HOT, HOT, HOT!

Goofy things seem to happen to me sometimes. I'm one of those people who have this uncanny ability to attract bizarre events on occasion. As I've aged those episodes seem to have subsided somewhat but every now and then one of them crops up to let me know just how crazy little things in my life can be.

Maybe I come by it naturally since my dad has had a few of them, too, and he sometimes shared them with me. For example, here is one he shared many years ago. He used a tube of Brylcreem on his hair. Why anyone would take squeaky clean, damp hair and put sticky goop in it every day is beyond me but he did. One day he related the story that he accidentally picked up the Brylcreem instead of his toothpaste, put it on his brush and began to clean his teeth. A few seconds later he realized he was brushing his teeth with hair cream and it took him hours to get the taste out of his mouth.

I wondered why he would tell anyone about this faux pas but here I am about to relate one of mine tonight. Must run in the family. I have an arsenal of creams and topical medications that supposedly relieve arthritis and neuropathy that I've purchased over the years. Nothing seems to help a lot but I continue to try various remedies in the hopes that they will lessen the pain of these two afflictions.

I have a roll on applicator of liquid capzasin, a topical analgesic derived from pepper that is supposed to relieve the pain of arthritis. The other night one of the fingers on my right hand that was injured 15 years ago was bothering me a fair amount. I decided to rub some capzasin into that finger. After liberally slathering it onto my right finger, I used my left hand to rub it in thoroughly. Initially the only relief I felt was minimal as it is with any of these treatments.

Shortly thereafter, not thinking, I rubbed my left hand along my upper lip to wipe off my mouth. Then I scratched my nose with my right hand. Within about thirty seconds my mouth began to burn like hell followed quickly by my nose. "Damn, that hurts", was the first thought that went through my mind. I immediately headed to the bathroom using a wet wash cloth to wash off my mouth and nose. It didn't help.....at all.

The burning and pain was not going away but seemed to be intensifying. I quickly searched "how to stop the burning of capzasin" on my computer. The primary antidote was to dab on a mixture of vinegar and water to ease the effects of capzasin. I semi-ran to the kitchen to see if we had any vinegar. I knew where it would be and, finally, behind the olive oil, honey and other spices, located an old bottle of red wine vinegar. Hallelujah!

I diluted it with some water as Google suggested then used a paper towel to dab it all over my mouth and nose. I was feeling a bit of relief in a really short time. You gotta love the internet! Thank God that whatever you need can usually be found there with little effort. Within minutes there was only a minor feeling of tingling pain that was certainly bearable compared to what it was twenty minutes prior.

Even though I enjoyed the relief of NOT having a painful, burning mouth and nose, I was scared to death of touching my face or heaven forbid, my eyes. I washed my hands with soap twice but was not taking the chance of experiencing that pain yet again. I was back to day one of covid protocols - don't touch your face!

Why did I share this with you? I have no idea. Maybe it is some sort of genetic defect that I share with my father in telling others stupid things that we have done to ourselves. Maybe there is some sort of human failing that we feel the need to express to friends and family. Or maybe there just isn't a rational explanation.

And remember, if for some crazy ass reason your mouth, face, nose or anything is burning from capzasin, pepper, chilis or whatever, grab some vinegar, it helps......and for god's sake, don't touch your lips or eyes! By the way, my finger was only minimally improved with the capzasin. But now, a few days later, it's back to feeling okay. I should have left well enough alone but I learned another home remedy. And I bought a new bottle of vinegar to keep handy.

ODDS AND ENDS

Isn't "Normal" Weird?

After over a year of lockdowns, quarantines, face masks and social distancing, it seems a little weird to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel - and realize it isn't a train. It's the beginnings of "normal".

Last week we went out to dinner and actually ate inside the 25% capacity restaurant! To be honest it felt kind of strange, almost like I didn't know exactly what to do. Unfortunately, I think the servers didn't either. The service was lousy, the food was average at best and the price had gone up quite a bit. Hmmm, was restaurant eating overrated?

We are beginning to make some travel plans. I've flown to Albuquerque several times this past year to visit Darrin and Charley but leisure travel was definitely off limits. We have rebooked our Alabama and Georgia trip around a Giants/Braves game the end of August.  Lou and I will celebrate twenty years together this June with a Palm Springs getaway. And we have Pool Parties galore planned with Darrin and Charley this summer since they can now travel freely as well - with all the protocols in place, of course.

Everyone in my circle of friends and family are fully vaccinated or on their way. There is an odd sense of relief after that first shot and a feeling of triumph after the second - I've done my part! Yes, I will continue to follow the CDC guidelines for the most part. It seems that "normal" can actually be on the horizon. But it still feels just a little weird to really believe it. My guess is that it will take some getting used to as the months go on.

Sneezing Fits

I have this strange affliction that my dad had and I think my sister and my son also have occasionally experienced as well. We have what I call sneezing fits. I don't just sneeze once or twice like most people, I suddenly start sneezing two, three, four, five or more times - sometimes I lose count around seven or eight sneezes.

It doesn't really have anything to do with allergies or illnesses, it's just a sneezing fit. I can be sitting in the house reading the paper or driving to the store and it comes on suddenly. When it is over I go right back to what I was doing and I'm fine. Lou and my close friends or family members have learned not to say "bless you" every time I sneeze. It used to be I sneeze, bless you, sneeze again, bless you, sneeze again, bless you, etc., etc., etc. I have convinced them that one "bless you" will cover all of them.

Just curious. Does anyone else have these sneezing fits that go on and on?

 

Delightful Old Lady

Since I am now in my seventies, I have decided that I want to be a delightful old lady when I grow up. The kind who doesn't constantly complain about her maladies, what she can't do anymore or how much everything costs now days. With that in mind, please disregard my above comment about how much it now costs to eat out. I am still a work in progress.

I may not be able to scale mountains or look pretty damn good in a bikini anymore, but seventy-one years of living have given me a ton of compassion and lots of insights into life. My brother-in-law's family had a couple of delightful old ladies who are long passed now but they would enter the room like a whirlwind, smiling, laughing and ready for a glass or wine with rousing conversation - slightly flamboyant and full of life. That's who I want to be.

Sure, we all have aches and pains. We all have things we wish we had done differently but if we've made it to our twilight years then we must have been doing something right. Sure, it can be a royal pain in the ass to grow old but we can decide to welcome it - forget about the bad and embrace the good. It really is all our choice.

I found this quote from the now 71 year old actor, Richard Gere, that sums it up pretty well:

"I am old but I am forever young at heart. We are always the same age inside. Know that you are the perfect age. Each year is special and precious, you can only live it once. Do not regret growing older, it is a privilege denied to many."

THREE DECADES AGO

I'm sitting here staring at the shelves above my computer displaying several things of significance in my life. There are numerous photos....me and Lou on a cruise; Darrin in his pilot outfit; Charley snuggling with me, Darrin and Lou as a 3 year old; Lou leaning against the gates at Graceland; and, four generations (my dad, me, Darrin and Charley) in our Warriors shirts.

Also displayed on my shelves are my "Utah Rocks" mug from my Mother's Day trip to the National Parks in Southern Utah with Darrin; my thesaurus and dictionary (well used from my writings); a fog globe (like a snow globe) giveaway from a Giants game; various special wine bottles along with a sign that reads "Wine improves with age, the older I get the more I like it" and my words of wisdom frame that says "At some point you just have to let go of what you thought should happen and live in what is happening." When I find a particularly meaningful saying I change the frame. This one has been there for several years now.

And there is one other thing. There is a small white coffee mug with purple flowers on it that says "Daughters are Special People". I don't recall the occasion but it was given to me by my mother. My mother was not sentimental and wasn't one to give emotional gifts. March 1st marked the 30th anniversary of the day she died. Somehow that mug has been in the same spot on my shelf for the 18+ years I've lived here with Lou.

I can go weeks, even months without noticing it but lately I've been thinking about it a lot. To be honest I'm not sure what it is that I am thinking when I look at that mug and read the words. Maybe it is just that I wish things had been different with my mother and me. We were never close and I've often told friends that I learned what NOT to do from her when I became a mother. Growing up she wasn't there for me like I needed. As an adult, I know that my mother did the best she could with what she knew. She had some bad things in her life that she said she would tell me sometime but she never did. 

I was 40 when she passed away from breast cancer. After a month long hospital stay she was transferred to a skilled nursing facility. I'm convinced she had other medical problems, too. She was unable to communicate or really interact with any of us. That first evening at the SNF we were all with her. Half an hour after returning home my dad called to tell us they had called and my mom was gone. I believe that for whatever reason she waited until we had all left before dying.

My father seemed to think that she was going to get better and took her death really hard. I knew for months she wasn't going to recover from this and my 14 year old son had lost his cherished grandma. Fortunately, she had discovered the "magic of grandmotherhood" that I now understand and was a wonderful influence in his life. Sometimes reconciling my experience with Darrin's seems like night and day but she was a great grandma. 

None of this is terribly emotional for me (which is odd since I am a very emotional person). When I contemplate these past 30 years without her I'm not really sure what it is that I'm contemplating and I doubt that I ever will. There are a lot of good memories mixed in with the not so good ones.

Sometimes when I see that "Daughters are Special People" mug, I smile and sometimes I don't. I do wonder if it would have been different if she hadn't died when I was 40. I wonder if we would have talked more about some of the real life things as time went on. Most of our discussions were of a superficial nature although the last decade when we were both mothers did give me a glimpse of what might have been if she'd have lived longer. I just looked up at my mug again and the thought struck me that I am now ten years older than my mother was when she died. In this life I'll never know what might have been.

The one thing I do believe with all my heart is that someday I will know. I believe when we die and move into the next realm much is made clear to us. In some form we will be reunited with people from our past. I realize that this post is all over the place and if you're not sure what it is that I'm trying to say, don't worry, I'm not either. I just wanted to share my thoughts as I gaze at the mug my mother gave me over 30 years ago....thanks, Mom.

INGE

I've been trying to write this for days but I honestly don't know where to begin or what to say. So, I'm just going to send what I've got even though it doesn't do justice to this beautiful, amazing woman. Lou's oldest sister, and one of my best friends, Inge, died on January 27th from Covid-19. This is Lou's second sister to succumb to this horrible disease in the past six months. Inge had some health issues but nothing life threatening when she went to the hospital where she likely caught the virus. It has been a nightmare of a year to say the least. 

This post is not intended to be a recounting of Inge's death but rather a positive, uplifting recounting of her life and our friendship. Lou and I have been together almost twenty years. Inge and her husband, Ron, lived out of state when I first came into their family picture. Awhile later, I spoke to her on the phone and we clicked instantly. You know how certain people just seem to connect on some higher level? Well, Inge and I had that from our first phone conversation.

We met in person a couple years later at a family gathering at our house. I was meeting Inge, Ron and Lou's two aunts from Southern California for the first time to celebrate Lou's dad's birthday. My job was to happily play hostess for our group of ten relatives. I enjoy dinner parties as long as I am prepared and prefer to do pretty much everything myself. I had two lasagnas in the oven (one meat and one veggie), the salad was made and I had declined any offers of help telling them all to visit with the "birthday boy".

As I slid one of the foil pans of lasagna from the oven, the damn thing flipped over onto the open oven door! Me being me, I loudly exclaimed, "Fuck!" The conversation in the living room stopped and I heard Inge immediately holler, "We didn't hear anything. But can I help you with something?" Fortunately, we scraped most of it off the oven door and back into the pan. It didn't look quite as attractive but still tasted okay. And Lou's family had their first in person impression of his girlfriend. Luckily they still seemed to like me and I became close friends with a few of them.

My other favorite story regarding Inge was many years later. Inge and Ron had moved back to California and were living in Lodi (about an hour away). Ron was doing an overnight sleep test through the VA in Sacramento. After dropping him off Inge spent the night at our house. She and I were enjoying a bottle of wine since neither of us had to drive. It turns out that we both watched American Idol and this was the year (2009) that Adam Lambert was on the show. I loved Adam Lambert and it turns out that Inge did, too.

He gave a stunning performance! We looked at each other and said, "We have to vote for him!" I don't think I'd ever voted on any of those shows before - or since. This was back in the days before you could vote via text. You had to call or vote online. We raced into our office and I sat down at my computer. Lou was at his computer across the room. Inge, being the big sister, told him to get up, she needed his computer to vote for Adam! Although I'm sure he thought we were a bit crazy, he relinquished his seat. After voting as many times as was allowed we both went back to our wine and the TV. Adam Lambert didn't win that year but it sure as hell wasn't our fault. 

Inge and Ron spent a few years in Montana with Ron's family before moving back to Stockton about 6 or 7 years ago. These past years she and I became even closer friends. We talked on the phone every week or two - often for an hour or more each time. We met for regular lunches which were a wonderful outlet for both of us to vent, whine, bitch - all those things that girlfriends are want to do. We always knew we could count on each other. 

Ron suffered from Lewy body dementia and Inge was such a trooper taking care of him the last couple years of his life. I was so thankful I could be there to listen and help when I could. I attended some of the meetings with her regarding Ron's condition and treatment. She could be a real pit bull when the situation warranted it.

A couple years prior to my hip replacement surgery, Inge went through the same operation. She chose to have the surgery at Stanford. I drove to Stockton, then drove her car (about 150 miles each way) with them to the hospital for all the preliminary appointments - and to babysit Ron since his condition was beginning to worsen. It was an all day ordeal but I was so grateful I could do that for her. I was honored that she asked for my help. Her surgery was a success and it was a prelude to what I would personally experience a few years later.

Ron passed away last April and although we had to curtail our in person lunches due to Covid-19, our phone calls increased this past year. I was looking forward to walking with her on the weekends she stayed with her dad but our first attempt was cancelled due to her hospitalization. I can't believe that my friend is no longer with us. I miss her tremendously and can't imagine life without her.

LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!

Is anyone else somewhat baffled that Saturday Night Live is still on the air? I don't know if I'm just getting too old or SNL has become too political or it's just not as funny anymore. Now days I watch the entire 90 minute show and maybe chuckle once or twice if I'm lucky. And, geez, half the show is taken up by the opening credits to introduce the 20 or so contributing cast members.

At the risk of sounding every bit of my 70 years old, I sure did like it a whole lot better in the good, old days. Saturday Night Live debuted in 1975 - I was all of 25 years old and my son wouldn't be born for another year. The original cast was dubbed "The Not Ready for Prime Time Players" and consisted of John Belushi, Jane Curtain, Gilda Radner, Dan Ackroyd, Garret Morris and Chevy Chase. Just six of them did the entire show and it was really funny.

Chevy Chase left after one year but his pratfalls were legendary. He was followed by Bill Murray, Eddie Murphy and later on, by Jimmy Fallon, Tina Fey, Seth Meyers, Amy Poehler and many others. My research shows that SNL had 156 different cast members over the 45 years of its existence!

Those first six "Not Ready for Prime Time Players" are still the ones who I remember the best. Who can forget Gilda Radner's Roseanne Roseanna Danna's long winded rants about something or other only to find out at the end that she was mistaken or had misunderstood, and simply said, "Never mind."

Being a sports fan, I loved Garret Morris as Chico Esquela, a fictional baseball player from the Dominican Republic, in his interviews as he reiterated, "Baseball been berry, berry good to me." Who didn't love John Belushi and Dan Ackroyd as The Blues Brothers?

John Belushi had some of the craziest and most memorable characters during his short stint on SNL. The Samurai was a good one, but I think my favorite was the Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger sketch that made no real sense but it sure made you laugh. No Coke, Pepsi. No fries, cheeps (chips). If you're too young and think I'm nuts about now, it's on YouTube. Lou and I went to the diner it was modeled after in Chicago on one of our trips - back when we could actually travel places.

Some other memorable characters were Father Guido Sarducci, Baba Wawa and of course, Mr. Bill. There is a special place in my heart for Mr. Bill. He was a little clay clown figurine who was a parody of children's shows of yester year. But this guy always got squished some way or another.

SNL was on at 11:30 PM and I always stayed up to watch it. That was my little bit of me time by myself. One night, Darrin was probably 4 years old, and he couldn't sleep. I brought him in with me and we snuggled on the couch under the afghan to watch Saturday Night Live. When "The Mr. Bill Show" came on the little guy was flattened and as he yelled, "Ooohhhh, Noooooo!", Darrin started giggling. He could not stop laughing which got me laughing. My son and I were laughing uncontrollably for several minutes. What memories!

I loved Eddie Murphy's "Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood" sketches that put a bit of  criminal twist on Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. I heard years later that Fred Rogers actually got a kick out of those bits. Eddie Murphy's take on Buckwheat as a grown up version of the Our Gang character with a speech impediment struck my funny bone, too. Although I'm guessing it is too politically incorrect for this day and age. Buckwheat became the most popular character on SNL at the time and was "killed off" a couple years later when Eddie Murphy was tired of always having to do Buckwheat.

Hopefully, many of you will remember these iconic SNL characters and sketches from days gone by. What are some of your favorites? Hard to believe that show has been around for 45 years! With YouTube it will tickle your fancy to relive all of these classic SNL sketches.

DEALING WITH COVID-19

It has now been over six months since we have been quarantining, locked down, sheltering in place OR whatever it is currently being called. Fortunately, some of the restrictions are being lifted and we are becoming used to the ever present face mask when leaving our house or car, the constant hand sanitizing and "social distancing". I wish they would have called it "physical distancing" so we could still feel that we were being social with other humans just doing it six feet apart.

My intentions were to do lots of writing and lots of blog posts but somehow laying on the couch watching Netflix or reading numerous books became far more time consuming than I intended. Tonight, after watching the 49ers win, the Giants lose (and be eliminated from the baseball playoffs) as well as a NASCAR race, I decided to make myself sit down here and start writing.

There are a bunch of things I want to comment on about these past months of dealing with unprecedented upheaval in our country - the Covid 19 pandemic, the racial unrest and the current political fiasco - BUT that can wait, first, there is something more important that I want to share and offer some unsolicited but essential advice.

Last month Lou's sister, Judy, passed away after 40 days in the hospital, most of them in the ICU on a ventilator. Judy was 70 years old and had been in poor health for years with many serious medical conditions. Back in the middle of July she was admitted to the ER with difficulty breathing. A test showed she had the Covid 19 virus. Judy rarely left her house. A person who cared for her dogs and helped her around the house also tested positive and likely infected Judy. He has since recovered.

No one could visit Judy during her time in the ICU. When the decision was finally made to stop attempting treatment and "let her go peacefully" Lou was finally able to receive special permission to visit. He called his father and sister then held the phone up to Judy's ear so they could talk to her. She was unresponsive but he was able to sit with her, hold her hand and talk to her during the final hours of her life.

My first piece of advice is take this seriously and be very careful who you let into your inner circle of friends and family. Secondly, every single one of us - old, young, healthy or sick -  EVERYONE, needs to make preparations in case the worse happens. I know it is not something any of us want to consider but, please, if you cherish your spouse, children, parents, siblings and friends, suck it up and get your affairs in order.

If you have a large or complicated estate, pay an attorney to set up a trust for you. This is the best way to avoid probate. Discuss it with your heirs and anyone who will be involved. In my case I don't have a lot but what I have goes to my only son and granddaughter. In California and many other states, a handwritten or holographic will, is completely legal and acceptable. Look up the requirements online and do it. A holographic will won't escape probate unless the estate is less than $150,000 in California.

Check your savings accounts and brokerage accounts to determine if they offer a "Transfer on Death" clause. This allows you to designate a beneficiary who will automatically receive these funds upon your death without going through probate. 

Decide who you want to be your "executor" (this can just be a verbal agreement) and make sure they are totally informed as to your wishes regarding life support, cremation or burial. Put all of this in writing. Most hospitals have an "Advance Directive" form you can fill out with all your healthcare wishes. You can indicate your wishes and designate a person to make decisions for you if you can't. Make sure this is on file with the hospital prior to any surgeries.

A Power of Attorney is extremely important. While Lou's sister was alive in the hospital and unable to make decisions, Lou, his sister and their dad's hands were tied since there was no Power of Attorney or Advance Directive.

Choose your executor (in my case it is my son) and make sure they have copies of everything - your will, your Advance Directive, your Power of Attorney, your financial information including online user names and passwords for all accounts - also make copies for your own files and clearly mark them.

Most of us use email or Facebook to communicate now days so give your executor a list of email friends who you want contacted if you are incapacitated or worse. Anything that you deem pertinent should be discussed and written out for your executor.

It is easy to say, I'm fine, I'm careful and put this off. Please, don't. I have seen the nightmare that Lou, his sister and their 96 year old father have gone through trying to figure all of this out when nothing was written down or easy to figure out. It took a lot of people helping to piece things together and hours of searching through boxes and boxes of papers for the past month to sort of get a handle of what has to be done. They haven't even had a chance to grieve their sister and daughter because they have been so preoccupied trying to determine everything that needs to be done.

My goal here is to get everyone thinking about preparing for the end of your life and to make it as easy as possible for your loved ones to sort it all out. After all, as much as we'd like to believe we may be the exception, no one makes it out of this life alive. If you want more information go to Amazon and search for "end of life planners", a ton of books and guides come up. 

Wear the damn mask, wash your hands and stay away from crowds.

And, please, please vote in November! We need some sanity back in our lives.

LISTEN AND LEARN

With the killing of George Floyd & the ensuing protests following the unprecedented (in our lifetimes) Covid-19 pandemic, there is much work to be done by everyone, especially white people. It is time that we stop, listen & learn from what our black brothers & sisters are emphatically telling us.

I don't pay much attention to the sensationalized news stories which are splashed across our TV screens. I am encouraged that my favorite white TV personalities are giving so many intelligent, capable black leaders extended time to discuss not only what is wrong with our country but to offer answers & solutions.

First of all, we have to understand that "white privilege" is real. The huge majority of white people haven't personally done anything to cause it. Rather by virtue of the fact that we are treated differently than black people simply because of our race is something that has been going on in the United States since its inception. The common cry this time is that we need to do something to stop it. I certainly haven't wanted to believe it but I am learning to accept that racism is still, STILL, a major problem in our country centuries later.

I've been watching Jimmy Fallon this week who did an informative show from home this past Monday talking to Derrick Johnson, president & CEO of the NAACP, and Don Lemon of CNN. Jimmy Fallon had been advised to simply ignore the recent controversy over a blackface skit on Saturday Night Live twenty years ago that resurfaced & just let it die down. Then the killing of George Floyd happened with all the riots & Fallon made the decision to not listen to that advice. He instead made a heartfelt apology & gave the floor to Johnson who praised him for not staying quiet & shared some good thoughts & insights. Including that we all need to continue the conversations & listen to each other.

Ellen deGeneres has been doing her show from  home & has spent all week discussing the issues with influential black people. Notably Keisha Lance Bottoms, mayor of Atlanta, & Val Demmings, Florida congresswoman, gave impassioned pleas for change. Both Fallon & deGeneres have stressed that white people need to change & be instrumental in demanding that our government needs to change.

Several black leaders have addressed the fact that everyone, black & white, needs to be able to make a mistake & not be crucified for that error. We are all human, we will make mistakes. But the goal is to learn from that mistake, make changes & move forward. In the meantime, let's be kinder to each other & allow them to falter. But let's also then listen to each other then show some empathy & respect toward our fellow Americans. We are all going to say or do the wrong thing sometimes.

This past week, our longtime Sacramento Kings announcer made a social media gaffe which cost him his job. He replied that "All Lives Matter" to a post of "Black Lives Matter" by a former player. Being the mother of a 44 year old white male, I didn't see the problem of that statement since my son's life matters just as much. BUT I learned a different perspective on those statements over the past few days . My son explained that if you say, "Save the Whales" & someone responds "Save All Sea Creatures", the message is yes, that is true, but right now, the whales need more help from us. It isn't an either/or statement.

Yesterday I saw photos of a young black girl holding a sign that read, "We Didn't Say ONLY Black Lives Matter." I get it now. Thanks for the education. Black Lives Matter.

Listening to an array of black leaders this past week, it is clear that no one is endorsing the rioting & looting & violence against others. I believe those people are a tiny minority who just want to destroy property, steal & cause mayhem. The huge majority of people are trying to continue the peaceful protests of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. They made huge strides back in the 1960s & now it is time to make huge strides again. This time with ALL white people & ALL black people working together.

So what can we do? Derrick Johnson of the NAACP suggested that every white person make a new black friend. Then talk & listen to each other. That is excellent advice. Once the Covid-19 restrictions are lifted, I intend to do that. We can work in our own communities to change the laws governing the police. I still believe that the huge majority of police officers want to make our cities safer without using unnecessary violence. 

The common thread that I've heard from black leaders is for white people to truly listen, with an open mind, to what the black experience is in our country. Years ago I saw a former NFL wide receiver on TV. He was tall, extremely handsome, well-groomed & well-spoken. He lives in a nice part of town & drives a Mercedes. He said, "Not a week goes by that I don't pass a white woman on the street that she doesn't take her purse & hug it close to her body." I don't know the answer to stop this behavior but I know that we have to listen, accept our different experiences & unite as a country of concerned Americans who want to make this nation strong & welcoming for every citizen!

I will close with another common theme during this past week expressed by every one of the people I mentioned. We have no leadership in our country. Our president is a narcissist who is incapable of bringing this country together. WE MUST, WE MUST go to the polls (or mail in our ballots) & vote this man out of office. I could resort to all kinds of denigration & name calling but he isn't worth the effort. Instead let me leave you with a few quotes regarding Trump's leadership:

"We have a president who isn't capable of performing the job & doesn't understand the job. He doesn't talk like a leader, he talks like a dictator," Kamala Harris, U.S. Senator.

"America is a tinderbox & his tongue is a match," Keisha Lance Bottoms, Atlanta mayor.

"He is a dictator in waiting & a threat to democracy. He is dangerous," Val Demmings, Florida congresswoman.

"His approval rating is plummeting. He can go for 100% disapproval & take credit for uniting the country," Jimmy Fallon. Just because we still need to laugh or we will be crying.

If you want to listen to any of these interviews they can be seen on YouTube. Search for the name & the show on which they appeared. Example: "Kamala Harris on Jimmy Fallon" or "Val Demmings on Ellen".