HOT, HOT, HOT!

Goofy things seem to happen to me sometimes. I'm one of those people who have this uncanny ability to attract bizarre events on occasion. As I've aged those episodes seem to have subsided somewhat but every now and then one of them crops up to let me know just how crazy little things in my life can be.

Maybe I come by it naturally since my dad has had a few of them, too, and he sometimes shared them with me. For example, here is one he shared many years ago. He used a tube of Brylcreem on his hair. Why anyone would take squeaky clean, damp hair and put sticky goop in it every day is beyond me but he did. One day he related the story that he accidentally picked up the Brylcreem instead of his toothpaste, put it on his brush and began to clean his teeth. A few seconds later he realized he was brushing his teeth with hair cream and it took him hours to get the taste out of his mouth.

I wondered why he would tell anyone about this faux pas but here I am about to relate one of mine tonight. Must run in the family. I have an arsenal of creams and topical medications that supposedly relieve arthritis and neuropathy that I've purchased over the years. Nothing seems to help a lot but I continue to try various remedies in the hopes that they will lessen the pain of these two afflictions.

I have a roll on applicator of liquid capzasin, a topical analgesic derived from pepper that is supposed to relieve the pain of arthritis. The other night one of the fingers on my right hand that was injured 15 years ago was bothering me a fair amount. I decided to rub some capzasin into that finger. After liberally slathering it onto my right finger, I used my left hand to rub it in thoroughly. Initially the only relief I felt was minimal as it is with any of these treatments.

Shortly thereafter, not thinking, I rubbed my left hand along my upper lip to wipe off my mouth. Then I scratched my nose with my right hand. Within about thirty seconds my mouth began to burn like hell followed quickly by my nose. "Damn, that hurts", was the first thought that went through my mind. I immediately headed to the bathroom using a wet wash cloth to wash off my mouth and nose. It didn't help.....at all.

The burning and pain was not going away but seemed to be intensifying. I quickly searched "how to stop the burning of capzasin" on my computer. The primary antidote was to dab on a mixture of vinegar and water to ease the effects of capzasin. I semi-ran to the kitchen to see if we had any vinegar. I knew where it would be and, finally, behind the olive oil, honey and other spices, located an old bottle of red wine vinegar. Hallelujah!

I diluted it with some water as Google suggested then used a paper towel to dab it all over my mouth and nose. I was feeling a bit of relief in a really short time. You gotta love the internet! Thank God that whatever you need can usually be found there with little effort. Within minutes there was only a minor feeling of tingling pain that was certainly bearable compared to what it was twenty minutes prior.

Even though I enjoyed the relief of NOT having a painful, burning mouth and nose, I was scared to death of touching my face or heaven forbid, my eyes. I washed my hands with soap twice but was not taking the chance of experiencing that pain yet again. I was back to day one of covid protocols - don't touch your face!

Why did I share this with you? I have no idea. Maybe it is some sort of genetic defect that I share with my father in telling others stupid things that we have done to ourselves. Maybe there is some sort of human failing that we feel the need to express to friends and family. Or maybe there just isn't a rational explanation.

And remember, if for some crazy ass reason your mouth, face, nose or anything is burning from capzasin, pepper, chilis or whatever, grab some vinegar, it helps......and for god's sake, don't touch your lips or eyes! By the way, my finger was only minimally improved with the capzasin. But now, a few days later, it's back to feeling okay. I should have left well enough alone but I learned another home remedy. And I bought a new bottle of vinegar to keep handy.

ODDS AND ENDS

Isn't "Normal" Weird?

After over a year of lockdowns, quarantines, face masks and social distancing, it seems a little weird to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel - and realize it isn't a train. It's the beginnings of "normal".

Last week we went out to dinner and actually ate inside the 25% capacity restaurant! To be honest it felt kind of strange, almost like I didn't know exactly what to do. Unfortunately, I think the servers didn't either. The service was lousy, the food was average at best and the price had gone up quite a bit. Hmmm, was restaurant eating overrated?

We are beginning to make some travel plans. I've flown to Albuquerque several times this past year to visit Darrin and Charley but leisure travel was definitely off limits. We have rebooked our Alabama and Georgia trip around a Giants/Braves game the end of August.  Lou and I will celebrate twenty years together this June with a Palm Springs getaway. And we have Pool Parties galore planned with Darrin and Charley this summer since they can now travel freely as well - with all the protocols in place, of course.

Everyone in my circle of friends and family are fully vaccinated or on their way. There is an odd sense of relief after that first shot and a feeling of triumph after the second - I've done my part! Yes, I will continue to follow the CDC guidelines for the most part. It seems that "normal" can actually be on the horizon. But it still feels just a little weird to really believe it. My guess is that it will take some getting used to as the months go on.

Sneezing Fits

I have this strange affliction that my dad had and I think my sister and my son also have occasionally experienced as well. We have what I call sneezing fits. I don't just sneeze once or twice like most people, I suddenly start sneezing two, three, four, five or more times - sometimes I lose count around seven or eight sneezes.

It doesn't really have anything to do with allergies or illnesses, it's just a sneezing fit. I can be sitting in the house reading the paper or driving to the store and it comes on suddenly. When it is over I go right back to what I was doing and I'm fine. Lou and my close friends or family members have learned not to say "bless you" every time I sneeze. It used to be I sneeze, bless you, sneeze again, bless you, sneeze again, bless you, etc., etc., etc. I have convinced them that one "bless you" will cover all of them.

Just curious. Does anyone else have these sneezing fits that go on and on?

 

Delightful Old Lady

Since I am now in my seventies, I have decided that I want to be a delightful old lady when I grow up. The kind who doesn't constantly complain about her maladies, what she can't do anymore or how much everything costs now days. With that in mind, please disregard my above comment about how much it now costs to eat out. I am still a work in progress.

I may not be able to scale mountains or look pretty damn good in a bikini anymore, but seventy-one years of living have given me a ton of compassion and lots of insights into life. My brother-in-law's family had a couple of delightful old ladies who are long passed now but they would enter the room like a whirlwind, smiling, laughing and ready for a glass or wine with rousing conversation - slightly flamboyant and full of life. That's who I want to be.

Sure, we all have aches and pains. We all have things we wish we had done differently but if we've made it to our twilight years then we must have been doing something right. Sure, it can be a royal pain in the ass to grow old but we can decide to welcome it - forget about the bad and embrace the good. It really is all our choice.

I found this quote from the now 71 year old actor, Richard Gere, that sums it up pretty well:

"I am old but I am forever young at heart. We are always the same age inside. Know that you are the perfect age. Each year is special and precious, you can only live it once. Do not regret growing older, it is a privilege denied to many."