HOT, HOT, HOT!

Goofy things seem to happen to me sometimes. I'm one of those people who have this uncanny ability to attract bizarre events on occasion. As I've aged those episodes seem to have subsided somewhat but every now and then one of them crops up to let me know just how crazy little things in my life can be.

Maybe I come by it naturally since my dad has had a few of them, too, and he sometimes shared them with me. For example, here is one he shared many years ago. He used a tube of Brylcreem on his hair. Why anyone would take squeaky clean, damp hair and put sticky goop in it every day is beyond me but he did. One day he related the story that he accidentally picked up the Brylcreem instead of his toothpaste, put it on his brush and began to clean his teeth. A few seconds later he realized he was brushing his teeth with hair cream and it took him hours to get the taste out of his mouth.

I wondered why he would tell anyone about this faux pas but here I am about to relate one of mine tonight. Must run in the family. I have an arsenal of creams and topical medications that supposedly relieve arthritis and neuropathy that I've purchased over the years. Nothing seems to help a lot but I continue to try various remedies in the hopes that they will lessen the pain of these two afflictions.

I have a roll on applicator of liquid capzasin, a topical analgesic derived from pepper that is supposed to relieve the pain of arthritis. The other night one of the fingers on my right hand that was injured 15 years ago was bothering me a fair amount. I decided to rub some capzasin into that finger. After liberally slathering it onto my right finger, I used my left hand to rub it in thoroughly. Initially the only relief I felt was minimal as it is with any of these treatments.

Shortly thereafter, not thinking, I rubbed my left hand along my upper lip to wipe off my mouth. Then I scratched my nose with my right hand. Within about thirty seconds my mouth began to burn like hell followed quickly by my nose. "Damn, that hurts", was the first thought that went through my mind. I immediately headed to the bathroom using a wet wash cloth to wash off my mouth and nose. It didn't help.....at all.

The burning and pain was not going away but seemed to be intensifying. I quickly searched "how to stop the burning of capzasin" on my computer. The primary antidote was to dab on a mixture of vinegar and water to ease the effects of capzasin. I semi-ran to the kitchen to see if we had any vinegar. I knew where it would be and, finally, behind the olive oil, honey and other spices, located an old bottle of red wine vinegar. Hallelujah!

I diluted it with some water as Google suggested then used a paper towel to dab it all over my mouth and nose. I was feeling a bit of relief in a really short time. You gotta love the internet! Thank God that whatever you need can usually be found there with little effort. Within minutes there was only a minor feeling of tingling pain that was certainly bearable compared to what it was twenty minutes prior.

Even though I enjoyed the relief of NOT having a painful, burning mouth and nose, I was scared to death of touching my face or heaven forbid, my eyes. I washed my hands with soap twice but was not taking the chance of experiencing that pain yet again. I was back to day one of covid protocols - don't touch your face!

Why did I share this with you? I have no idea. Maybe it is some sort of genetic defect that I share with my father in telling others stupid things that we have done to ourselves. Maybe there is some sort of human failing that we feel the need to express to friends and family. Or maybe there just isn't a rational explanation.

And remember, if for some crazy ass reason your mouth, face, nose or anything is burning from capzasin, pepper, chilis or whatever, grab some vinegar, it helps......and for god's sake, don't touch your lips or eyes! By the way, my finger was only minimally improved with the capzasin. But now, a few days later, it's back to feeling okay. I should have left well enough alone but I learned another home remedy. And I bought a new bottle of vinegar to keep handy.