THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES

Humor was the way my dad coped with most things in life. Two ER visits ago, the doctor walked into the room & noticing my dad's half foot asked, "Why did you have your foot amputated?" My father replied, "For fun." I giggled & the nurse laughed out loud saying, "Mine is scheduled for next week." The doctor just semi-glared at all of us. That gives you an idea of my father's off beat sense of humor.

Over the years with all his health issues that I described in my last post, we always said if he ever stops eating & loses his sense of humor, we are in trouble. He would be in ICU throwing up blood & the nurse asked how he was doing. He always answered "I'm fine." Over, over & over, "I'm fine" no matter what was happening. My dad was never one to complain. We joked that we we're putting that on his tombstone, "I'm fine." But, alas, there will be no tombstone. His ashes will be scattered with my mother's in Sea Ranch according to his wishes.

My sister & I had numerous adventures with our dad - most I assume were to get us out of the house so my mother didn't kill us. Late afternoon bike rides were common. One day the three of us decided to play polo on our bikes taking some croquet mallets & a softball to the local school. About two minutes into the first chukker, I peddled furiously & swung my mallet which lodged in the spokes of the bike! My bike stopped instantly & I flew over the handlebars scraping the hell out of myself but no lasting damage was done. That ended our polo career.

Another day while hiking in the Hayward hills long before organized trails we were chased by a cow with a calf. I'm guessing I was about 9 or 10 & my sister 4 or 5. My dad scooped up my sister & yelled "Run!" We made it to the fence with the cow in hot pursuit. My dad dropped my sister on the other side & boosted me over before climbing it himself as the cow angrily approached. Just another funny story to laugh at years later.

As we all gathered at my dad's house last weekend my sister brought up another memory. Our dad was deathly afraid of snakes. He couldn't even look at one on TV without freaking out. One day as kids we were having a family picnic at a park in the hills. While my mother set up the meal, my dad, Karen & I went for a walk in the woods. Apparently, my dad saw a snake & took off running abandoning his kids! We followed suit running after him. My recollection is that my mom was none too pleased at his "save myself" actions.

My dad spent hours teaching me to throw, catch & hit a ball. I can't remember a time when I didn't know the rules of baseball. I still smile when I recall bundling up to attend a Giants night game in chilly Candlestick Park with my dad.  As adults he & I could flick between three channels with the TV remote watching football or basketball games. Our biggest connection was always sports. Several years ago, Lou took me to the Indy 500 auto race. That was the one sporting event my dad always wanted to attend & he was able to live vicariously through me.

I learned to drive on his four speed 1960 MG sports car. Cars were always my dad's pride & joy. At age 13 or 14 I recall sitting in the MG in the garage on weekend mornings practicing shifting. My dad was a great driving instructor patiently enduring the hours as I jerked & killed the car perfecting the ability to operate the clutch & gear shift. Darrin credits my dad with ultimately teaching him the fine art of shifting smoothly.

Along with kind & caring, the word that comes up over & over when people talk about my dad is "generous". My father was indeed a generous man always saying "put lunch on my card" or "take the money out of my account." He was also generous with his time & convictions. I don't ever remember my dad saying "no" to anything. As we spoke about what do with all his stuff, we decided to simply give it all away in his honor.

His 20 year old Pontiac Grand Prix went to the couple who cared for him full time a couple years ago & currently spent every other weekend with him. They were blown away by our father's generosity manifested through his daughters & grandson. His 42" flat screen TV went to his new caregiver. Darrin put his furniture on Facebook Marketplace for free & by the afternoon he had found a deserving woman who pulled up in a pickup truck & happily took it all assuring us it would have a good home.

We went through our pecking order - daughters, grandson, caregivers - as we divvied up most of his possessions. I loved when someone would say, "Is this table spoken for?" & I could answer, "It's yours." The little bit of money we gave up not selling things was more than made up for by the warm, wonderful feeling of continuing my father's legacy of generosity. Yes, we will miss him but our fond memories will carry on for our lifetimes.