CRYING TIME

I need to bitch, vent & whine a little - both kinds, whine & wine. Between my father's health needs & lately, my own, I swear that I spend half my life dealing with medical issues & the other half at WalMart or WinCo. All I do is go grocery shopping & call or visit doctors & nurses trying to figure out how to handle the next medical crisis.

Let's start with my dad. Unfortunately, his health issues have been one problem after another for the past 13+ years. It would take writing a book just to give you the Reader's Digest version of his ailments but I'm not going to subject you to that. Thank God we have a great live-in caregiver who really wants to be there for him - & for me. But it still involves almost daily problem solving, running around to buy this or pick up that & far more time than I'd like to spend.

He drives me crazy sometimes! Okay, lots of times. I always tell people raising my kid was a piece of cake. It's the parent who will drive you batty! It is like having a 200 pound toddler AND to make it worse, they never grow up, they just get worse. My sister says that if our mother were still alive she would have killed him by now. Maybe.

Now, let's move on to me since I'm my biggest problem lately. Damn, damn, damn it! About 6 or 7 weeks ago, my right hip started bothering me. And I don't mean, oh, that is kind of sore. Every step I took or every move I made (hmmm, sounds like a Police song) hurt like hell & at times I was afraid I might fall down. In the past I've occasionally had a day or two of this sort of thing. But this was not going away. I went to the chiropractor a couple times with no improvement.

We went on a four day trip to Southern California a month ago & it really limited what I could do. Sitting hurt, standing hurt, walking hurt - laying didn't hurt too much most of the time. It was not fun. A couple weeks later I flew to Albuquerque to spend a few days with Darrin & Charley. Darrin was with his daughter for the week before Thanksgiving & invited me for a visit. I was definitely going!

By now I was getting somewhat used to my limitations & made a point of standing as soon as the plane landed so I could start putting weight on it gently before the mad dash off the airplane. I didn't want to be sprawled in the aisle as everyone either "ooohhed" & "aaahhed" or just stepped over me. Fortunately, it didn't hamper my playing with the Monster High ghouls, watching movies or going to Taco Bell with Charley. But it wasn't getting any better & I was really getting tired of it.

Upon returning I made an appointment with my doctor who determined that I had bursitis in my hip. Well, shit! Since I have moderate arthritis in both feet, I assumed it was in my hips, too. Arthritis is one of the causes of bursitis (inflammation of the bursae that cushions your joints). Sure enough, an x-ray confirmed - mild to moderate arthritis. Looks like my 25 years of jogging finally caught up with me. The doctor said take ibuprofen 3 to 4 times a day for a week to try to knock down the inflammation. Today was day 7 & it isn't any better at all.

We will discuss a corticosteroid injection and/or physical therapy at my follow up appointment tomorrow. I'm on the fence about the shot after reading horror stories online of people who got worse afterward. BUT when it hurts like hell, I'm thinking give me the damn shot - NOW!

So, feeling every bit of my 67 years & dealing with my 89 year old father & his myriad of health problems had me feeling the need to do some serious bitching & venting. As I hobbled & limped around, struggling to get up off the floor when adjusting my dad's wheelchair brakes & then putting up his Christmas decorations, I was ready to scream - literally.

In fact, screaming is VERY therapeutic. By yourself in the car is the best place to indulge. I haven't done it in a few years but today I just took a deep breath & screamed at the top of my lungs for several seconds! Try it sometime. You will feel better. But if that isn't enough then just have a good, old fashioned cry. The kind that Oprah calls the "ugly cry" where your nose is running, your eyes are red, you're sobbing & snorting & gasping. Every now & then you just have to get it all out of you in order to face the next day. Oh, yeah, & grab that glass of wine, too! 

I HATE LA (TRAFFIC)

Earlier this week we took a four day road trip to Southern California. I figured it was a little over 80 hours total & I swear we spent at least 20 of those hours sitting in traffic! For as long as I can remember the traffic in Los Angeles has been horrendous. If you think it is bad in Sacramento, it is a piece of cake compared to SoCal. Even the Bay Area can't hold a candle to having constant gridlock on six, eight or ten freeways in the southland at any given time.

My first recollection of LA traffic was back when I was a kid & my family drove to Disneyland. Even then, it was the classic kid's whine, "Are we there yet?" Twenty-five years later my son improved on the traditional line of frustrated kids who have spent hours in the car when he huffed & sighed saying, "Why don't we just stop driving around & go there?"

Back about 48 years ago I married a man who was from Southern California & still had family residing around the Los Angeles area. We made monthly trips down south leaving after work on Fridays & returning Sunday afternoons. After years of doing this, I really learned to hate LA, which wasn't hard. The main factor was the traffic - I won't go into some of the other reasons - you can use your imagination. Not to mention that being a life long Bay Area sports fan, hating the Dodgers & the Lakers & the Rams is just in your DNA.

Lou has taken a few trips to LA by himself to visit things that didn't interest me. After his last one about a year ago, he told me that the traffic was so bad, he swore there was no way he would drive down there again. But yet here we were sitting in god awful traffic for hours on end. It's one of those things that is like having a baby - you have to forget how truly bad it was before you are willing to do it again.

Honestly, I'm one of those people who believes that California should be divided into two states, North California & South California, just like North & South Dakota or North & South Carolina. There is no way that all the bullshit of southern California should be lumped in with our beautiful northern state.

In fairness, I can sort of see the appeal of the mild weather, the beaches & the entertainment industry. BUT just a few hours in the interminable traffic puts a real damper on the nicer things. On this trip we had tickets to a Jeopardy taping which was lots of fun. After watching a young man named Ryan win over $60,000 on three "days", all in about 2-1/2 hours with several costume changes, we drove over to the coast to Santa Monica.

It was beautiful with lovely weather. After a late lunch back in Culver City, we decided to have ice cream for dinner along the Third Street Promenade area of Santa Monica. We hopped in the car about 5:30 PM to drive the 8 miles back to our hotel. Our GPS told us that the trip would take 16 minutes. Yeah, right. We knew that wouldn't happen as we entered the gridlock of the 110 on our way to the 405. Why do southern Californians call their freeways "the 405" or "the 110"? We don't say get on "the 80" or take "the 5". That just sounds stupid.

Anyway, back on "the 110", Lou made the comment with a hint of sarcasm in his voice that we should make it back to the hotel to watch Jeopardy by 7 PM. Turns out he was wrong. It literally took us two hours to drive 8 miles during rush hour. Well, lets say it took 1-1/2 hours since I really had to pee after an hour & we spent half an hour just getting off the freeway to head into a mall where we could find a bathroom. Los Angeles is not restroom friendly unless you buy something.

We arrived back at our hotel just as Jeopardy ended. I immediately poured a glass of wine & plopped on the bed to relax. I have no idea how people do this every single day commuting to work AND then if you want to do something fun on the weekend it is the same damn thing - traffic, traffic & more traffic!

The next morning as we left for home we had to do it all again. The 405 was stop & go for miles - uh, what else is new? As the traffic began to thin through the San Fernando Valley, I sighed in relief. In another few hours we would be out of the crazy ass traffic in SoCal - & none too soon. Did I mention that I hate LA traffic???

SHERRY STRONG

Most of you know that I am a huge sports fan which includes NASCAR. Years ago Lou commented that the song, "She Don't Love Me More Than NASCAR", was perfect for me! Nah, I love him a little more. For twenty plus years my favorite driver was Jeff Gordon. Jeff retired a couple years ago so I switched my allegiance to Carl Edwards. I liked Tony Stewart, too. At the end of that year, both Tony & Carl retired. What the hell?

I had a hard time getting into NASCAR early this year. All of my favorite drivers were gone. The new rules like stage racing & time limits on repairs seemed contrived & unnecessary. I had always liked Martin Truex, Jr., who drove for one of the lesser teams that didn't stand much chance of winning consistently. But I went ahead & settled on Martin as my current favorite. He is a really good guy, a great driver & seemed to be an upstanding citizen which is more than I can say for many of the current leading drivers. There are a bunch of really young drivers who could all be my grandsons but none grabbed my fancy as a new fave.

As I learned more about Martin Truex, Jr. these past couple of years, I discovered his long time girlfriend, Sherry Pollex, & her incredible story. Three years ago, at age 35, Sherry was diagnosed with stage three ovarian cancer. Her prognosis was grim. She underwent hours of extensive surgery followed by 17 months of exhausting chemotherapy. Here is an excerpt from her website - SherryStrong.org

"But as family and friends know, Pollex has a stubborn streak and doesn’t take kindly to being told she can’t do something. With Truex Jr. and family by her side, she fought for her life, and chose a doctor who would fight alongside her. Within days, she underwent a radical hysterectomy and debulking surgery expected to last four hours that instead lasted seven grueling hours as her surgeon painstakingly removed every trace of cancer he could see with the human eye.

"During the 17 months of treatment that followed, supporters cheered her on by using #SherryStrong via social media. Each message reminded her to fight and inspired a new reason to live."

I have watched Sherry, a truly beautiful woman inside & out, these past couple of years at NASCAR races. She has been there to support Martin with her two inch blonde hair & brilliant smile every step of the way. In 2017 Martin has had a storybook year in NASCAR winning seven races (a series high) & is the front runner to win the overall championship in a few weeks.

Sherry knew that her chances weren't good but she refuses to "live by the numbers".  The rate of recurrence for ovarian cancer is 85% in the first three years. Sherry made it one year & four months before the cancer returned this past September. At home recovering from surgery when Martin won race number six, Sherry tweeted her congratulations with a photo. When talking about Sherry in the post race interview, Martin became emotional & teary at the strength & support he receives from her.

Once again following surgery, Sherry is undergoing chemo but she was present for Martin's seventh win two weeks ago. The smile of this gorgeous, courageous woman is infectious. Her bravery is inspirational. Sherry & Martin have a foundation to educate & promote cancer research. I urge you all to take a look at her website: SherryStrong.org.

My love of NASCAR has been revitalized due to Martin & Sherry. Yes, I'm cheering big time for Martin Truex, Jr. to win the NASCAR championship this year. But I'm rooting even harder for Sherry Pollex to win her fight against ovarian cancer & be there at Martin's side for years & years to come. They are an amazing, heartwarming couple who are doing great things in the fight again this horrible disease.

This is exactly why I love sports! There is so much more to sporting events than the final score or number of wins. The stories behind the competitors & their families make them the real winners - not of the race, the game or the event, but of life!

If you want to read more, here is Martin's story: https://www.theplayerstribune.com/martin-truex-jr-nascar-cancer/

MOSQUITOES - THE LITTLE SUCKERS

I do not like mosquitoes but they sure as hell like me! For as long as I can remember I have been prime meat for mosquitoes to sink their little proboscises into & draw out a little droplet of my blood. I suppose it has something to do with my skin being fair or easy to pierce or I'm just really susceptible to them. Our unusually hot fall has the little buggers out in force.

The damn little things seem to land on me & bite me without my even noticing. I rarely feel anything when they do their damage. BUT shortly thereafter, the god awful itching will drive me almost insane. I'm guessing I'm a little more allergic to them to most people because the first couple of days I form half inch welts where each bite was made. Hell, that's way bigger than the little suckers that do the biting!

Okay, this description of what happens when a mosquito bites you kind of freaked me out. I had no idea it was this creepy. Here is what I found online: "The mosquito truly is a blood-sucking machine. The thin tube the insect injects into the skin, what's called the proboscis, is actually comprised of six different needles that all work in tandem to extract blood from the body. The first two needles act a bit like teeth. The have tiny ridges at the end that help the mosquito puncture through the skin. A second pair of needles act like clamps during the blood draw, holding the skin's tissues apart to allow the last set of needles to do their work. Among these is a needle that acts like a homing beacon; it finds our blood vessels by detecting the chemicals they give off, and then slurps up the tasty blood inside. The last needle is the real jerk: it injects chemicals into our vessels to stimulate blood flow. But it's also what makes those itchy bumps appear after the mosquito gets its fill and leaves. All of these needles are shielded by a flexible sheath called the labium."  EEEEWWWW!!!!

Now, I know why my mosquito bites itch so damn bad, but I'd sure like to know how to relieve that incessant itching. Years ago I had a tube of ointment called Caladryl that seemed to help ease the itching but I can't find it anymore. It was pink & I'm assuming it was a combination of calamine lotion & Benadryl. I dug around in the cupboard until I finally found the tube. Unfortunately, the little bit that remained was hard as a rock.

Normal hydrocortisone cream only gives minimal relief at best. I bought some liquid Benadryl specifically for insect bites which advertised instant relief from itching - NOT. It turns out that my mom's old remedy of a baking soda & water paste is still the best relief. It doesn't last long but you can keep putting it on as often as needed.

I just looked up "home remedies for mosquito bites" & found lots of things to try:

Oatmeal - it contains potent antioxidants, known as avenanthremides, which reduce inflammation and may calm itch.

Ice cubes - the brain can only process one sensation at a time, hold an ice cube on the bite & the itching will stop as you feel the intense cold.

Yogurt - a great inflammation reducer & the probiotics have skin calming properties.

Aloe vera - squeeze the gel from the leaf onto the bite for its anti-inflammatory benefits.

Honey - apply it directly to the bite for its anti-inflammatory & anti-microbial properties.

Aspirin - dissolve it in water & apply the paste to the bite to calm the itching.

I found our bottle of honey & put a dab on the bite on the top of my foot. It seemed to help slightly but then I accidently rested my opposite foot on top of that one getting honey on the bottom of it. When I walked into the bathroom to wipe it off my foot was sticking to the floor. And I certainly couldn't go to bed with honey on my foot.

The ice cube thing did work temporarily. We'll see how long it lasts. I have an aspirin waiting to be soaked in water & dissolved as the next attempt to stop the fricking itching. It amazes me how a stupid, little flying insect can disrupt your life for a few days!

Does anyone else have something that will ease the crazy-ass itching?

LORNA & BILL

Over the past 40+ years as I've traveled on tours & cruises around the world, fellow travelers would exchange contact information during the trip vowing to keep in touch. In reality I've learned that very rarely happens. So much so that our last few trips I haven't even asked for or shared my email & phone number. On our recent Iceland, Greenland & Norway cruise Lou handed out his cards to our table mates. He hasn't heard from anyone yet.

There are two notable exceptions to this in my estimated sixty or so trips. One was a Carnival Caribbean cruise in March of 2016. We booked the cruise fairly late & the anytime dining choice was sold out. Lou & I normally take this option since we can often get a table for two & like to say that we prefer each others company rather than strangers. But maybe it's just because our kindergarten report cards had the "Doesn't play well with others" box checked.

We were seated at a table for eight on this cruise. It happened that Lou & I sat opposite a delightful woman named Helen & her husband, Weldon on the first evening. Helen & I hit if off like old friends, enjoyed each other's company & talked nonstop. Some of our other table mates thought we were traveling together. We did exchange info & regularly comment on each others Facebook pages but I wouldn't say that we "keep in touch" closely. Although I would love cruising with them again sometime!

The traveling companion who is still my regular correspondent after 7 & 1/2 years is Lorna. We met Lorna & her husband, Bill, from Michigan, on a Danube River Cruise for my 60th birthday. The river boat was small, I think around 200-300 cruisers. Dinner was always open seating & less than halfway through we started gravitating toward finding each other at the same table.

Lou & I were impressed that Bill was just a few months shy of his 90th birthday & here he was on a two week river cruise in Europe! If my math is correct, Lorna was about 12 or 13 years younger than him. They told us that this would likely be their last big trip. Wow, that's fantastic! I hope I'm still traveling the world at 89 years old!

A couple of things about Bill are etched in my mind. At one port in Bulgaria, the tour included a hike up to the top of a beautiful mountain. It wasn't super strenuous but it had me huffing & puffing a few times until we reached the top for the gorgeous views. As we took it all in, we turned around & there was Bill at the top! He had his little device that doubled as a cane & a three-legged seat when you unfolded it & he was enjoying the scenery as well You go, Bill!

As we conversed over dinners, Lorna pointed out that Bill had a shunt in his head to drain fluid for Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus just like my dad does. His had been caught early & really helped to reverse some of his symptoms allowing him to still enjoy traveling. Wine was included with dinner &, of course, we indulged regularly. Also regularly, Bill would knock his glass of wine over! The waiters would run over, wipe it up & pour him another one. It really endeared me to him.

But the real jewel of that trip was Lorna. She has emailed me regularly for 7 plus years, always complimenting me on my blog posts. Numerous times, she has thanked me for allowing her to travel along with us over the years or related her stories of their trip to the same places in the past. 

Sadly, Bill passed away this past February at the age of 96. Lorna has since moved to Texas to be closer to her children & grandchildren. She still keeps in touch, just recently emailing to make sure we weren't affected by the terrible wildfires in Northern California. We have really become friends over the years & I look forward to hearing from her.

I am always heartened to see an email from Lorna each time I include her in my blog post emails. It often says "sent from my iPad". How cool is that to be 80-something & sending emails from your iPad? She has told me if she stops writing it is likely because she is incapacitated or dead.

Lou & I are planning a trip to Texas next May to take in a Giants-Astros game & do some sightseeing that will take us through the town where Lorna is living. I asked her if she would like us to stop by for a visit. She was thrilled & so am I!. It's one of the things I'm really looking forward to on that trip.

GUN VIOLENCE

It is time to resurrect this post from December 2015 - almost two years have passed & nothing has changed, except perhaps that now each mass murdering lunatic feels the need to upstage the previous one. According to the FBI statistics almost 16,000 people each year are killed by gun violence in our country. When will we say "Stop"?

 

This is what I wrote two years ago:

 

Yesterday, two people armed with assault weapons killed 14 people & injured 17 more in yet another senseless mass shooting. This is happening at alarming rates in this country of ours. At some point those of us rational, appalled & disgusted citizens need to step up & say, "Enough is enough."

At this point, I'm not really sure what has to happen to stop this massacre of innocent people. If the killing of 20 elementary school children & 6 teachers in Sandy Hook, Connecticut, didn't bring the huge majority of Americans to unite & stop these horrific murders, I don't know what will. As a grandmother I just want to wrap my Charley in my arms & protect her from this evil. But I can't.

On July 4, 1983, my 81 year old Grandpa Frank & my grandmother, who we called Nannie, left my parent's house at 9:30 PM to drive home to Oakland. We spent the evening eating dinner then setting off fireworks out front. I was 33 years old with a 7 year old son who laughed along with Grandpa Frank as a ground flower "chased" his father after lighting it.

With my son in bed after a fun day of family visiting, I took the call around 10 PM from my mother that Grandpa Frank had been shot & my parents were driving to the hospital to be with Nannie. About an hour later the second call from my mother told me that Grandpa Frank was dead. He had been shot in the head at point blank range as he sat in his car outside of their house.

We could only speculate on what had happened. As always, Grandpa Frank dropped Nannie off in front of the house to go in the front door. He would then drive the car to the detached garage in the back. Nannie would unlock the back door for him. When he didn't come in after several minutes she went back to the front to find him slumped in the car covered in blood - killed seconds after she entered the house. She hurried back into the house to call 9-1-1 but we learned later that he was already dead.

Again, we all had our theories on who committed this senseless murder of an 81 year old man. My father believed it was a robbery gone bad. He still had the $80 in his wallet. My grandfather was a man who called a spade a spade & didn't take any crap from anyone. I believe that someone in the predominantly black neighborhood who he offended decided the Fourth of July was the perfect time to kill him. Whatever the reason, Grandpa Frank was dead & Nannie was a widow.

We were all scared of our own shadows for weeks. Their neighbors were terrified as to who would murder an old man & wondered if they were next. My 7 year old son couldn't comprehend that someone would kill his Grandpa Frank & to be honest, neither could I. It was a horrific time as we packed up Nannie's things. My mother wouldn't let her spend one more night in that house.

So, even though it has been more than 32 years since that traumatic night, it comes back to me every time there is another senseless killing. Only the multiple murders are reported in the news now days. The individual killings, like my Grandpa Frank, don't even warrant a few seconds on TV since they are too numerous. His killer was never found & we've done our best to move on as a family.

My thoughts are that we need to outlaw assault weapons & high powered guns - period. No one needs them. If you want a rifle to hunt, fine. If you want a handgun to protect you, fine - hell, I know how to shoot a gun & I owned one for years. BUT no one, I repeat NO ONE, needs high powered assault weapons.

It is too easy to buy guns & far too easy to take them into schools & other places to kill innocent people. Those of us who believe this is unacceptable need to stand up & say, "Enough is enough!" Write your representative & senator telling them this needs to stop now! Don't vote for the politicians who won't support gun control!

And if any of you reading this disagree & want to tell me why my views are wrong & we should all have AK-47s in our closet, please don't bother. You will never convince me & I won't listen. And maybe, just maybe, if your grandfather is killed by senseless gun violence, you won't either.

Next day note: The newspaper this morning had one line that says it all, "Yes, 14 people were killed in a horrible tragedy yesterday but there were likely also 40 other people killed by gun violence in this country." These killings barely get a mention in the local paper. This has got to stop!

MATT CAIN

Unless you are a Northern California resident or a Giants baseball fan, you probably won't completely understand this post but I'll do my best to describe it to you. Our San Francisco Giants won three World Series Championships in five years - 2010, 2012, & 2014. It was magical to be a Giants fan during that time. It still is - because the organization, the players & the fans are amazingly special. Even though our team was terrible record-wise & were working to NOT lose 100 games (which they managed to do!) these last few games were incredibly moving & emotional.

That is because one of our starting pitchers, Matt Cain, a 13 year veteran, retired at the end of this season. Yesterday he was given his final start on the mound even though he hadn't pitched in about a month. This organization does a great job of honoring its players. Matt began his Giant career as a 20 year old & played only for the Giants. It is a rarity for a player to be with one team for his entire career as a Major League ball player.

Matt was on all three World Series winning teams. His post season record was one of the best. He had some huge wins for us. Matt was always an all-around good guy. I recall a photo of him posing holding his baby daughter who is now about seven years old. Yesterday he said in an interview he wants to be "dad mom" to his two daughters & commented that if their hair doesn't look right, he did it.

Back in June 2012, Matt Cain pitched the only perfect game in Giants history. A perfect game is extremely rare. That is when a pitcher faces only 27 batters, the minimum, no one gets on base at all - no hits, no walks, no errors, no one on base. There are only 23 perfect games ever in the history of the game. My entire life I wanted to be able to witness a perfect game. 

I vividly recall watching that game on TV. As the innings wore on & still no one reached base, I called my son, my sister, my father & asked if they were all watching. They were. It is considered a superstition to never mention a no-hitter while it is in progress. We didn't know if that applied to a perfect game as well, but we all just said, "Are you watching this?" It took a few great defensive plays & unbelievable pitching from Matt to complete the first perfect game in Giants history. It is a moment I will never forget. Thanks, Matt!

Yesterday, when Matt pitched the final game in his career, even though it was a terrible season, there was an incredible amount of emotion rolling around the ball park. He completed five innings giving up only 2 hits & no runs scored by the other team when the manager took him out of the game. The crowd gave him a standing ovation when he took the mound, at the end of each inning & when he was finally finished. The moment was one of the most emotional I've seen in baseball.

Of course, I cried but that's not a good indicator since I cry at coffee & beer commercials. But Matt was teary, the announcers were wiping their eyes & most fans & players needed a tissue or two. There were hugs for Matt from every coach & player when he left the game. There was a strong, heartfelt embrace between Matt & our best pitcher, Madison Bumgarner, that lingered for many seconds which moved everyone. "There wasn't a dry eye in the stadium," our announcers commented on their hug adding, "These aren't touchy, feely guys." But for a few seconds they were.

When talking with my sister, who said she, too, was in tears for the whole thing, I wondered why this particular retirement was so emotional. I believe it is because this signals the end of the three championship era for the Giants. Maybe there will be more or maybe there won't. But this was such an unbelievable accomplishment & to have one of the icons of the Giants reign retire moved every fan to tears. His genuine love for the game, the organization & the fans came through loud & clear. Yes, winning is good, but there is so much more to the game than that. We witnessed that yesterday & today with the celebration of Matt Cain.

OUR ROCK STAR

Today I was in Hayward helping Darrin clean his old apartment & take the final couple of car loads to his new duplex - close by, smaller, quieter & much less expensive! While looking through some of Charley's toys & hanging up her princess dresses, I was reminded of a fun time we shared this past summer.

My granddaughter has quite the imagination. I spent the afternoon with her at our house in Sacramento while her dad was at a meeting & Lou was volunteering at the airport. Charley decided that she wanted to have "a rock star party" when everyone returned home.

I quizzed her on what we needed to do to have this rock star party. She told me that she would sing a song & we had to make a stage. Our house has a staircase to the upstairs bedroom that goes up 7 steps to a landing before making a 180 degree turn to continue another 6 steps up to our bedroom. The landing was to be the stage.

We spent close to an hour figuring it all out. I had made her a long princess dress that she would wear for her performance. We tied her lighted snowflake wand from "Frozen on Ice" to the banister so that it shined on the landing with sparkling, multi-colored lights. A green tablecloth was stretched across the landing to make a curtain that would be dropped when the rock star appeared. Beads, leis, flowers & any number of other decorations were strewn up & down the stairs.

Charley wanted Lou to sit at the bottom of the stairs & play his "kitar" while Charley sang. I love how she always calls a guitar, a "kitar". There were lots of words that Darrin mispronounced as a child but Charley rarely does.

When Lou arrived home first, Charley briefed him on his part & they did a quick rehearsal. Charley said, "We need a microphone." Lou replied, "I have a microphone." I had no idea we had a microphone. Turns out, it was a relic - a microphone with a cord! But it was a microphone never the less & did the job just fine.

When Daddy arrived home, it was SHOWTIME! Stagehand, lighting director & announcer, AKA Gaga, & Charley went up the stairs then stretched the curtain/tablecloth across the stairway. Lou took his position at the bottom of the stairs with his "kitar". Charley stepped into position behind the curtain. Gaga turned on the flashing lights of the wand & announced, "Ladies & gentlemen, we are proud to have one of the biggest rock stars in the country with us tonight. So without further delay, I present to you CHARLEY ELLEN!"

I dropped the corner of the curtain to reveal Charley in her princess gown holding her microphone. The crowd went wild with applause & yelling. To my total surprise Charley sang a song that she made up about stars in the sky. She went on & on singing a few different lines that all talked about the night sky with all the stars. It was just beautiful! We were all blown away!

When the performance ended, everyone clapped & cheered loudly. Darrin said, "Wow, Charley! Did you make that song up all by yourself?" Both Charley & I answered, "Yes." Darrin looked at Lou & said, "When she is a famous singer & songwriter, you can say you accompanied her in her debut on your stairs back in 2017!"

It was such a joy to remember this special time with my beautiful granddaughter today. These sorts of things are my favorite times with my Charley. When we make up something totally out of our heads & then follow it through, I love it. I can only imagine that as she gets older the shows will get better & better. Can't wait to make more memories with the light of my life!

CRUISE NAILS!

I’m sitting here looking down at my long, square cut, sparkly purple fingernails! In my 67 years on this earth, I have never had any kind of artificial nails…..until yesterday. After a crazy couple of weeks with my dad in the ER, the hospital & finally back home with more care, doctor appointments & home health nurses literally every single day, it was past time to treat myself to something special for our upcoming cruise to Iceland, Greenland & Norway.

With my dad on the road to recovery, I made an appointment for a gel manicure & wanted to ask about tips to increase the length. This was a wild & crazy step for me! I’m afraid of acrylic nails that cover the entire nail. I have known a couple friends who had an awful time when they were taken off ruining their natural nails until they completely grew out. Nope….not doing that.

When I had my hair trimmed a couple weeks ago, the stylist I always go to had moved to a new location. Next to her station was a woman who does nails….a woman whose native language is English, who makes appointments & doesn’t rush like crazy if another customer comes in the door that she doesn’t want to turn away.

This woman explained how tips work with various options for this nail neophyte. She explained that they will grow out completely in just a few months since they are only glued on about the first 1/8 to 3/16 inch of each nail. She suggested doing something glitzy for the cruise. I figured, “What the hell, do something crazy, Kath! Go for the bling!” Then I went even crazier & had her make them square cut since I’ve never had nails long enough to do square. Probably should have stuck with oval but, hey, might as well go for the gusto, right?

Even though they are long for me, they are probably short by most fingernail standards. But I’ve got to tell you there are sacrifices to be made with longer fingernails. For example, it is not easy to type. I seem to leave out or add letters all the time. Hopefully, I’ll learn how to type better as I practice because this is a necessary part of my life. Otherwise, this may be the only cruise on which I sport fancy fingernails.

Today while going about my day running errands I discovered that getting a credit card out of your wallet could be quite an ordeal. It took me long enough at CVS that it was getting uncomfortable watching me try. I was close to asking the clerk to pull it out for me when I finally got it. Geez! Things like scratching your head or picking up tiny, flat objects can also be a bit challenging. Not to mention that several times today I would catch a glimpse of my long, glittery, purple nails & think, "Whose hands are those?"

Yesterday morning before my appointment, I decided to polish my own toenails. I had a bad experience with a pedicure a few years ago & just do my own. But it is getting harder & harder. Removing the old polish isn’t easy since pulling my foot up into my lap with the toes facing up is a bit more difficult now days. And when the new polish goes on, it is getting tougher & tougher to see well enough for the detailed brushwork.

I usually sit on the kitchen floor by the sliding glass door for natural light along with the overhead lights on. After the first coat of polish was on one foot my cell phone rang….in the living room. “Damn it!” I exclaimed since it was likely a doctor’s office or home health nurse calling. Remember, I’m sitting on the floor with wet toenails so I can’t slide my foot under me or twist onto my knee without smearing the polish everywhere. By the time I managed to pull myself upright with purple toes intact, my phone had stopped ringing.

About this time, Lou walks in & says, “Your phone is ringing.” I simply replied, “Yes, sweetie, I know.” I called the number back saying I just missed a call from this number. It was indeed, a home health nurse scheduling a visit to my dad. I eased back down to the well lit corner of the floor with my phone close by to finish my toes. I wonder how long I'll be able to contort myself enough to polish my own toenails? Hmmm, when Charley is a little older, maybe I can pay her to do them for me?

STAR WARS FIGURES & MONSTER HIGH GHOULS

Sometime in the mid-1980s, I walked into the Hayward Toys R Us by myself heading straight to the back aisle. I knew exactly where to find the Star Wars toys. Darrin was in school but since the latest shipment of Star Wars figures was due to arrive about 10 AM, I was on my own. It wasn't the first time I was flying solo on the Star Wars quest & it wouldn't be the last.

Darrin was a huge collector of all things Star Wars. Our family room was home to an X-Wing Fighter, a Millennium Falcon, a Rancor, an AT-AT (All Terrain, Attack Transport), Ewoks & lots more. He was able to recreate many scenes from all three of the original Star Wars movies. The small action figures were often his primary focus since they were affordable & plentiful. I'm sure there were well over 100 of them but many were really difficult to find.

Being an involved, somewhat crazy mom, I embraced the search for hard to find action figures. That is what had me heading to Toys R Us after dropping Darrin off at school. It seemed we would never find a few particular figures. I recall the search for "Lando Calrissian in Skiff Guard Disguise" being the pinnacle of action figure nirvana. Months went by without ever finding that particular action figure.

We knew the days & times that new shipments of Star Wars stuff arrived at Toys R Us. It was so popular that often the store employees just put the cardboard boxes filled with various toys & figures in the aisles. That morning I was there sitting on the floor along with a long haired, nerdy teen-ager (not sure why he wasn't in school) searching through the boxes of action figures.

Many of the older teens & adults were collectors & kept the figures sealed in the original package. It was assumed that the resale value would be much higher way in the future if they ever decided to sell the prized possessions. Darrin, on the other hand, played with all of his Star Wars toys & spent countless hours setting up scenes.

As I thumbed through one box, I saw it!!! Lando Calrissian in Skiff Guard Disguise!!! OH....MY...GOD!!! I let out a shriek & grabbed the cherished figure. The long haired, nerdy guy turned & asked, "What did you find?" I exclaimed, "Lando Calrissian in Skiff Guard Disguise!" "Oh, man", he whined, "Are there more?" as he resumed his search. I'm not sure who was more excited when I picked Darrin up from school with the coveted figure in hand!

I just now checked on eBay & there are three "Lando Calrissian in Skiff Guard Disguise" action figures from 1983, unopened in the package. One is listed for $100, another for $129.99 & the other for $165. That doesn't mean anyone will pay those prices but the vintage figures out of the packages were going for $5 to $10.

Fast forward at least 30 years to Charley & Gaga heading to the same Toys R Us for another Monster High doll. To quote Yogi Berra, "It was deja vu all over again." Every time I go to that Hayward Toys R Us, I am reminded of the long ago search for Star Wars figures.  Last week we found a Monster High doll we didn't know about, "The Toralei Garden Ghoul". Neither Charley or I had heard of Garden Ghouls. Toralei had wings & was pretty cool.

The back of the package showed about 6 or 8 more Garden Ghouls & Charley saved it. She placed an "X" next to Toralei & told me she really, really, really wanted the Twyla Garden Ghoul. Gaga stopped at three stores on her drive home but there were no Twyla Garden Ghouls to be found. I did some online research & found that the Garden Ghouls are brand new. I could order it on Amazon but they didn't have a release date yet. Of course, Gaga ordered it!

Explaining the concept that it isn't manufactured yet to a child who is staring at the picture of the doll isn't easy. Hopefully, it will be shipped soon. Charley gets such enjoyment from all her ghouls - they sing, go ziplining, put on shows, do gymnastics, wear each other's clothes & have a wonderful time together. She feeds them tentacles & spider webs for a midnight snack, puts them to bed & reads them stories. Her imagination is endless when it comes to her Monster High ghouls. I just heard they are putting on a fashion show soon.

I am thankful to be reliving my Star Wars days with Darrin as I embrace the Monster High era with his daughter! Lots of fun for a 67 year old grandma - who knew?!!?!

DAY TRIPPIN'

Yesterday we headed out on what began as the "day trip from hell" but turned out to be an almost magical adventure. My 88 year old father & my mother, who died 26 years ago, loved the Northern California coast. They especially enjoyed spending a week two or three times a year in Bodega Bay or Sea Ranch. We were always invited for a weekend visit.

One misty, foggy weekend about 30 years ago, my mother & I took the dog for a walk & discovered a mile long trail near a home they often rented in Sea Ranch, 120 miles north of San Francisco. My dad, my husband at the time & my son had gone out for a day of golfing. Following the hike, my mother & I opened a bottle of wine & settled into the hot tub on the deck. It was one of the best afternoons I had ever shared with my mom. We took the guys on our hike the next day & the whole family made sure to walk that trail each year.

When my mom passed away my dad wanted her ashes scattered along our Sea Ranch trail. With pilots in the family, we easily made that happen. My father has told me often that he wants his ashes scattered along that favorite family trail with her. Darrin & I will make that happen as well when the time comes.

For the first 15 years or so after my mom died, my father made a mini pilgrimage to Sea Ranch to place a flower on the hillside below the trail & get lost in his memories. I went with him often for these day trips along with Darrin or my sister or various friends. His deteriorating health has limited his trips to Sea Ranch these past twelve years.

For the past several years I have been telling him that we would get him up there again but in truth, I was dreading the trip. It is daunting to think about the reality of getting him in & out the car many times, into wheelchair accessible bathrooms & find places he is capable of visiting with his limited mobility.

My incredible son suggested a few days ago that he & Charley could go with me to take him to Sea Ranch. Darrin has wonderful memories of his beloved grandmother & the times they spent together on these frequent mini vacations. My mother's birthday was July 9 - today. To avoid traffic (oh, how naive we were), we planned the day trip for Saturday.

One of my dad's favorite caregivers, John, who lives in Vermont but cared for my dad for two plus years keeps in touch & has made the effort to visit from across the country. It turned out that he was meeting his first grandson in Washington & made the journey south to spend a couple days with my dad. We asked if John was game for a crazy-ass day trip of over 400 miles to Sea Ranch with a 5 year old, an 88 year old & 3 adults - although that term "adults" is debatable. Yep, he was!

Yesterday morning we met Darrin & Charley in Vallejo. After the first of many bathroom breaks, the five of us piled into my dad's 1998 2-door Pontiac Grand Prix. That meant my dad in the front seat with the driver, Charley in her car seat & two others in the back seat. Cozy to say the least - plus the wheelchair, walker & various supplies in the trunk. Charley had some of her Monster High "ghouls", the iPad with movies to watch & assorted toys & snacks. I included towels & garbage bags in case anyone got car sick on the winding coastal roads. Whew, they didn't!

Before even connecting with Darrin & Charley we ran into a decent-sized traffic jam making us 20 minutes late for our rendezvous. It was the first of many. I know that the traffic in the greater Bay Area has definitely gotten worse but I didn't know it extended to Bodega Bay & beyond! I lost count of the number of slow downs & outright stops in the traffic. Ridiculous!

We brought lunch intending to eat it along the coast but Darrin found a park in Petaluma on his iPhone that worked out great. It was already noon & we weren't even halfway there. We had to load up the car, drive two blocks then head into Jack in the Box for a bathroom break. That sounds easy but it is not - piling five people (& four ghouls) into the car & getting everyone's seat belt fastened is not a simple chore. That was when I gave up my original ETA of returning home at 6:30 or 7 PM. 

I was amazed at my motley crew of support on our adventure. My dad was disgusted at the difficulty he was having & sounded ready to say forget it. But Darrin & John really stepped up. Darrin did about 80% of the driving & engaged his Pop in conversations about their memories. John took over getting the wheelchair & walker out of the trunk on every stop & bathroom break. He embraced the job of bathroom help like the true caregiver he is freeing me up to enjoy my time sharing Sea Ranch with Charley.

Since my dad could not climb the few steps up the hillside, we had Charley place the crepe myrtle flower for her great-grandma on the rocks. It was an emotional moment for all. Once we arrived in Sea Ranch, my dad's memories came flooding back & he was in his element. We could tell that he was embracing it all - it didn't matter that many of his recollections were not quite right. We all knew we had done a good thing - a really good thing. We didn't even leave Sea Ranch until 6 PM & none of us cared.

After dinner at McDonald's & dropping Charley & Darrin in Vallejo, we made it back to my dad's around 11 PM - after one more inexplicable traffic jam in Vacaville at 10 PM (WTF?). We had driven 400+ miles & endured a 14-1/2 hour day in cramped quarters. My father was extremely appreciative of what we all did to pull this day off for him. He was truly happy & loved the old memories it brought back for him.

I can tell you that I have never been more proud of my family - my son for taking the reins & making this day trip happen, my granddaughter for being a real trooper spending 9+ hours in the car, our friend who has become family for pitching in & my dad for genuinely expressing his gratitude to all of us willing to share his day.

There was something magical that occurred yesterday. It was a long, tiring day but so worth the effort we all put in to make the day a reality for my dad. I know my father feels blessed to have a family that would do this for him. Sure, I had been kind of dreading this day but ended up feeling that together we all accomplished something special that won't soon by forgotten. And I'm pretty sure my mom was looking down with a smile.

ON A MISSION

Do you ever get somewhat obsessed with a relatively small task that seems to snowball into something that absolutely HAS to be done & it has to be done NOW? I sure hope that a few of you do because otherwise I'm going to feel like a complete nutcase if I'm the only one who goes off the deep end trying to accomplish something that really isn't all that important in the overall scheme of things.

Basically, I've been on a mission these past 3 days to find something similar to the long forks that my parents had back when I was a kid. They were used to roast marshmallows or hot dogs over the barbecue or campfire. There was a red, wooden handle about 18" long with a metal fork, also about 18" long, that slid into the handle making a 3 foot long tool to safely roast the perfect marshmallow.

Over the years they were passed down & I ended up with a couple of these forks as an adult. Now, remember, I first recall using them when I was a kid. That would make them close to 60 years old. Even 20 years ago they were showing a lot of wear but they were family relics. My son roasted many marshmallows on those forks, too. Somehow, they have disappeared, or more likely my ex-husband got them in the divorce.

Darrin & Charley are coming up here for a long Fourth of July weekend to swim, play & shoot off fireworks which are legal here in Sacramento. We are all having a pool party on Sunday with my sister, her husband, my father & his caregiver. Charley has discovered that toasting marshmallows is fun & yummy. So, I decided to get the ingredients to make s'mores for dessert. We will roast them over the barbecue to enjoy a delicious all American treat.

BUT we didn't have any long forks like the old, worn out red ones from years past. I had stopped at a couple stores with no luck at all. I would ask the clerk for "a long fork to roast marshmallows so you don't burn yourself or catch something on fire." Everyone knew exactly what I was looking for but no one had them. I looked online but my searches didn't turn up anything close to what I was looking for.

Yesterday, I decided to make this a true mission & went to Home Depot, Target, Walmart, Lowe's & a few other stores with no luck. Last night I sat down at my computer determined to figure out where I could buy these damn long forks that everyone knew about but didn't carry. This was when it became an obsession!

Finally after at least an hour on the internet, I discovered what they are called - "marshmallow roasting sticks"! When you type "marshmallow roasting sticks" in the search bar, suddenly you find all kinds of amazing devices to roast marshmallows. They come in colors! They retract! They have some that can roast several at a time! They have ones with a small knob to rotate with your thumb for even browning! Who knew?

Now, my problem was that I could order any number of super cool marshmallow roasting sticks online but they wouldn't arrive in time for our pool party on Sunday since it was only two days away. I was more determined then ever to find a store at which to buy them. It wasn't like I didn't have at least ten things I needed to get done instead of traipsing all over Sacramento & Placer Counties looking for these things. But I didn't care, I HAD to have those damn sticks for my Charley to roast her marshmallows for s'mores!

After grocery shopping & lunch with a friend today, I decided to let "my fingers do the walking" - remember that ad campaign? This afternoon (Friday) I called REI - theirs were $12.95 each. I don't think so. Big 5 didn't have any. Bass Pro Shop connected me to the camping department where the woman told me they have several different types in stock that range from $4 each to $10 each. Hallelujah! I was on my way in five minutes.

I am now the proud owner of two state of the art marshmallow roasting sticks that have wooden handles, a retracting metal fork & the little knob that allows you to rotate the fork part with your thumb. I have a bag of marshmallows, a box of graham crackers & six Hershey bars at the ready for my entire family to make some kick ass s'mores on Sunday. Hmmm, maybe Charley & I will test them out tomorrow to make sure they taste good. I guess you can roast a marshmallow over an electric stove, right? I'll let you know.

Happy Fourth of July!

WARRIORS WIN!!!

Even though I have lived in Sacramento for 14 years, I still consider myself a born & raised Bay Area girl. The first 51 years of my life were spent in the East Bay. Those of you who know me are aware that I am a total sports fanatic. There is quite an array of local sports teams to cheer for in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Tonight our Golden State Warriors won their second NBA Championship in the past three years! And barring any major injuries, it sure looks like they have a great chance to win several more. Many experts are calling them a "super team" with more talent than any others in recent history. Time will tell on that one. But for now they are the best & they are fun to watch!

Last year I bought Charley & myself Warriors shirts to wear during the playoffs. Unfortunately, they were beaten in The Finals by the Cleveland Cavaliers (who they beat this year!) after posting the most wins in regular season history. That record lost its luster when they couldn't complete the championship victory. But this year they weren't going to lose having acquired yet another super star in Kevin Durant to compliment Steph Curry, Klay Thompson & Draymond Green.

My son, Darrin, wanted a four generation warrior photo wearing our shirts. He brought his extra large giveaway shirt from last year's playoff game that he attended for my dad to wear. We all watched the first finals game together. Lou was our photographer for what Darrin called the "Four Generation Dub Nation" collection.

Here we are before the first victory! Four generations of Warrior's fans - ages 5 to 88!

Darrin has been adding photos to Facebook this past couple of weeks. Those of you on Facebook have probably already seen these but I know many of you aren't & wanted to share them.

We were all optimistic that the Warriors would emerge victorious & took this photo before the first game. Tonight Darrin put it on Facebook as the Warriors won the NBA Championship & became "Number One!"

We have been so blessed to be sports fans in the San Francisco Bay Area. If my memory & Wikipedia are correct here are the various championships dating back to the early 70s. It's been quite a ride!

Oakland Athletics - I was a huge fan when the A's moved here in the late 60s. They won three World Series in 1972, 1973 & 1974, adding one more in 1989 when they beat the San Francisco Giants in the "Earthquake Series".

Oakland Raiders - This is the only Bay Area team that I really don't like (okay, I hate them!) It all stems from my dislike of their previous owner, Al Davis. And the fact that their fans tend to be thugs. But they still won Super Bowls in 1977 & 1981.

San Francisco 49ers - Their run of five Super Bowl victories in 1982, 1985, 1989, 1990 & 1995 was the highlight of my Bay Area sports fandom. After so many years of bad teams & tough losses those wins were pure heaven. I swore I would never complain again after what they did in the Bill Walsh/Joe Montana era. I haven't complained but I've had to bite my tongue a lot.

San Francisco Giants - I recall my dad taking me to Giants night games at Candlestick Park when it was freezing cold back in the early 60s. Lou was a huge Giants fan & since I met him 16 years ago, I've reverted back to the old days & am once again a total Giants fan. Their three World Series wins in 2010, 2012, & 2014 have been amazing. We try to plan a trip each year around seeing the Giants play in other cities. So far we are at 10 & counting.

Golden State Warriors - Now our Warriors have joined the cavalcade of Bay Area sports championship teams. We attended Warrior games when they were lousy even purchasing mini-season tickets back when Darrin was around 13. The current Warriors players & coaches are amazing. I can't wait to see what this Bay Area team accomplishes in the years to come! 

A fun thing to do: If you haven't seen it, go to YouTube & search "Steph Curry Carpool Karaoke". I defy anyone not to grin while watching Steph sing "Moana" & "Love is an Open Door" with James Corden.

PERSPECTIVES ON AGING

"I yam what I yam & that's all what I am, I'm Popeye the Sailor Man.

I'm strong to the finich, 'cause I eats my spinach, I'm Popeye the Sailor Man!"

Those of you who are around my age might remember the old "Popeye, the Sailor Man" cartoons from the 50s & 60s or earlier (if not, you can just go ahead & think I'm a little off my rocker - which I am). For some reason that old song that Popeye always sang after he ate his can of spinach & made short order of the bad guys has always stuck in my head. The whole thing was completely politically incorrect but most things were back then.

This evening it was the "I yam what I yam" part that had my mind spinning in regards to my "Thoughts on Aging" blog post last week. I heard from a lot of you - mostly women - in response to that blog who were feeling the same things. Apparently, there is quite a camaraderie between all of us old folks as we make our way through senior citizenship.

I so much want to be okay with the years adding up, with a few extra pounds & with some more wrinkles. I want to say to myself, "I am what I am", AND, here's the trick, really believe it. Our world is so geared to youth & vitality & wanting to look like a super model - not that I ever did but somewhere inside, I felt it. Years ago I recall Tyra Banks on a campaign to stop the unrealistic goals of young girls & women saying, "They think everyone should look like Tyra Banks. Hell, most of the time I don't even look like Tyra Banks."

My hope is that all of us "fourth quarter women" can truly say "I am what I am" & be proud of the fact that every ache, every pain, every wrinkle, every pound, every gray hair, every year was born of a lot of life well lived & a ton of people well loved.

My Charley doesn't care if Gaga has an extra roll or two around her middle when we snuggle up under a blanket to watch TV or read. She doesn't think twice if the selfie we take shows Gaga's wrinkles under her chin. She cares about the love & comfort & safety she feels with Gaga's arms around her.

My Darrin doesn't care that his mom has most definitely turned into a grandma over the years - at least I don't think he does. He cares that I am there for him unconditionally, always, for anything. He posted some wonderful Mother's Day thoughts & photos on my Facebook page which warmed my heart more than he knows, reinforced my beliefs & made me cry. If you haven't seen them, check out my Facebook. 

My Lou would love it if I wasn't turning into an old lady before his eyes but I hope that he, too, accepts that time does indeed take its toll on each one of us. He still gives me heartfelt cards for every occasion & tells me he loves me daily after almost 16 years together. Sharing a history with each other is what matters.

The point I want to make is that I believe each of these three most precious people in my life love me for who I am on the inside, not the outside. I can't control the outside or the passing of time, but I can control the caring & loving from the inside. As I've aged I think my capacity to love has increased tremendously. Grandchildren give you a perspective on unconditional love & aging that nothing else can.

As time ticks by, I will do my best to embrace every single sign of aging - wrinkles, aches, pounds, gray hair - because although it may all show on the exterior, on the inside I still feel young, vital & thrilled to be a part of this wonderful life. Somewhere inside there remains a fucking amazing super model that is grinning from ear to ear & thinking, "Eat your heart out Tyra Banks! You aint' got nothing on me, girl. I yam what I yam!"

THOUGHTS ON AGING

This was actually written three days ago but I will leave it as it was when I typed these words that evening.

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I am feeling old tonight & let me tell you, it is not a lot of fun. I am 67 years old. It seems that in the past I could always justify the fact that my current age wasn’t really that old. When you are 45, it’s easy to say, hell, I’m only halfway through this life. Or when you are 50, everything still seems to work okay & you can do most things - & you still look pretty damn good in a bathing suit. Even 55 doesn’t seem all that old. But, son of a bitch, there is no way to convince yourself that 67 isn’t THAT old. Shit, I’m already seven years older than my mother when she passed away.

Tonight's melancholy was brought on by the death of an old friend of forty plus years from my skydiving days. Dave & I had reconnected a little over a year ago via Facebook & email. Like me (& most people our age), Dave didn’t sleep worth a damn. Many nights we would exchange emails in the wee hours of the morning. Dave was in his early 70s & I knew he was battling cancer.

Lou & I took a road trip to Virginia City, Nevada, about two hours away, & spent the day with Dave & his wife last October. It was a great visit & brought back lots of good memories for me. While undergoing chemo, his emails got shorter & less frequent. Dave was always a happy-go-lucky guy so I suspected that things weren’t going well. I found out tonight that he passed away.

My dad always says that all his friends have died. I’ll be damned if that isn’t starting for me now. Dave is the fourth skydiving friend who has died this past year! And three of them were either my age or just a few years older.

As always my mind tends to have a mind of its own. Once the loop starts going around in my brain, I can’t stop it. Things like realizing that in 20 years I will be 87 make me head to the kitchen for another glass of wine! Twenty years is not very long. Charley will be 25 & Darrin will be 61. Those things just boggle my mind. And, of course, that is assuming that I make it well into my 80s. Time is running out. I've heard the analogy comparing a life time to the four quarters of a football game. I am definitely in the fourth quarter of the game.

Looking at my dad’s health at age 88 or Lou’s dad at age 92 & it really hits home at how limited I will likely be in 20 years. Seeing how much Bruni declined before her passing last December at age 89, makes me wonder how many “good” years I’ve got left. And that scares the shit out of me. Where did these 67 years go? I vividly recall the birth of my son 41 years ago when I was a mere 26 year old. Then I wake up one morning & I am 67 years old. How does that happen?

Lately I feel every bit of my age, too. My feet have hurt all the time for years. Chiropractors, acupuncturists, podiatrists & regular doctors haven’t helped. My shoulder has been really sore lately & I didn’t do anything to hurt it. Strange things grow on me. Weight will not go away without starving myself. If I turn my arm a certain way, there are a hundred little wrinkles. And when I look in the mirror, I see my grandmother.

On our recent trip to Washington, DC, we did a ton of walking. It’s been several days & I am still feeling the effects of really sore feet & legs. Even my “younger guy” (by five years) commented that he never used to be bothered by walking miles on a trip but now days that is not the case. Trading foot massages is now a normal part of our vacations. As long as we can still do it (& survive the long plane rides), we will keep on keeping on. But I know that someday, we just won’t be able to handle it anymore. 

In the meantime, I’ll do my best to keep up with Charley & hope that the ravages of time can be held at bay awhile longer. Charley is definitely the best antidote to aging. Lou & I plan to travel as much & as often as possible starting with our next journey to Iceland, Greenland & Norway in August.

The quote “Getting old ain’t for sissies!”, has been attributed to Bette Davis but I'm not sure it has been substantiated. Whoever said it was damn right! BUT it still beats the hell out of the alternative!

GRAMMAR SOAPBOX

My number one pet peeve when it comes to misuse of the English language is with the word "unique". Hardly a day goes by that I don't hear someone (usually on TV) say "very unique". I just heard it again from a scientist on Jimmy Fallon's Tonight Show. When describing her butterfly robot she said, "It is very unique technology." I wanted to scream....ARRGGGHHH!

There are no degrees of "unique"! Something is either "unique" or it isn't. Let me emphasize this again - THERE ARE NO DEGREES OF UNIQUE!!!

Okay, time to hop on my grammar soapbox for this blog post. I pulled out my copy of "The Elements of Style" by William Strunk, Jr. & E.B.White. Anyone who writes, for fun or for a living, will likely have a copy of "The Elements of Style". It is a skinny little book that addresses pretty much any question a writer may have regarding rules of usage, composition & misused words or expressions. It has stood the test of time - as far as I can tell from reading the title page & introduction, it dates back to 1919.

Here is what "The Elements of Style" says about the word "unique": "Means without like or equal. Hence, there can be no degrees of uniqueness."

Examples from the book:

"It was the most unique coffee maker available.", should be "It was a unique coffee maker."

"The balancing act was very unique.", should be "The balancing act was unique."

I hear intelligent, educated people say "very unique" all the time & I want to yell at them, "There are no degrees of unique! Unique doesn't need to be described." I am by no means a card carrying member of the grammar police but this one grates on me. I think we all have pet peeves that drive us just a tiny bit crazy. What are yours?

I decided to look up one of my lesser annoyances in "The Elements of Style" to see what their take was on one of my dad's favorite words. For as long as I can remember my father has used the word "irregardless". I always believed that it should just be "regardless". As I typed this, low & behold, my spell checker flagged "irregardless" as misspelled. I thought, "Yeah, because it's not a word."

Pulling my well used dictionary (next to my "The Elements of Style") from the shelf above my computer, I discovered that Webster's defines "irregardless" as "a substandard or humorous redundancy for regardless".

"The Elements of Style" says "Irregardless should be regardless. The error results from failure to see the negative in "less" & from a desire to get it in as a prefix". So, there you have it - "You're wrong, Dad!"

I should probably go back & read through the 95 pages of "The Elements of Style" again since I am guilty of many of the rules brought up by the authors. I have a tendency to use the word "so" too often (see above paragraph) when the book tells me to avoid it.

But I think the thing I need to work on most is number 17 in the "Principles of Composition" chapter - "Omit needless words". In the previous sentence I could leave out "But I think" & "most" making it "The thing I need to work on is number 17, etc. But I LIKE my needless words. They feel needed to me. The shortened sentence sounds awfully boring to me. I've always been a talker & tend to write that way, too. And don't even get me started on commas.