HIPS DON'T LIE - SO SAYS SHAKIRA

I just realized that I haven't updated everyone with the results of my orthopedic specialist appointment regarding my hip pain. Some of you already know the outcome but I know many of you are still in the dark.

I mentioned to the doctor that I was hoping to feel better for our big cruise vacation in April. He said he looked at my x-rays which did confirm the arthritis. He had me lay down, moved my leg around asking when it hurt & had me describe the pain. He announced that my hip was worn out & I would need hip replacement surgery. Then he just wanted to talk about travel.

What the fuck??? The LAST thing I was expecting to hear was that I need hip replacement! Honestly, it never entered my mind that would be the ultimate diagnosis. Never! I was just a little flabbergasted trying to wrap my head around the fact that I needed surgery where they would put big pieces of metal inside me. I thought I had bursitis or a pulled muscle.

Since I didn't even want to think about actually having the surgery at this point, the doctor recommended a cortisone shot into the joint a couple weeks before the trip then decide on the surgery later. I drove home in a bit of a blur with all sorts of things spinning around in my brain. Not the least of which was, "What the hell? I've never had major surgery. My body has never let me down like this. Shit, I really am old."

Over the next few weeks, I made it my mission in life to find out everything I could about hip replacement. I started by talking with everyone I knew who had hip replacement surgery. Countless hours were spent online researching the different techniques, the limitations, what the surgery entailed, etc. After reading the description of the surgery - the socket is replaced with a metal cup lined with plastic & the top of your thigh bone is sawed off before the spike with the ball is pounded into the bone - I was feeling pretty nauseous. Okay, deep breaths, Kath.

My personality is such that I need to know everything to expect. And the more I go over it, the more normal it sounds. It is hard to deal with at first but once I know the details, I feel better. Describing cutting through muscles & sawing off bones seems less freaky the more I talk about it. But I seriously doubt I'll watch the video of the actual surgery I found online.

One of my phone calls was to my dad's home physical therapist in the Bay Area. She was nothing short of a miracle worker for my dad when he literally could not roll over in bed several years ago. As she told me about the various types of surgery & the recovery times, she said if I was still in the Bay Area she had a great doctor to recommend. I said, please, recommend away. I'm totally open to driving a couple hours.

I met with Dr. Sah on February 21 in Fremont. Everything about his Institute for Joint Replacement is first class with state of the art surgical techniques. She was right, he is who I want doing my surgery. Prior to my appointment Lou & I drove into Fremont for a seminar that Dr. Sah was presenting on joint replacement. Both of us were impressed with him & his approach. He is that rare combination of excellent surgeon & compassionate, caring person. If anyone wants to check it out, here is his website: http://sahortho.com/

Now that I know more about x-rays, symptoms & what to expect I'm 99% sure that I do indeed need hip replacement surgery. I've been holding out hope that a miracle would occur making me suddenly feel fine again but that hasn't happened. The primary criteria seems to be when your pain is impacting your life, it is time to suck it up & have the surgery.

I will have the cortisone shot on March 19, spend a week with Charley for spring break & leave on our three week cruise to Singapore, Thailand, Sri Lanka, India, Oman & Dubai on April 4. If I survive the cruise relatively in tact, we will still do our previously planned trip to southern Texas in May. I'm not going to jeopardize any time with my Charley this summer recovering from hip surgery. Dr. Sah will schedule me for late July or early August when I can devote all my time & focus to healing.

Last week I received a full page handwritten letter from Dr. Sah thanking me for my visit & telling me he is looking forward to participating in my care. He ended by telling me to enjoy my trip to Singapore! I was impressed. I've never received a thank you letter from a doctor before, let alone a handwritten one!

OLYMPIC MOMENTS

Every other year after two & a half weeks of Olympic viewing, I experience Olympic withdrawal when it all ends. What do you mean there isn't any skiing, snowboarding or skating on TV? Why is Mike Tirico not giving me the schedule for this evening? What do you mean it's over? What am I going to watch today? Fortunately, sometimes, like tonight, there are NBA basketball games featuring my favorite teams to take my mind off the empty feeling of no more Olympics for two years.

My family has always been big sports fans. We all get way into the games of our favorites - the Kings & Warriors, the Giants & the Forty-Niners. And every two years we hunker down in front of the TV watching every minute of the Winter or Summer Olympics that we can. We all stay up too late devouring every event. I'm the worst culprit when it comes to not putting sleep before sports.

I was delighted to see that there were two openly gay athletes competing this year. Both figure skater Adam Rippon & freestyle skier Gus Kenworthy were greatly pleased to be able to participate as their true selves. I sincerely hope they are the first of many & that in future Olympics an athlete's sexual preference won't even merit mentioning.

This year there were three stand out moments of victory for me. Number one has to be the United States men taking the gold medal in curling! Coming into the games they were maybe a long shot for the bronze medal. After losing their first few games most people thought they were out of contention. But the guys sucked it up & turned it around in spectacular fashion winning the first gold medal ever for the U.S. in curling.

I watched most of their matches in their entirety since they were on during the day - & I am retired! About three Olympics ago, Darrin & I were intrigued by the sport that only surfaces during the Winter Games. He looked up the rules & terminology which we studied as we watched. Now that I know the format & scoring of a match, this year my attention was on the strategy.

It sounds a bit stupid but it was electrifying to watch our guys - John, Tyler, Matt & Lanz - play spectacularly as they beat first Canada to get to the gold medal game where they beat Sweden for the win! I was up until 2 AM anxiously watching every move & cheering each great shot all by myself. These are regular guys with families & real jobs (one works at Dick's Sporting Goods & another in a liquor store) who did something magical!

Another special moment was when Jessie Diggins, an American cross-country skier, dug down deep to move from third place in the four woman relay to win gold!  Watching the end of the race, it was apparent that something inside of her snapped & she was NOT going to lose. She wanted that first gold for the U.S. in her sport & kicked it into another gear that no one even knew existed!

And, of course, our women's hockey team beating the powerhouse Canadians in an overtime shootout to take the top prize was agonizing to watch. But the ultimate reward of gold was worth all the torture. Every Olympics has stories that touch us & amaze us.

The beauty of sports is that old opening line of ABC's Wide World of Sports - the thrill of victory & the agony of defeat! Every sport has both - always. I have been upset by all the stories & social media posts criticizing the U.S. athletes for not winning more medals. The projections were for 25 - 39 medals & we only won 23. What the hell? It isn't about a medal count in my opinion. It is about athletes training hard & doing their best. Not everyone will win gold, silver or bronze but the fact that they compete at the Olympic level is an incredible accomplishment.

Occasionally, we find an amazing athlete like Eric Heiden or Carl Lewis or Apolo Ono or Michael Phelps & we cheer them on as they win multiple gold medals in multiple Olympics. Our hockey teams & curling teams & many others win unexpected gold medals. Sometimes our favorites fall short, sometimes they just fall & sometimes they just aren't good enough to beat the competition. But every one of them is trying their best not knowing the ultimate outcome. That is what intrigues me & keeps me coming back for more. Stop worrying about how many medals our team won & enjoy the beautiful stories of all the competitors.

SLIDERS

No, I don't mean the little hamburgers or the baseball pitch or the patio door. With the Winter Olympics in full swing, I was reminiscing about our brief time as "sliders". A slider is the term used to describe people who lay flat on their back on a sled & hurtle themselves down a steep, twisting, turning ice track at speeds up to 90 miles per hour!

The luge event is often referred to as "The Fastest Sport on Ice". Most people call the men & women who participate in this crazy endeavor "lugers" which is okay, but technically they are called "sliders". Or crazy people with no sense!

My son, Darrin, has always had an interest in Winter Olympic sports starting when he was 4 years old. After watching the 1980 games in Lake Placid, he announced that he wanted to go ice skating & do a sit spin. We did go to the ice rink for a family outing but, alas, no sit spins were performed by anyone.

A recent Olympic favorite of his is curling. Once you know the rules & scoring, it really is quite exciting to watch. A few years ago Darrin took curling lessons at a local ice arena in Roseville. He even participated in several of their matches. He was pretty good at it & they wanted him to join their team permanently but he just didn't have the time to devote to it. Hell, he could have made the Olympic team & we could be in South Korea watching him right now!

Anyway, during his teen years he developed a real affinity for the luge event which fascinated him. One summer we saw a notice in the newspaper that the U. S. Junior Luge Association was holding tryouts in our area. I'm sure you're thinking, it doesn't snow in the California Bay Area & certainly not in the summer. True! They had luge sleds with wheels on them & temporarily closed one of the cloverleaf freeway ramps for the tryouts.

Of course, Darrin, who was 16 & driving, insisted on heading over there by himself. After some brief training the participants made several runs down the ramp under the tutelage of the luge instructors. Low & behold, a month or two later he received a letter inviting him to a tryout camp the following winter at Lake Placid.

Unfortunately, he would have to miss six weeks of school & it was all at our expense. After much discussion we decided it just wasn't feasible. Darrin wasn't too disappointed since even our most successful U.S. sliders didn't make any money or win medals back then. Plus he was just starting his flying lessons & income was limited.

Fast forward to about 1995. Darrin was 19 & we were on a family vacation in Canada. One of our stops was at the Olympic Park in Calgary. We took a tour of the facilities, looked down the ski jump ramp & saw the bobsled track. Amazingly, we discovered that you could experience sliding on the bottom third of the Olympic luge track! The cost was only $9 USD per run. Of course, we HAD to do it!

Darrin & his dad did two runs each & I did one. We were given a heavy jumpsuit & a helmet to wear. The instructions were to relax & not do anything, just go with the flow & the sled would get you to the bottom. We would reach speeds of 25-30 MPH, far less than the Olympic sliders but I'll tell you what, it sure felt like I was going 90 miles an hour! They stressed that keeping your head back, feet up & relaxing was essential. Otherwise you would have a good chance of wiping out.

Okay, got it! The ride would take less than a minute. As I started off, I thought this isn't too bad but as the sled picked up speed my natural inclination was to tense up & try to "steer" the thing. I went up one side of the track, back down & up the other side. Every expletive I knew (& a few I made up on the spot) ran through my head as I told myself do what they said or you will be upside down careening down this track!

Sure enough, I put my head back & forced myself to semi-relax. The sled instantly straightened out & I thought, "I'll be damned, they're right." It was a fun, scary, exhilarating & crazy ass ride! I made it safely to the bottom & decided I was glad I did it, but once was enough! I can't even imagine what 80 or 90 MPH would be like & quite honestly, I don't feel the need to ever find out. Enjoy the Winter Olympics from the comfort of your couch!

COMEDY OF ERRORS

My son gets credit for this title. I drove into the Bay Area to deliver a larger suitcase (Darrin only has a roller carry on size) so he could take my Valentine's gift bag & all the Monster High Ghouls to New Mexico next week when he goes to spend a week with Charley. I know it sounds crazy, but, hey, that's what I do. Moving Heaven & Earth isn't an issue where my son & granddaughter are concerned so driving 200 miles to deliver a few things is a piece of cake.

We coordinated the visit so my sister, Karen (AKA Zizi), could stop by before her massage in Castro Valley & see Darrin's new-ish duplex that he rented a few months ago. She lives about 100 miles away, also. Both Karen & I lived the huge majority of our lives in the Bay Area & still have many ties to the area, such as Karen's long time massage therapist. The three of us had planned to have lunch before going our separate ways. I'm not sure if we have EVER had lunch with just the three of us.           

Sounded like a simple enough plan, right? At 12:15 PM we left Darrin's for the 10 minute drive to Don Jose's Mexican Restaurant where we had all eaten several times years ago. Oddly enough, we had to take three cars since we were all heading in different directions. The City of Castro Valley decided to pick this day to do road construction work. Given the horrendous traffic in the Bay Area anyway, closing a lane made it totally nuts.

We all arrived a half an hour later at Don Jose's. As we walked to the door talking away, Darrin pulled on one of the double doors. Wouldn't open so he pulled the other, same result. Then we noticed the sign on the door. "We are closed today to give our wonderful employees a day off for all their hard work." Well, hell, now what?

Karen said there was another Mexican taqueria a couple blocks away so we all piled into Darrin's car. There were cracker crumbs all over the back seat by Charley's car seat. Darrin said, "Every time I see them, I don't want to clean them up because it reminds me of Charley there eating her crackers." I totally get it. Things in my house that she has changed remain for weeks or months after her visit.

We spot the taqueria with the sign saying "Parking in Back". Castro Valley Boulevard has tons of shops & restaurants but almost no street parking. Turning down the side street we are met with several tractors & dump trucks blocking the parking in back as they were repaving the lot. Damn, no where to park! And Gaga is pretty limited in how far she can walk with this hip shit.

Continuing down the street, Darrin suggested the Ice Creamery where we have eaten several times. They have sandwiches & burgers, too. By now we had abandoned our desire for Mexican food in favor of somewhere to eat before we all had to head out.  As we drove the few blocks to the Ice Creamery we were met with orange netting blocking the driveway to their parking in back. "What the fuck?" I exclaimed, "Are they repaving the entire city?"

We continued down the main street in Castro Valley when Karen saw a coffee shop that she remembered eating at several times. We managed to find a parking space in the parking lot that was still accessible & had a nice lunch together. It turned out that we did still have an hour or so to visit & enjoy each other's company. Finally!

As an added bonus, Darrin said he was planning to Facetime with Charley when she got out of school. Our lunch had dragged on enough that we should be able to all say "hi" for a bit before we went on our way. Of course, the phone connection didn't work as we sat there staring at the phone & lining up so she could see us all. After several tries Darrin gave up & said he would head home to call her on his Wi-Fi.

My sister went into Ross for a few minutes while I started my car to drive home in time for the King's game we had tickets to this evening. Suddenly Darrin rapped on my window saying he got through. The connection was crappy but I managed to talk to Charley for a few minutes. She was totally excited about finding out there are Monster High Beach Ghouls & shared that with me! Gaga has already bought one for her. You didn't doubt that, did you?

After saying good-bye, blowing kisses, sharing virtual hugs & saying "I love you" ten times, I backed out of the parking space. Then I saw Darrin heading into the Ross Store with his phone. After momentary confusion, I smiled knowing that he had told Charley that Zizi was there for lunch, too. I knew she wanted to say "hi" to Zizi. Darrin said I was right & he found Zizi in the store to chat with Charley. Our lunch date was indeed a "Comedy of Errors" but it was still wonderful.

OMFG

Lou & I are intelligent people. We are seasoned travelers. We are fairly well versed in using the Internet & can operate most websites. But this afternoon we met our match!

Our mission was to fill out our applications for an Indian visa for our upcoming trip. It has taken weeks of research to figure out what we needed & how to go about obtaining it. But that was child's play compared to actually applying for the damn thing on their website - which appears to be the only way to do it other than paying an independent visa company at least double the cost - & you still have to fill out all the forms correctly.

Apparently the Indian Consulate has contracted with one visa service, CKGS, that does ALL of the Indian visas. Our state department, their state department & my guess is, any other visa service, must go through CKGS to obtain a visa to visit India. There is a simpler e-visa BUT it is only good for two entries into India. Our cruise stops at three ports & following the cruise we are flying to Delhi for two nights. We needed a regular visa - which according to all accounts is much more involved. OMFG, were they ever right!

We went to the CKGS website to apply. The process involves filling out initial information on their site before being redirected to the Consulate General of India website to fill out their form & print it. You are then sent back to CKGS to answer more questions, print that page & finally book an appointment in San Francisco to deliver all of your forms, passport, ID, payment & a photo that has a ton of rules & regulations - totally white background, no glasses, no hair covering your face, straight on, no tilted head, etc, etc. You can mail all of the forms in but we elected to actually have someone check it in person.

All of that may have been do-able IF the website had even sort of worked correctly. Lou was at his computer & I was at mine trying to figure out each step as we progressed. Our goal was to get to the book appointment part at the same time & schedule our appointments next to each other. You will not believe how many times one or the other of us had to start over when a webpage froze up. Or how many times one of us had to stop & help the other. Or how many times I said "Fuck" - well, if you know me, you probably do believe that!

You are given a temporary number in case you have to log back in to your application. But the numbers never worked to get back into the site! We had three different confirmation or application numbers but couldn't get any of them work. A phone call only produced a recording referring us to the website. At one point Lou called the CKGS line after we had hit yet another roadblock. All of the numbers were alpha numeric with several letters. The recording told him to enter his application number. How do you enter a 12 digit number with letters & numbers on a phone keypad??? He tried speaking the number but that didn't work either. Talk about sheer frustration.

Both of us felt like we had been dragged through the wringer when finally, almost 4 hours later (literally), Lou clicked the button & the "Order Receipt" appeared on his screen. I yelled, "Hallelujah!" & we high-fived like we scored the winning touchdown!

All of our paperwork is filled out & printed but that is just the start. We must sign in three boxes & if our signature goes out of the box at all, it will be rejected. Next up is to take the photos which will also be rejected if they don't meet the exact criteria. I'm a little freaked out about our February 12th appointments at 11:12 AM & 11:23 AM to make sure our forms have all the "i's" dotted & "t's" crossed. Shit, I just want to visit the damn country, not buy it!

As I was starting over from scratch with my India Consulate application that somehow disappeared, Lou started looking at some of the website reviews while he waited for me to catch up. Here are just a few that made me feel a lot better knowing we weren't alone!

"I'm beyond frustrated at this point. I have never encountered a more dysfunctional application system."

"I had heard from many others that applying for a VISA through CKGS was going to be a hellish experience.  They were right."

"Website is a piece of crap! Pathetic, nothing on their system works."

The Better Business Bureau reports that CKGS has a customer approval rating of 1.2 out of a possible 5. I have decided that CKGS does indeed translate into OMFG! I have a bad feeling that this saga is far from over. I hope to hell I'm wrong but I'll keep you posted on the outcome. I've pretty much decided that India doesn't want tourists. Making it this hard to get a frickin' visa is not the way to encourage visitors to your country!

MORTALITY IS CREEPING IN

A week & a half ago, I had a sore hip that might be bursitis or might be a hip flexor muscle issue.  Today I am doing my best to come to terms with the fact that I most likely need hip replacement surgery. I've spent the past ten days talking to everyone I know who either had or is well versed in hip replacements & doing hours of research online.

I think what it is that I'm having difficulty wrapping my brain around is that for the first time in my life, my body has failed me. That is not an easy thing to accept. In the past, my body has healed itself & I moved on with my life relatively pain free. Not this time. I'm going to need some serious assistance from the medical world to move forward.

For the first time where my health is concerned I feel vulnerable & somewhat fragile. What the hell, me & hip replacement don't belong in the same sentence. Every time I stand up I am reminded that I can't walk without pain & limping. If I had to run to save my life, maybe I could do it, but I'm not really sure. Yes, I'm 67 years old, almost 68, but I sure as hell don't feel "old". However, my body is telling me otherwise. And that fucking sucks.

Yesterday, I turned an acquaintance into a new friend. It is kind of an interesting story. When my dad moved to Sun City in Roseville there is a golf course & deli just a few blocks from his house. They make great sandwiches & we stop by to purchase them often. The woman who works there, Pam, & I have been chatting for the five minutes it takes to complete our order for years. It is amazing what you can discuss in just a few minutes.

Many months ago I started telling her that someday I would stop by near her quitting time & have a glass of wine to get to know her better. She said, please do it & I'll join you. Well, yesterday I took her up on it. I stopped by the deli/clubhouse at 3:30 PM. Pam had already closed up so she poured us each a glass of wine & we headed to one of the tables.

Turns out we have a lot in common. Both of us are in long term, committed relationships without feeling a need for marriage. We both have an elderly parent. Both of us are in need of a joint replacement. She limped to the table with a bad knee & I did the same with my hip. As I knew we would, we hit it off & talked for over an hour over a couple glasses of wine. You know how there are some people you just click with? Yeah, Pam is one of those women for me. We commiserated about all of these "old age" limitations & other bullshit that has to be handled at our ages.

There were two young men (probably in their 20s) working in the pro shop who were wrapping up to go home. Pam told them to enjoy their youth because it won't last. We both reiterated that sentiment. They smiled & said they would - but they probably won't. They likely just brushed it off as two old ladies with unwanted advice - as one of them helped me figure out how to show Pam photos of Charley on my cell phone without words in front of them. That is just a fact of life that we need the younger generation to work these damn things.

As I told my 41 year old son a couple weeks ago that my 25 years of running had finally caught up with me, he informed me that he was training for a half marathon in March. It got me thinking, would I have NOT done all that running if I knew that at almost 70 years of age I'd be facing a hip replacement? My answer was a resounding "NO"!. I want every 20, 30 or 40 year old to embrace life & live it how they see fit. None of us can predict the future nor can we really know if our past did indeed influence that future.

All any of us can do is live our lives to the best of our abilities. Yes, try to eat fairly well & take care of ourselves but in the end do what makes you happy & enjoy every ounce of this thing we call life. It is the only one we have & I'm reminded of an old saying I've heard many times. Not sure who said it but they were right on.

"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive & well preserved body. But rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body used up, worn out & screaming, "Woo Hoo, what a ride!"

AN INEXACT SCIENCE

Most people tend to believe that when you are sick or injured, you go to the doctor or hospital, they ask you questions, run a few tests then do something or give you something to fix you up. Over the years I've learned that even the most educated & experienced medical professionals don't have all the answers. Often times medicine is an inexact science at best.

I was reminded of that these past few weeks while looking for answers to my almost constant hip pain for the last several months. In the past month I've seen three different health care providers & received three different theories as to why my hip hurts like hell.

After a couple of visits to my chiropractor with no improvement, I made an appointment with my primary care doctor in late November. She asked me questions about my pain, poked, prodded & came to the conclusion that I had arthritis coupled with trochanteric bursitis. She suggested I get an x-ray (which confirmed the presence of mild arthritis) & try round the clock ibuprofen for a week to knock down the inflammation. That didn't help. Next we tried a cortisone injection into the bursa sack. That didn't help. She referred me to physical therapy & an orthopedic specialist.

Of course, referrals to other health care departments seem to travel at a snail's pace, especially when you are hurting. I'd like to think they can do things quicker when you have a really serious condition. Last week I saw the physical therapist for the first time. After extensive questioning, he believes that the cause of my pain isn't arthritis or bursitis but the hip flexor muscle which has tightened up over the years causing pain when it stretches. He believes an exercise program targeting the hip flexor is the place to start. I was heartened that maybe it was something which I could diligently improve over the next few months.

This morning I saw the orthopedic specialist. He again questioned me extensively about the pain type & location. I explained that I had already received diagnoses of arthritis & bursitis & a hip flexor issue. He had me lay down & moved my leg up, down, sideways with bent knees & straight asking me when it hurt.

When finished, he said simply, "It's your hip. It is wearing out & you will ultimately need hip replacement surgery." I replied, "Well, hell. That's not what I wanted to hear." In the meantime he suggested a cortisone shot into the hip joint (rather than the bursa) that is done with an x-ray to make sure the placement is exact. He is sure that will help but it cannot be done more often than every three months. He suggested, & I agreed, that we wait until a few weeks before our big cruise in April. I have scheduled it for March 15.

So, there you have it. Three different diagnoses from three different health care professionals. I'm going to do my homework - researching online & talking to anyone who has had hip replacement surgery. If you or anyone close to you has had hip replacement surgery, please let me pick your brain. I am continuing the physical therapy & exercises just in case that does indeed help. Maybe the injection will work & last longer than three months. Or maybe it will ease up when the weather warms up. I am keeping an open mind & treating surgery as an absolute last resort. At almost 68 years old I have never had major surgery in my life.

I won't rule out any results which are outside of the box of conventional wisdom when it comes to all my options. I am reminded of the time almost four years ago when my dad had half of his foot amputated due to cellulitis & gangrene. It was not healing after weeks of hyperbaric chamber treatment, a couple of surgeries, lots of debriding & numerous wound care procedures.

My dad's fantastic surgical podiatrist made appointments for him to be seen at UCSF Medical Center in San Francisco, THE best hospital for tough cases in Northern California. The head of their Vascular Surgery department did a procedure on my dad to examine the blood flow to his foot. He found me in the waiting room & told me, "It will never heal. He needs a below the knee amputation."

That fantastic surgical podiatrist looked at me the next day & said sincerely, "I don't think that's true. I think it will heal in time." He went above & beyond, making house calls, providing wound care & finding a brace to keep his weight off of the foot. And guess what? It did heal, slowly but surely. My dad still has that leg today. Although it is missing half a foot, he can still walk with his walker. Even the best doctors don't have all the solutions. Medicine is most definitely an inexact science.