HOT FLASHES

“I fell in to a burning ring of fire. I went down, down, down & the flames went higher.” If I didn't know better, I'd swear that Johnny Cash was singing about the bane of pretty much every woman who is in the second half of her life – hot flashes.

Oh, my goodness – where to start? These lovely little reminders of menopause have been living with me for the past 18 years. At the age of 45, I noticed an occasional little burst of warmth that quickly spread throughout my body then dissipated. I remember thinking at the time, “Ah, a hot flash. This isn't so bad.” Oh, you silly woman, just wait. My mother suffered (mostly in silence) from hot flashes after a hysterectomy at age 39 until her death at age 60.

Women of a generation or two past seemed to have been taught that you don't mention hot flashes or “the change of life”, you just suffer quietly as you sweat & turn red & die of the heat. Lou mentioned recalling his mother having to pull the car to the side of the road until a hot flash passed. Fortunately, my generation freely discusses all the uncomfortable, crazy symptoms of menopause. Yes, we even use the word with abandon now.

As the years passed, the intensity of the hot flashes grew. Turtlenecks & pullover sweaters became a thing of the past. Any woman who has experienced intense hot flashes knows that you are inclined to rip off any hot, constrictive clothing before even looking to see who might be in the room. Hopefully, you won't knock anyone over on your way to the freezer for some cooling relief.

My sister, Karen, went through menopause about the same time I did even though she is 5 years younger than me. Our friend, Deb, was also dealing with it simultaneously. Years ago, we were together at Karen's house one evening – either one, two or all three of us were having a hot flash at any given moment! It really was comical. I don't know how women got through it without joking & laughing & sharing. A good sense of humor is imperative for survival.

A few years later the night sweats & instant heat surges started. It still boggles my mind how your body temperature can spike up to 108 degrees (yes, they say it can go that high!) in a matter of seconds. But since it drops just as quickly, I suppose that's why it doesn't kill you. At their worst, I lost count of the number I'd have per day – it was upwards of 20 or 30. I could think about them & bring them on, but I'll be damned if I could ever figure out how to think myself into preventing or stopping them.

Summers were the worst since it was already hot outside. A hot flash on top of 100 degree heat is not pleasant in the least. About the only thing hot flashes were good for was on winter nights. If you're like me, you have to get up to pee pretty much every night. In winter it is really cold getting out of bed & staggering into the bathroom. BUT I discovered that if you just waited for the next hot flash then got up, the cool night air felt wonderful!

When my periods finally stopped at age 51, I assumed the hot flashes would taper off, too. Wrong! I'm still getting the damn things fairly regularly 12 years later. Sometimes they will be worse for awhile & sometimes they almost go away for a few weeks, but so far, they always reappear. They don't seem so bad anymore, but then maybe I've just gotten used to them as a way of life. A few women in their 70s have told me not to count on ever having a climate controlled body again. Oh, fun!

Younger women are sympathetic but have no idea just how intense the heat from a hot flash can be. And men seem to instinctively know that they had better not ever minimize the effect of hot flashes on our sanity or we will turn on them in an instant. On occasion Lou will be in the office with our computers generating extra heat in the summer. He will take off his shirt & complain how hot he is - I smile & say, "Welcome to my world!"

I REALLY envy those few women who have made it through menopause & never had a hot flash or who say, “Mine only lasted a few months & weren't that bad.” You keep your mouth shut & smile but your brain is thinking, “Lucky bitch!”