the screams from the yard.

One poor little girl wouldn't even come up to the carport so I walked out to the sidewalk with some candy for her. She tentatively asked, "Is Freddy back there?" I replied, "No, Freddy isn't here." She skeptically said, "He was here last year." Guess Darrin made quite an impression.

That was great fun back in the day. Lately it seems that we are reduced to handing out candy to teenagers carrying pillowcases who aren't really dressed as anything. It is fun interacting with the little kids but they seem to be fewer & fewer. Two years ago we ran out of candy pretty early so last year I bought a lot more. There were less kids than usual which meant we were munching on candy until Christmas.

I told Lou I think I'd prefer a year off from all the Trick or Treaters. So, maybe we'll go out to dinner & a movie or just hide in the back of the house with the lights off.

Happy Halloween! Enjoy!

AIRPORT SECURITY

Most of you know that as of July 17, 2018, I have a new, rather large piece of surgically implanted metal where my right hip used to be. I have flown to New Mexico twice since my artificial hip joint has been in place. In years past doctors used to give you a card stating that you had a metal joint & would set off the metal detectors. With today's technology they no longer issue those cards since anyone can print one up on their computer then theoretically hide a weapon where their hip should be. I haven't a clue how you would do that without looking like you had strapped a gun to your side.

Both times they directed me toward the x-ray/scanner machine. You know the drill, hands above your head, feet apart & don't breathe. Every single time the screen shows that my right knee has metal but nothing shows up on my right hip - which is metal. This makes no sense whatsoever. Then a woman TSA agent has to come feel my knee & tell me, "You're fine. Go ahead." If I happen to have on a top with some sparkles on it those show up, too. A quick swipe of my shoulder also has them telling me to go ahead.

This is nuts but I know the drill - how else are we going to keep the friendly skies safe? Okay, this past trip I had to change planes in San Diego. We arrived at Gate 3 & my next flight left from Gate 1. Score! It's a simple, quick, close by walk. Since I left in the early, early morning, I was starving when I arrived & found a couple of breakfast options. I chose the $17 eggs, bacon & potatoes. Airport prices are ridiculous!

With a full tummy, I saw that Gate 4 was to my left  & Gate 3 in front of me, so I headed right looking for Gate 1. There was a small sign with an arrow pointing down a hallway for Gates 1, 1A & 2. I asked a gate agent where Gate 1 was located & was told I needed to go out through security, walk past the ticket counters & go back through security to Gate 1. What the hell?

I had about half an hour before my flight boarded. As I approached the security line, I saw that it was fairly long. But I had "TSA Pre". If you travel you know that means you are expedited through security & don't have to remove your shoes, your jacket, your quart bag of liquids, your electronics & Lord know what else from your carry on bag. BUT there was no sign for the TSA Pre line. Knowing the answer, I asked anyway, "Do you have a TSA Pre line?" The agent replied, "No, but here is a card that will help." The bright pink card read, "You may keep your shoes on during the screening."

Finally reaching the x-ray machine, I was told that I had to remove all my electronics. my quart bag & anything else that might set off the metal detector.....BUT I could keep my shoes on! Not at all prepared I found my phone, my Kindle, my quart bag, my other Kindle & put them in a bin to be screened. Then I remembered to tell them I have an artificial hip. I was told to step over to the x-ray scanning machine. I waited & I waited for a female agent to appear.

Once again, the machine said my knee had metal, not my hip. Trying to keep an eye on my belongings off to the side I told the male agent, "I don't care if you feel my knee," to which he replied, "I can't by law. It has to be a woman." Finally the woman arrives, does her cursory feeling of my knee, which is fine, but she also says that my right foot shows metal. WTF??? I remove my right shoe & she feels my foot. She declares it is fine but my shoe has to go back through the metal detector.

At this point, the agent working the machine says, "Whose bag is this?" It was my carry on, of course. He opens it & finds my full reusable water bottle. Having already gone through security in Sacramento, I filled up my water bottle & forgot about it. He says, "You have to go back through security & empty it." I replied, "I only have one shoe since she is checking the other one. And my flight is boarding in like five minutes." I considered playing the hip replacement card & limping laboriously toward him but decided against it. My patience was wearing thin but I know better than to argue with them. I asked if he could just go empty it for me but he said I had to be with him.

By now, I'm trying to gather my electronics, my quart bag, my carry on bag, find my shoe & make sure I still have everything I started with. Suddenly I spotted my shoe on the conveyor belt, apparently it had passed inspection & wasn't equipped with God knows what to take down the plane. I turned & the agent had apparently taken pity on me & emptied my water bottle since he returned the empty bottle to me & said, "Have a nice flight."

I took a deep breath, put my shoe back on, took inventory of all my stuff & sat down. Two minutes later they started boarding my flight. I think I will avoid changing planes in San Diego from now on.