PEACH PANTS & DIRT

Have you ever known one of those women (usually older, trim & perfectly coiffed) who can wear white pants to a picnic outdoors & never get a speck of dirt on them? I am certainly not one of them but I have met a few in my lifetime. It has always fascinated me how they can stay perfectly clean without even trying. I am quite envious of them but have accepted the fact that I am sort of a female version of the Pigpen character in the Peanuts comic strip. You know, the little guy who always walked around with a cloud of dust surrounding him.

Years ago when my son & ex-husband were involved in air shows an older performer’s wife, Mrs. Nissen, was one of those dapper women who dirt seemed to be afraid of. Mrs. Nissen was a friendly, outgoing, sweetheart of a woman who would sit out with her family near their airplane all day. She never seemed to get dirty or even rumpled when the rest of us were a mess – hot, sweaty & grimy.

That evening at dinner Mrs. Nissen’s white pants would be spotless even though she never had time to change. I honestly don’t know how she stayed so neat & clean. If you’ve ever been to an air show, you know there is dust blowing everywhere, not to mention that the nature of the sport is conducive to attracting dirt & grease.

When I rode & competed in horse shows as a teenager, I could never keep clean. In English riding we wore white long-sleeved shirts to show our horses. I would literally get out of the truck to unload my horse from the trailer & my shirt would be streaked with dirt. I learned to wear a sweatshirt, zipped up to my neck from the moment I left the house in the morning until I was ready to take if off, put on my riding coat & mount up. Even then it just seemed like dirt had this uncanny knack to seek me out no matter how careful I tried to be.

Unfortunately, as I’ve aged it hasn’t gotten much better. I still end up with dirt on me – even when I’m not in a situation that caters to getting dirty. I’ve taken to carrying Shout wipes in my purse so that when I’m out & about, I can at least clean myself up. And Lord help me if I eat something chocolate. I invariably drop a tiny piece on my clothing that goes unnoticed until later when there is suddenly a brown spot on my blouse or pants. In fact that very thing happened with a new turquoise top a few weeks ago. That Shout is great stuff, I highly recommend it!

I do own one pair of white pants which I bought really cheap at Ross. In the likely event that I ruined them I didn’t want to make a big investment. I normally save my white capris to wear on cruises. That way I can work at staying clean as I sit on deck doing nothing & pretending that I am one of those women who dirt avoids like the plague. I have no idea how the dirt knows who it had better leave alone & who it can mess with, but it does.

The reason this all came to mind is because I made a lunch date with a friend this past week. I have a brand new pair of light peach crop pants that I wore for the first time. They were purchased with Kohl's coupons & only $4 out of pocket precisely because of the aforementioned likelihood of ruining them due to the light color. Plus I love a good bargain, but that is a whole other post topic.

Anyway, prior to lunch, I went to the grocery store to do the weekly shopping. I loaded my bags into the trunk of my car, opened the door & slid into the driver’s seat. I looked down & there were streaks of black dirt on both legs of my new peach pants! “Son of a bitch!”, I exclaimed. Actually, I said something much worse but you get the idea. J

Fortunately, I was able to get it all off once I was back home. But I have no clue where I got that dirt on me. I suppose I brushed up against something – or it could be that dirt just loves to screw with me since it is so easy. Either way, now that I’m in my sixties, I seriously doubt it will be changing anytime soon. And I did manage to stay clean throughout our Mexican food lunch which was quite an accomplishment.