MY 1961 VOLKSWAGEN BUG

Lou just bought a brand new blue 2015 Mustang last week! It is a really cool car with all kinds of bells & whistles. It got us talking about all the cars we've owned in our lifetimes. Hands down, my craziest car ever was a used 1961 Volkswagen bug. Back then no one called them a beetle, they were VW bugs.

Since I didn't get my driver's license until my 16th birthday in March of 1966, it was about 10 years old when my ex-husband & I purchased it for $400. To trick it out a little, I bought one of those covers that laced around the steering wheel & spray painted the wheels lime green to make the black car stand out. If any of you ever owned an ancient VW, you know they were unique cars - & not necessarily in a positive way. Yes, they got good gas mileage & were super cheap but they also had numerous quirks & gimmicks that made driving a real adventure.

My favorite idiosyncrasy by far was the reserve gas tank. My little black bug didn't have a gas gauge. I guess the Germans in their infinite wisdom didn't see the need for a gauge when you had the reserve tank. This was a separate container next to the regular gas tank attached by some sort of hose or something. When the gas tank ran dry & the car began to sputter, you took your right foot & flipped a small metal lever on the floor near the gas pedal. This allowed the half gallon of gas in the reserve tank to flow into the main tank. You had to immediately start pumping the gas like mad to get the engine fired up again. And you had about 10 - 15 miles to find a gas station & fill up. A lovely invention!

Another feature that added to my anxiety was that there weren't door locks on the inside. If you wanted to lock the doors, it had to be done with your key from the outside. Wanting the safety of locked doors, I developed the habit of unlocking the door with my key then locking it again while it was open so when I was inside the door was locked. The interior door handle would open the door but it remained locked from the outside if closed again.

One morning on my way to work I grabbed a bag of garbage to chuck in the dumpster at the end of the parking lot. It was windy & raining as I jumped out to dump the garbage. In that couple of seconds, the door blew shut. Damn it, damn it, damn it - the car was running & I'm locked out getting drenched by the minute. My husband had already left for work with the extra key. Double damn it! Fortunately I noticed that the small triangle shaped wind wing (if you are too young to know what that is, Google it) was not locked. I was able to push it open, then using some contortionist skills managed to twist my arm far enough through the small window to grab the door handle. That afternoon I purchased a magnetic key holder, had an extra key made & hid it under the fender.

Speaking of driving that car in the rain, the wipers had one speed - approximately once every 4 - 5 seconds the tiny wipers would slowly swipe in front of my face. The windshield would immediately fog up in the rain. If it had a defroster, which I doubt, it didn't work. In the winter I kept a box of Kleenex in the front seat so I could grab one & wipe the inside of the windshield in order to sort of see out. Plus the heater was useless so I kept a small afghan in the car to cover up with in the cold. It's a wonder I never got in a wreck with that car, but I didn't.

If you have ever driven an old VW shifting it into reverse was a real art form. The small gear shift had to be pushed straight down, then moved to the left & up. You needed a great deal of strength to push that lever down. I developed a technique were I would slam it down hard with all my weight which sometimes worked. I can't remember how many times I looked behind me to back up only to have the car lurch forward since I wasn't in reverse. Hmmm, maybe that's where my habit of swearing profusely while driving started????

Years ago I recalled reading the requirements on a "Learn to Juggle" book. It said if you can find reverse in a Volkswagen you can learn to juggle. I decided right then & there I'd never be a juggler.

On a perfectly flat road you could eventually get the car up to 60 - 65 miles per hour but on a slight incline, the top speed was about 50. Good luck attempting to drive up a steep hill - you'd be in 2nd gear chugging along at about 10 mph. I had heard that people often put sand bags in the front trunk (engine was in the rear) to give the car more traction & weight. I was a believer after driving across the San Mateo Bridge one day when a gust of wind literally moved my car into the next lane! Scared the crap out of me!

We only had that car for a few years & it served its purpose of getting me to & from work. In hindsight I enjoyed the quirks & craziness of my black bug with the bright green wheels. But I was thankful to survive it & not at all sad to see it go when we upgraded to a brand new 1975 Volkswagen Rabbit when I found out I was pregnant! 

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF CHARLEY & GAGA

The other day I had the privilege of spending several hours with my adorable Charley Ellen while her mom attended to some appointments.

The first thing we HAD to do was watch "Tinkerbell & the Legend of the Neverbeast"....for the third consecutive time that I visited her! It is her new favorite movie for sure. Allison told me the first time I sat down to watch it that I will cry. She was right, it is sad at the end, but even though it is a good sad, it does get to you. I teared up again on the third showing. I really love those Pixie Hollow fairies - Tinkerbell, Fawn, Rosetta, Silvermist & the rest. I highly recommend their movies if you ever get the chance.

After the movie & lunch we headed outside to do bubbles. My sister had brought Charley some long, skinny bubble wands with containers to match so we blew & waved bubbles for quite some time. We took turns blowing or chasing them. I do so many simple things with this little sweetie that really are awesome.

We walked to the front of their house where we noticed that lots of weeds had sprouted up around a few azaleas. Charley & I decided to pull the weeds. They came out easily since we'd had some rain a few days before. At first, Charley just pulled them out & dropped them. Once I showed her how to hang on to them then add them to the pile on the walkway, she was totally into it. The girl was a weeding machine!

After awhile I said, "Okay, that's good. Let's go throw them away." Her response was, "No, Gaga! We're not done yet!"

We continued pulling the little buggers until I once more tried to end the chore only to be told yet again, that there were more weeds to pull. When that little girl gets going, she doesn't stop. Finally Charley decided we were done. There was a pretty big pile of weeds to carry to the garbage can. Charley insisted on carrying them herself. I just followed along behind her picking up the ones that dropped.

Once that chore was done, we wandered around their property deciding what to do next. Charley came up with the idea! She said, "Let's march!" & handed me a stick. We each had a stick & she led the procession. She chanted, "Marching, marching. Here's the sun." Then I was directed to mimic her saying, "Marching, marching. Here's the sun." She continued with "Marching, marching. Here's the sky." Gaga copied her, "Marching, marching. Here's the sky."

We must have done that song to 20 things or more......."Marching, marching. Here's the clouds." And the trees. And the leaves. And the pine cones. And the grass. And the rocks. And the pine needles. On & on....we stomped around the house about three times doing our marching chant. She kept finding more things to add to the song.

Following that we poked sticks in some yucky sap on the trees that looked an awful lot like snot. We both crinkled up our noses & said, "Ewww!" In "Tinkerbell & the Legend of the Neverbeast", the beast, Gruff, uses his goopy saliva to stick rocks together building towers. We decided that the sap sure seemed a lot like Gruff's sticky spit.

Somewhere between being a mom of a 3 year old & the 36 years until I became a grandma of a 3 year old, I seem to have forgotten many of the amazing adventures that our world has to offer when seen through the eyes of a three year old. In the span of a five hours, Charley & I cried over an animated fairy movie (well, I did anyway), blew hundreds of bubbles, pulled a bunch of weeds, marched, sang & poked sap with sticks. Not a bad day at all!

SOAPBOX RANT!!!

GAGA IS ON HER SOAPBOX, YELLING, STOMPING & RANTING!

When exactly did getting a newspaper paid for & delivered to the house turn into an unbelievably ludicrous ordeal? My 86 year old father moved to Roseville in late October. Reading the morning newspaper everyday is one of his primary activities. Before he even moved I signed him up for home delivery of the Sacramento Bee, the only local paper.

Initially, on October 20th, I asked them to start delivery on October 25th, the first day he would wake up in his new home. When I arrived for some preliminary work on October 22nd, there was the newspaper in the driveway. Good start, guys.....& it's gone downhill from there.

I went online (they want you to do EVERYTHING online these days - which is fine with me) & entered his contact & credit card info & signed him up for "auto pay" every 13 weeks. BUT a couple months later, he received a letter saying his account was past due. Damn it! I went back online, filled out all of the payment info AGAIN, submitted it & once again assumed that it was fixed when I received the confirmation screen. I did not heed the old "assume" adage - when you assume, it will make an ass out of u & me. My bad.

Another month or two of blissful ignorance goes by as my dad reads his morning newspaper. Now, fast forward to a few weeks ago. He received another letter telling him that his account was past due. For the third time I went online, entered & doubled checked all the payment info & authorizing payment.

Last week my dad showed me yet another FINAL NOTICE that his newspaper delivery would be stopped if his account was not paid. After several expletive filled tirades, I was fit to be tied. Can't anyone do anything right anymore? I certainly don't condone it but I can sure understand why people take guns to businesses & start firing!

The next day I called the newspaper & spoke to a young man who once again took the credit card info & signed him up for "auto pay". He had no explanation as to why it was not in their system. He assured me that it was all in order now & he apologized profusely for all the problems. I reported to my dad that it was supposedly now fixed - but added, don't hold your breath.

Three days later he didn't receive a paper. They called the automated phone line but no newspaper was delivered. The next morning no newspaper again. Now, I was full speed ahead ranting & called the newspaper AGAIN. The woman informed me that it had been cancelled due to lack of payment! What the fuck???? I was close to pulling my hair out but explained the entire situation again. She was very sorry & had no idea why it wasn't in their system & she assured me that it was now fixed. I asked her to please forgive me for not believing her since I've heard that before & asked to talk to a supervisor.

I waited 15 minutes on hold for the supervisor but at this point, I HAD to have my say. I gave her the Reader's Digest version of events & said they need to figure out what needs to be done to provide decent customer service. I added that if there was another choice of newspapers we would certainly try it.

She asked to explain what happened so I begrudgingly shut up & let her. She talked sooooooo s - l - o - w - l - y that I was ready to explode (& I'm sure my blood pressure was going up by the minute!) Her entire defense was that they give customers a 90 day grace period before canceling the newspaper & my dad's account hadn't been paid since December so his 90 days were up.

At that point, I was totally frustrated & forcefully said, "Let me interrupt you! I understand what you are saying. IF I had not paid for my dad's newspaper in 90 days, I would apologize profusely, thank you & say 'good-bye'. BUT I have entered the info online 3 times & called last week to give you the info again. So, please, just do me a favor, get your act (really meant shit) together & deliver my dad's newspaper. Good-bye."

BUT it wasn't over yet. Why am I not surprised? He received his paper for two days then this morning no newspaper. I called yet again & spoke to first a customer service rep & waited 20 minutes for another supervisor. Both of them kept apologizing every 30 seconds. I told both of them, "Stop apologizing! Your apologies mean nothing to me. JUST FIX IT!" I was AGAIN assured it would be fixed this time without another apology.

I have the supervisor's name & call sign plus the name of a manager who will receive a scathing letter regarding their maddening customer service. Would you believe that ALL of the managers were in a meeting & couldn't take my call? Right, neither did I. If my dad's credit card is not charged tomorrow morning, I will try stopping service in his name then starting it in my name. If that doesn't work, I'm contacting Call Kurtis, a local TV consumer problem solver! This WILL get fixed!

Don't mess with Gaga!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

In just a few hours I will be 65 years old.....SIXTY-FIVE!!! I am still trying to wrap my brain around that fact. I'm not complaining, mind you, just trying to figure out how the hell it happened? It sure doesn't seem like I have been on this planet anywhere near that long.

I certainly don't feel even close to being a 65 year old but yet I am now eligible for every senior discount known to man. It was kind of fun to join AARP when I turned 50. The age of 55 brought the first phase of senior discounts...Woo Hoo! When I turned 60, then 62 more & more discounts were added. Now, there ain't no one telling me that I'm not eligible for any senior discount!  Virtually every restaurant, tour or attraction that offers a discount for old folks will be available to me!

Although there are many instances in which I have to act my age, such as taking care of my dad, solving problems or making sure life runs relatively smoothly, there are still times when I refuse to act like a grown up. For instance, I still wear my hair long & curly even if it is out of style for an old lady. I like to paint my fingernails crazy, bright colors & do one a different color. Just this morning I knocked a scab off my arm while at the store (why is it that you touch something at this age & are either bleeding or bruised?) & the only band-aid I had in my purse was a "Frozen" one. No one asked why a 65 year old woman was wearing an Elsa band-aid on her arm while shopping.

I love taking walks with my three year old granddaughter, Charley (that's why the "Frozen" band-aids). If she gets tired she just sits down in the driveway when it is time to rest & I join her. Examining wild flowers, throwing rocks in the creek or just laying flat on our bellies watching the water trickle by are amazingly fun activities. Even if my body creaks a little getting up & down, she certainly keeps me young at heart!

I find great solace in the fact that people often tell me I don't look anywhere near my age. Thank you all very much! My grandmother looked & acted "old" when she was 50. Geez, I just realized that it has been 15 years since I was 50....honestly, it doesn't seem possible that this much time has passed in my life. It just boggles my mind.

If there is one piece of advice I would offer to younger women it is to appreciate that you are beautiful & vibrant at whatever age you are now. Don't worry about a few pounds or messed up hair & make-up. I look back at photos from 30, 20 or even 15 years ago & think, "Shit, I looked damn good!" But I never thought that or believed it at the time. I'm trying to keep the mindset that I will look back at current photos when I'm 80 & think, "Damn, I did look pretty good for an old broad!"

With all of my father's medical issues these past 10 years, his move last year up near us & all the stress I've been under dealing with his life, I've neglected my own health & well being. Fortunately, he is improving & is making headway to get back to where he was two years ago. He will always need my help & a live-in caregiver but hopefully it will be minimal compared to the past few years.

So, with all that in mind I've decided to make a Birthday Resolution (kind of like a New Year's Resolution but on my birthday). I resolve to put me first & take better care of myself this coming year. I resolve to eat better, exercise more, lose some weight & drink less wine (well.....maybe). And I also resolve to not beat myself up if I don't always do a great job of it. :-)

Traveling is still a passion that I share with Lou & our list of places to visit just keeps getting longer. In fact, he is taking me to East Brother Lighthouse Bed & Breakfast in the middle of San Francisco Bay (accessible only by boat) tomorrow night for my birthday. Part of the adventure is the climb up a vertical ladder 4 - 12 feet (depending on the tide) from a bobbing boat while carrying your overnight bag. Look for photos & a trip report soon on my Travels Near & Far blog: www.kat-silver.blogspot.com.

Finally, I read a quote a few years back that I printed, framed & hung on the wall right above my computer. It reads:

                        "Don't regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many."

I will do my best to embrace the remainder of my 60s & my 70s & my 80s & my 90s if I should be so lucky to reach them all. The wrinkles, jiggly skin & sagging boobs be damned! BRING IT ON!

HUSBAND SUPER STORE

Okay, I've been working on a blog post titled "The Minds of Men". It is being written with the utmost love in my heart for the men in my life as I try to make sense of the way they think. In all fairness, I decided that before I posted that story, I should give the men a little more insight into us women. 

This joke that I saved years ago sums it up pretty well. It always brings a chuckle to my lips each time I read it. Hey, we have to be able to laugh at ourselves if we are going to laugh at others, right? Here it goes.

HUSBAND SUPER STORE

Recently, a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to
choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors, with
the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended.

The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD
to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go
back down except to leave the building, never to return. A couple of girlfriends 

went to the Super Store to find some husbands......

FIRST FLOOR

The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids."
The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job
or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?"

SECOND FLOOR
The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and
are extremely good looking." "Hmmm," said the ladies, "But I wonder
what's further up?"

THIRD FLOOR
The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are
extremely good looking and help with the housework." "Wow," said the women,
"Very Tempting." But there was yet another floor, so further up they went.

FOURTH FLOOR
This door had a sign saying, "These men have high paying jobs,
love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a
strong romantic streak." "Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what
must be awaiting us further on." So up to the fifth floor they went.

FIFTH FLOOR
The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only
to prove that women are fucking impossible to please. The exit is to your
left."

A LITTLE HELP, LADIES!

Okay, ladies, I need some help here. Will someone please tell me how you shave your legs in the shower? I am a bath person – always have been & always will be. I love settling into a hot bath tub & relaxing into the soothing warmth. There is no way that I can ease into a steaming bath without a smile on my face & letting a satisfied “Ahhhhh” escape from my lips.

I literally only shower when there isn't a bath tub available. That was the case on our recent Caribbean cruise. If you've been on a cruise, you know that you have a really small shower & that's it, unless, of course, you can afford a suite which certainly isn't in our budget. The thing that I cannot figure out is how to easily shave my legs while standing up in the shower.

If I try to bend over to lather up & shave them, I get my hair wet. If it's not a hair wash day, I don't want to do that. More importantly I can't wear my glasses in the shower without them steaming up so I couldn't shave my legs anyway when I can't see what the hell I'm doing. If I try to lift a leg to lather up & shave, I run the risk of slipping or losing my balance which could be disastrous. This ship had a bar in the corner about a foot off the ground which I'm sure was there to rest your foot while shaving.

But I still have the problem of fogged up glasses or not being able to see what I'm doing if my glasses get wet. For these reasons, I tend to cut myself every time I try to shave my legs in the shower. With the water running down my body it can easily resemble that famous shower scene from the movie, Psycho.

It is so civilized to lay back in the tub, lift one leg a few inches out of the water, lather up, leisurely shave & then do the other. That is most definitely my favorite way to tend to the task of keeping my legs semi-smooth. Plus I can never stay warm once I turn off the shower even in tropical climates. It seems that the hot bath water permeates my whole body keeping me all toasty long after I've stepped out & dried off. In the shower I’m shaking & shivering before I can dry off.

Trying to be creative, I've put a towel on the floor, sat down & used the hand-held shower to shave & rinse, but that still isn't easy & looks pretty silly. I figured there must be a better way. As an alternative, I've tried putting my foot into the sink then using the faucet to rinse the razor & my leg. It sort of works but at 64 years old, this body isn't nearly as flexible as it once was (or maybe it never really was all that flexible) which makes it pretty tough.

On this cruise, I tried that one evening & almost couldn't get my foot out of the sink. I had to raise it a few inches higher to get it over the edge of the sink. After several minutes of being stretched while I shaved, my hip was NOT ready to move that leg higher still. Fortunately, I managed to grab my foot & tug on it enough to get it back down on the floor.

So, that brings me back to my first question. How in the world do you all do it? What am I missing when it comes to leg shaving in the shower? I know that the majority of women do it that way & I figure there must be a trick. Please, share with me what it is. I am awaiting your words of wisdom & expert tutelage. 

MOVIE NIGHT

What type of movies do you enjoy? I like movies that either make me feel good or make me think or make me laugh. And if it is too violent for children, it’s too violent for me. I don’t mind bad language or a little sex in movies but I’m not a fan of anything scary, dark or intense. I much prefer to watch a movie for a little fun escapism from daily life.

The other day I wondered what would be my top five favorite movies? I didn’t put any genres on them, new or old, comedy or drama. Just write down the first five that came to mind. Surprisingly, it was remarkably easy. I do apparently have five favorite flicks. Oddly enough, they are all over the spectrum. So, in no particular order here are my top five favorite movies of all time. What are yours?

1. Bridges of Madison County

I know, I know. This is a real chick flick but, oh, how I love this movie. To me, it was so thought provoking on so many levels depending on where I was in my life. The love story of Francesca & Robert over three days that lasted a lifetime is enthralling. When Lou & I visited Iowa, I HAD to see the real Bridges of Madison County…..and I wasn’t alone. Other women there were wandering around in awe & the men were thinking, “What the hell is this about?”

2. The Big Chill

Being a product of the 60s, this movie talks to me. I love all the quirky characters. I can’t imagine “loaning” my husband to one of my best friends to conceive a child for her. But the camaraderie of friends with a history is appealing & this movie has a fantastic soundtrack! My favorite scene is when they are all putting food away after dinner, clearing the table & loading the dishwasher while dancing around the kitchen to “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg” by the Temptations.

3. Rainman

I’ve been a fan of Tom Cruise ever since he strutted & lip-synced to “Old Time Rock ‘n Roll” in his skivvies in Risky Business (although he has gotten a little weird lately). It was the offbeat storyline & the relationship that developed between autistic Charlie Babbit & his brother Raymond on a cross country trip that drew me into this feel good film.

4. Beverly Hills Cop

This has to be one of the best comedies in forever. It showcases the talents of Eddie Murphy perfectly! The supporting cast was wonderful, too – I loved Taggert & Rosewood. My son & I watched this movie many, many times. He had the entire thing memorized & would do every character flawlessly along with Axel Foley. The scene where Axel is getting the Beverly Hills Hotel clerk to give him a room is hysterical.

5. Sunset Boulevard

This old black & white film starring Gloria Swanson & William Holden is captivating. Who can forget the immortal line of fading silent movie star Norma Desmond saying, “I’m ready for my close up Mr. DeMille?” There are so many things that were ahead of its time – such as an older woman taking a younger lover. The over the top acting that was part of a bygone era really add to the overall effect of this classic.