Monday, January 14, 2019

MYSTERY DRUGS

A couple months ago I made a puzzling discovery in my medicine cabinet. Sitting on one of the shelves, kind of hidden by a few other things, was a huge bottle of bright orange ibuprofen tablets. I pulled it out & wondered how it got there. Upon further inspection it was Kirkland brand & there were 500 pills in it.

Those of you who shop at Costco probably recognize Kirkland as one of their store brands. I realize that isn't anything unusual except that I don't belong to Costco & don't shop at Costco, except on rare occasions with my sister who has a Costco card. I had no recollection of her giving me a giant bottle of ibuprofen but I was thinking that must have been the case since I don't know anyone else who shops at Costco. And certainly no one who would share that with me. The bottle had not been opened & had an expiration date just a few months away.

That reminds me, I want to share the results of a study regarding medication expiration dates that I ran across a few years ago. An independent company did testing on prescription & over-the-counter medications potency after their expiration dates. It found that virtually all medications were still effective two years beyond their expiration dates. And some were still effective up to 15 years after the expiration date! Even if you took a long expired medication it would not hurt you but simply wouldn't be as effective. I was amazed & figured I could safely use things up to two years past the printed dates.

But, I digress, back to my mystery bottle of medication. Since my hip surgery & my constant foot pain issues, I do use ibuprofen fairly regularly. Given the fact that my current bottle of 100 was good for at least another year & a half, I decided to open my newly found enormous container of 500 & use them first since their expiration date was April 2019.

A few days ago, I finally remembered to ask my sister if she gave them to me. Nope, she didn't give them to me. I described the Kirkland name & really big bottle of 500 orange pills but she said she hadn't bought those. However, she had seen them & knew what I was talking about. She added that they come in a sealed pack of TWO bottles. Of course, they do, it's Costco. Everyone needs 1000 ibuprofen tablets.

So, they didn't come from my sister. I decided to ask Lou next thinking maybe someone had given them to his father who can't take ibuprofen & he brought them home. I showed him the bottle saying I found it in the medicine cabinet. He shook his head & said, no, he hadn't seen them before. The mystery intensified. Where did they come from??? They didn't just materialize inside our cupboard, did they? I was at a loss to explain their appearance.

It was after my dad died that I found them & briefly wondered if I'd found them at his house when we cleaned it out. But he couldn't take ibuprofen due to using blood thinners & all of his caregivers knew that. No one would have brought them to him if they even shopped at Costco which I don't think they did. And I may be a little crazy once in awhile but I certainly did not bring home that huge bottle, put it in the medicine chest then wipe it from my memory with no recollection of doing it.

To this day I have no idea how we came to have a gigantic unopened bottle of Kirkland ibuprofen in our downstairs bathroom. If they were just conjured up by some unknown super natural phenomenon, I guess that's okay but why couldn't it have been something a little more valuable or exciting than pain relievers? How about a bag of gold coins? Or what about a box of diamonds? Hell, maybe even a couple of tickets to a ball game?

Since I have no clue where they came from or any more thoughts of who to ask, I am resigned to the fact that their presence may well remain a mystery. But, if by chance, any of you gifted me with all this ibuprofen, please let me know. That will solve the mystery of where the ibuprofen came from but will bring a new question - where has my brain gone?

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