DAY TRIPPIN'

Yesterday we headed out on what began as the "day trip from hell" but turned out to be an almost magical adventure. My 88 year old father & my mother, who died 26 years ago, loved the Northern California coast. They especially enjoyed spending a week two or three times a year in Bodega Bay or Sea Ranch. We were always invited for a weekend visit.

One misty, foggy weekend about 30 years ago, my mother & I took the dog for a walk & discovered a mile long trail near a home they often rented in Sea Ranch, 120 miles north of San Francisco. My dad, my husband at the time & my son had gone out for a day of golfing. Following the hike, my mother & I opened a bottle of wine & settled into the hot tub on the deck. It was one of the best afternoons I had ever shared with my mom. We took the guys on our hike the next day & the whole family made sure to walk that trail each year.

When my mom passed away my dad wanted her ashes scattered along our Sea Ranch trail. With pilots in the family, we easily made that happen. My father has told me often that he wants his ashes scattered along that favorite family trail with her. Darrin & I will make that happen as well when the time comes.

For the first 15 years or so after my mom died, my father made a mini pilgrimage to Sea Ranch to place a flower on the hillside below the trail & get lost in his memories. I went with him often for these day trips along with Darrin or my sister or various friends. His deteriorating health has limited his trips to Sea Ranch these past twelve years.

For the past several years I have been telling him that we would get him up there again but in truth, I was dreading the trip. It is daunting to think about the reality of getting him in & out the car many times, into wheelchair accessible bathrooms & find places he is capable of visiting with his limited mobility.

My incredible son suggested a few days ago that he & Charley could go with me to take him to Sea Ranch. Darrin has wonderful memories of his beloved grandmother & the times they spent together on these frequent mini vacations. My mother's birthday was July 9 - today. To avoid traffic (oh, how naive we were), we planned the day trip for Saturday.

One of my dad's favorite caregivers, John, who lives in Vermont but cared for my dad for two plus years keeps in touch & has made the effort to visit from across the country. It turned out that he was meeting his first grandson in Washington & made the journey south to spend a couple days with my dad. We asked if John was game for a crazy-ass day trip of over 400 miles to Sea Ranch with a 5 year old, an 88 year old & 3 adults - although that term "adults" is debatable. Yep, he was!

Yesterday morning we met Darrin & Charley in Vallejo. After the first of many bathroom breaks, the five of us piled into my dad's 1998 2-door Pontiac Grand Prix. That meant my dad in the front seat with the driver, Charley in her car seat & two others in the back seat. Cozy to say the least - plus the wheelchair, walker & various supplies in the trunk. Charley had some of her Monster High "ghouls", the iPad with movies to watch & assorted toys & snacks. I included towels & garbage bags in case anyone got car sick on the winding coastal roads. Whew, they didn't!

Before even connecting with Darrin & Charley we ran into a decent-sized traffic jam making us 20 minutes late for our rendezvous. It was the first of many. I know that the traffic in the greater Bay Area has definitely gotten worse but I didn't know it extended to Bodega Bay & beyond! I lost count of the number of slow downs & outright stops in the traffic. Ridiculous!

We brought lunch intending to eat it along the coast but Darrin found a park in Petaluma on his iPhone that worked out great. It was already noon & we weren't even halfway there. We had to load up the car, drive two blocks then head into Jack in the Box for a bathroom break. That sounds easy but it is not - piling five people (& four ghouls) into the car & getting everyone's seat belt fastened is not a simple chore. That was when I gave up my original ETA of returning home at 6:30 or 7 PM. 

I was amazed at my motley crew of support on our adventure. My dad was disgusted at the difficulty he was having & sounded ready to say forget it. But Darrin & John really stepped up. Darrin did about 80% of the driving & engaged his Pop in conversations about their memories. John took over getting the wheelchair & walker out of the trunk on every stop & bathroom break. He embraced the job of bathroom help like the true caregiver he is freeing me up to enjoy my time sharing Sea Ranch with Charley.

Since my dad could not climb the few steps up the hillside, we had Charley place the crepe myrtle flower for her great-grandma on the rocks. It was an emotional moment for all. Once we arrived in Sea Ranch, my dad's memories came flooding back & he was in his element. We could tell that he was embracing it all - it didn't matter that many of his recollections were not quite right. We all knew we had done a good thing - a really good thing. We didn't even leave Sea Ranch until 6 PM & none of us cared.

After dinner at McDonald's & dropping Charley & Darrin in Vallejo, we made it back to my dad's around 11 PM - after one more inexplicable traffic jam in Vacaville at 10 PM (WTF?). We had driven 400+ miles & endured a 14-1/2 hour day in cramped quarters. My father was extremely appreciative of what we all did to pull this day off for him. He was truly happy & loved the old memories it brought back for him.

I can tell you that I have never been more proud of my family - my son for taking the reins & making this day trip happen, my granddaughter for being a real trooper spending 9+ hours in the car, our friend who has become family for pitching in & my dad for genuinely expressing his gratitude to all of us willing to share his day.

There was something magical that occurred yesterday. It was a long, tiring day but so worth the effort we all put in to make the day a reality for my dad. I know my father feels blessed to have a family that would do this for him. Sure, I had been kind of dreading this day but ended up feeling that together we all accomplished something special that won't soon by forgotten. And I'm pretty sure my mom was looking down with a smile.